Depression or sadness

[eloop]

Sometime we think we are depressed we might just be sad say we have a chronic illness that limits us going out and participate in life fully I know there is clinical depression but we might just be sad sometimes and sharing our sadness with someone or on the forum might help we are not alone in our sadness 

[WaterFront]

Hi eloop,

I understand what you are saying. I'm not depressed. I know what that feels like. I'm just sad. Sad about the way someone I cared for treated me and the situation it has caused. I know I will carry this like a scar. It changed who I am - in some ways for the better. This sadness doesn't mean I can't be happy in other areas of my life and I make an effort everyday to make it a good one.

Is something causing you sadness right now? Or are you just making an observation in general? It would be great to hear you thoughts on this, if you want to.

WF

[randomxx]

Hi op.

l had a thread here about this exact thing myself a few yrs back . l sort of knew in myself it was for me more a sadness making me depressed than actual depression itself that many here have but ldk, l hoped to work through it somehow, talk to people here, something, how to handle it, fix it. lt did help but unfortunately my reality still came back to the same thing, it was sadness about life so rather than meds what l really needed was to find some happiness again.

The life side of things, it's been full on , and a lot of it my doing and so in big areas self inflicted troubles that ruined opportunities l just didn't handle right or appreciate enough for what they were . The biggest things in life like a new relationship after marriage that could've been everything l could hope for, a second chance , yet l held back and had trust issues and didn't just grab it with both hands and cherish it, looked after it, the way l should've, and l blew it.

Before that was marriage troubles later on and divorce and so yrs of sadness following, loss, starting over, trying to be a dad.

For me it's all been about life and now this last with my relationship over and the place that will leave life in now. l'll be moving again and have no idea about my future and apart from beautiful time with my daughter there really isn't anything else much in life and once again my future just feels like a blurry solo mess.

l try to make the most of things, try to get out, try to do things l'll enjoy, try to appreciated the little things , try to be happy , but the sadness is still all there. Bc most of that is forced and pushing myself bc l know if l don't l'll just fall in a heap. lt does help for sure and for me l think it is a better way to go, but it is forced and a constant push.

Hopefully though somehow that leads to new happiness and direction again, one day. ldk.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi eloop,

I’ve definitely found sadness and depression to be two different things and I’ve experienced both.

Sadness for me is an emotion that passes through. I might feel it in response to a loss, disappointment, hearing about something sad etc, and it will have its own organic timeframe where I feel it and then it gradually eases.

Depression for me is much more a state of being stuck. It’s like sadness trapped in the body but it changes form. So it is not so much about feeling like sadness is, but more almost not feeling like becoming numb and the world now seems in shades of grey instead of colour. With depression I feel very heavily weighed down, fatigued and extremely stuck, like I am frozen. With sadness I feel a lot more and it is emotion in motion - it passes through and I can feel it’s intensity but also feel it naturally easing.

Depression for me has followed situations in life where I have worked extremely hard to solve something over a long period of time and it still hasn’t worked. It is often linked with feelings of hopelessness and overwhelming struggle. Whereas sadness is not as debilitating and I know it will pass and it just feels very natural and normal. Depression, on the other hand, feels unnatural and wrong, like my nervous system is chronically stuck.

 I hope you are going ok? Feel free to share if you are dealing with some sadness and you think it would help. When I think about it, being able to share with others who are empathetic is like a way that helps sadness be felt and then pass through. I’m more likely to cry if I’m sad. If I’m depressed I may go beyond a point where I am able to cry, or if I can cry it is restricted and can’t release much. I definitely prefer sadness over depression!

Take care,

ER

[quirkywords]

Elop
I agree there is a distinction.

one can be sad but nit depressed

and one can be depressed but not sad.

[randomxx]

Yeah they are different things. Reading about the forum some people have had real depression all their life no matter what and for no real reason and been on meds and what have you. lt is a very real disorder anyone around here must've seen it dozens of times through the forum.

l feel so badly for them bc they can't escape it unlike just a sadness depression for that there are just reasons in our lives but if we can overcome those we're ok which is the case for myself.

Real depression can't do that.

l met a lady late 40s lucky in finding the right meds early in late teens and went on to have a family career and in her words a relatively normal existence . She said she couldn't have done any of it without them. l really admired her l could see it all over her and the battles that she';d had with it.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Yes, it takes different forms, doesn’t rx. I know in my case the depression I’ve experienced has been secondary to complex trauma from childhood. Same with anxiety. The trauma is the primary issue, and being stuck in unresolved trauma states is the cause of anxiety and depression for me. It’s a long process working through trauma issues to alleviate secondary depression. Whereas for some people depression seems to be the primary diagnosis. It can also be quite complex, especially when you consider intergenerational issues as well.

I’m currently also dealing with hormonal dysregulation that leads to a major drop in serotonin, so physiological hormonal factors can also trigger depression. But from what I’m learning as I research this, the hormonal dysregulation pattern can also be caused by trauma. So for me, trauma seems to be at the basis of everything.

Being sad though I can deal with. It is good to be able to feel emotions and feeling sadness to me is part of life, just as feeling joy and many others things are. I don’t mind sadness because it feels normal and human and healthy.