Fading Away...

[Everything-Not-Zen]

Hello one and all...

This is my first post on here. I just typed out a lengthy explanation of my current situation and it exceeded the character limit by far. I wasn’t sure how to narrow it down effectively so I am just writing this super basic background for now. I am diagnosed Bipolar I (has nearly been changed to Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective several times now) and I am really struggling. I had my last psychotic episode in December last year and was hospitalised until February. They wanted to keep me in for at least another eight weeks but I managed to get out of it. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have been discharged when I was. I was somewhat manic until I completely crashed about two months ago now. I am living alone in the bush about fifteen minutes from the nearest small town. I lost my job and my relationship following my episode. And consequently my life. I have no reason whatsoever to get out of bed each day. I have no motivation to do absolutely anything and only leave the house when I absolutely have to. Usually to get tobacco. I am certainly not eating well. A lot of the time I eat nothing at all during a day. I can’t shower at my house at the moment due to water/plumbing issues that my real estate/landlord is yet to rectify. So my hygiene practice is pretty much null and void. I shower maybe twice a week at a “friends” house while he is at work. I say “friends” because he is a horribly toxic influence on my life (long story for another time) and I choose to keep him at bay. I am on no medication since leaving hospital and am smoking marijuana every day in an effort to cope. I am stopping the latter in a couple of days mind you. Only thing I can currently think of to do that might help me right now. I am completely isolated. No friends or family and certainly no support. I have thought of going back to hospital but know they will only drug me up mega and I will be back here where I started before too long. I am on the DSP now which is hard when paying rent. I barely have enough left over for food and petrol so I couldn’t even eat properly if I wanted to. The bills are starting to pile up and I am at a loss at what to do there either. So basically absolutely everything is a mess and I am quickly fading away... Thank you to those who took the time to read this and those who may respond.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I do have some ideas.

Financial relief is one very important slice of your puzzle. Renting is taking a lot of your DSP income.

I assume you have a car, but could be wrong. If so then pirchasing a small caravan could release some tension in your life. Bush living could become bush camping. The extra income could see you spend some money on food, staying in a caravan park occasionally (or permanently) and the hygiene issue could be resolved. Ideally a small caravan with shower/portapotti would be best but baby steps eh.

Ovetall your determination is what will result in a better wuality of life. Short, medium and long tetm goals have to be planned. Dont be afraid to add your dreams to your plan.

Google

Beyondblue Topic never ever give up

I wish you well. I hope you feel comfortable here and feel ok to reply or add new threads as time goes by or just keep adding onto this one.

TonyWK