Feeling empty

[Clotilde]

Hi Geoff,

Thank-you for showing me how to start a new post. I have replied to the previous one, but I will continue writing on this one.

Clotilde

[geoff]

dear Clotilde, that's great because otherwise it would get lost in someone's post, which may mean that people who don't look up that particular post so you wouldn't get any replies, which you well deserve to get. Geoff.

[AGrace]

Hi Clotilde,

Welcome to the forums. I am glad the amazing Geoff has helped you navigate around.

I didn't see your other post, so I thought I'd just say hello, and remind you that we are always here should you wish to post again:)

AGrace

[Clotilde]

Hi everyone,

This was my previous post:

Hi,

I have just joined tonight. I have had depression for many years and it has been controlled. At the moment, I am feeling really low, I am not sure if it is partly due to my job which is getting me down. I always try to be strong, but at the moment I feel like an empty vessel.

Thanks for listening.

[Clotilde]

Thanks Grace.

I find it helpful to talk to people who understand what I am going through at the moment. I don't feel so alone.

[CMF]

Hi clotilde,

I too have suffered anxiety/depression on and off for many years.  I was extremely low and empty a few weeks ago but the last few days have been better.  I can understand a job getting you down.  what do you do for work? I have been making a conscious effort to take my iron and vitamin d and have been walking every day which I think is helping. the sunshine is a nice change too. 

 what do you enjoy doing outside of work?

[Clotilde]

I am a teacher and I love teaching students, but currently my employer is putting so many demands us. We have to keep up to date with technology and they are constantly changing the software that we use. Also, the last two term breaks, I had to attend workshops interstate and I felt as if I didn't get a break. I work all day and then I go home and do corrections until 10 pm. I don't have any hobbies other than my work at the moment. If I don't keep up with the workload then I will be even more stressed.

[AGrace]

Hi Clotilde,

I completely get your workload. I'm not a teacher but I used to be a trainer. I'd be in the classroom training from 7am - 6pm, and everyone thought it was such a glamorous job. Everyone forgets the fact that because you're in a training room all day all the work you actually need to do has to happen at night. I used to switch off my computer at 11:30pm, but my phone would always be on, in case I received an email or call from my bosses overseas. I felt like I was switched on 24hrs a day. Sadly the more I did the more they expected I could do - so it was just never ending. One day I realised I had to turn the switch off. I ended up in hospital for a few months and subsequently had to resign.

I made a promise to myself that I'd never go back to that life, it just wasn't worth it. 

It sounds to me like you are losing yourself in your work. Working day and night, during breaks, and not having time for you and your interests outside of work is obviously taking it's toll. Is there an opportunity to change the way things are for you? Have you spoken with your employer about what an average day looks like for you? Is there an opportunity for you to speak with a union member? If there's no opportunity for change then I guess you have to ask yourself how important is your health?

If your depression is already on a one way path to return then it's vital that you take some time to get some care. Do you still see a therapist? Are you taking medications? What do you think would help you right now?

I look forward to hearing more from you.

AGrace

[geoff]

dear Clotilde, Amber is right, if your work consumes your time, then your mind it only leads to trouble.

I was the same as I was self employed but I was working 6 days for my work, then night time I would be working at home as we were renovating it and this includes the 7th day, I loved what I was doing but at the end was when I finally broke down.

It can be a trap but I realise that you have these responsibilities, and I know that you are 'always try to be strong' but even this won't be enough to beat this depression, so please be careful, and please let us know how you are going. Geoff.

[CMF]

Hi Clotilde,

ok, you have an important job a as teacher, primary or high school?  I too was a trainer like agrace and yes it is demanding and not glamorous in class all day and then prepping in between.  I also think its important that work stress doesn't not consume you but I know its hard.  I'm currently on maternity leave and cannot see myself going back to work stress plus 3 kids to look after. how are others coping with the constant demands?