Depression affecting decisions which could help come out of it

[RajeshK]

Hi

Does depression affect decision making so badly that when presented with an opportunity to come out of it, I cant. The mind become so negative that cant see any positive even in the best opportunity and then decide against taking it. It is terrible, what to do?

[JessF]

Hello Rajesh, yes depression does affect our decision making. One of the things that can happen sometimes is that when we are presented with potential ways to help ourselves, "but I can't because" is the go to response. I see it often on the forums here, and it is upsetting and frustrating to read. I have been there myself. 

Sometimes it can be because the problem seems so overwhelming...that is another thing depression does, it magnifies problems out of all proportion. In cases like these, I find that breaking things down into smaller and smaller pieces can help you get over that first hurdle.

That old saying, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step is very appropriate for when managing your depression.

Of course, the solutions offered to you sometimes are not appropriate for the situation you are in.

What is the opportunity that you have been presented with that you are finding difficult to accept?

[RajeshK]

Thanks Jess

I feel better that you replied. No one else did. Are you a Psychologist with Beyound Blue?

For first time in my life I lost job 2 months ago. the job market for me is very bad. I received a call with possibility of job but that was in different city and they needed me to join next day. It was small company and possible low salary, no relocation,  so i started thinking a lot negative about the opportunity and in the process they thought i am not interested or not suitable and it has gone. I could not take quick yes decision and they could not wait at all for me to say firmly. Now I am continuously blaming myself alone for the situation. I am terrible, I dont want to loose any new one, what to do?

Regards

[africandrumcreations]

Hi Rajesh

I offer you these thoughts - if there has been one job offer, then job offers are possible in the world, so it is possible that another offer will come. If they asked you to start the next day in another city, now you can consider that possibility with no urgency, so if someone else asks you one day, you will already know your answer and will not be faced with the anxiety of trying to make up your mind in a rush. I have found that my decision making ability is very negatively influenced by my anxiety and depression. I can't even make up my mind whether to have bread or toast at the moment. So I try to give myself plenty of time, or decide beforehand so I don't have to try and think in a rush.

I would also say that I blame myself for everything. It seems to be a symptom of my depression, and a friend has suggested that I be kind to myself. I do my best to treat myself kindly but it's difficult. So I keep monitoring my negative thoughts and when there is one that is damaging to me, I ask my thought how true it really is, and how much it is a symptom of depressed thinking. Even stopping to do that at least breaks up the energy of the negative thought just for a moment somehow, and that seems to help a little.

And another friend offered me the advice that I only need one job, not all of them, so that feels more achievable to me when everything feels overwhelming at the moment.

I hope this makes sense.

Jeremy