Depression help

[Macka90]

Hi everyone

Let me start with my story.

2 weeks ago I started to have health anxiety due to something I thought was in my throat (nothing there) then it got worse from there, I started feeling horrible every day I could push through and do everything I needed to for myself and my 3 beautiful children, then within the last few days I couldn't do anything I mean anything I could barely walk, other then go to the toilet, I had to get my partner to take my kids to school, I had to have my sister stay with my me a few days cause all I wanted to do was sleep. 

Last night I ended up going to hospital cause I knew this wasn't me I thought there was something wrong with me they done chest X-ray and blood tests but it all came back normal so they dr referred me to mental health, which when I was talking to the dr I figured out I have depression, I have suffered depression before but nothing this bad, I adrupltly stopped taking my meds last time as I fell pregnant, they have put me on new meds the same as I was on before as they helped a lot last time, and am also on sleeping pills as I have trouble staying asleep which is making me tired during the day. 

I would love to hear back from people that have suffered depression like this before, and any tips on helping me recover, I have mental health psychologist come out to my house and see me and they are putting my dosage up within the week,.

thanks and hope to her par back from people soon

[white knight]

Hi Macka, welcome

We very regularly get people with depression going off their meds. Many reasons why and yours isn't a bad reason. But we should remember, once the reason has passed, a consultation with your doctor is essential, really essential. For we have to return to managing our depression as we did before not just live in hope it wont return. Living with that hope and here are the consequences.

You should be forgiven though. You are not alone. When we don't have depression we don't think it will return. That's weird isn't it?  In my case I have to rely on my wife and often she'll say "did you forget your meds anytime this week? "  And likely I had. But there was no indication of anything different from my perspective.

With this knowledge from me to you Macka, you can go away knowing that you can avoid this incident from recurring by managing your illness as a lifetime commitment.

Prevention is better than cure. Much like gout. 🙂

Tony WK

[Macka90]

Hi white knight

thank you for ur reply, yes I was meant to go back and see my GP after having my son but life got so busy with 3kids and my son was very sick as a newborn so I only worried about getting him better, I always knew depression was bad but I never thought I would get it this bad, I never thought my body would crash the way it has. I am on day 3 of my meds them to be working but only in the afternoon. 

I am completely committed to getting better for myself and kids, I just feel like a bad mother as I can't do much for them in the state I am in and it hurts a lot, I just want tone me again, the person who can do everything for her kids and myself. 

I need to get my anxiety treated the most as I think that is what's causing me worry a lot, I just hope the meds kicking in soon and they help me.

thanks for ur reply and please keep them coming, I feel better when I can talk to people who know what I'm going through.

[white knight]

Hi Macka, thanks for replying

Anxiety, one of my biggest challenges. I was nicknamed the "worrier" as a 12 yo child by a teacher. Such was the frown on my face and never happy.

This worry turne to nervousness and eventually during a heated workplace incident in 1987 I had what was first diagnosed as a heart attack. Several weeks later on a walking test machine which, tests to see if your blood pressure restores itself under duress, my heart was found to be strong and no heart attack....panic attack!!

So my doctor gave me 12 months of therapy. It was good. I can recall my therapist asking me every week how my week was. As I was in a heightened state I was imagining things like whether my boss was going to turn up at my home or if a debt collector was. He's ask "do you think that is being realistic"? My answer was no. "Then why are you imagining these things are going to happen".?

This form of questioning was a major thing for me to realise, to be told in a tactful manner that my anxiety was solely caused by my own mind's imagination of "what could happen"....but rarely did.

So medication was prescribed and he taught me relaxation methods, the latter that initially I believed was a waste of time. Med lasted 12 years before I was relaxed enough to go off them. Relaxation methods a further 13 years...25 years in total before I could honesty say my anxiety was totally gone.

Everyone is different and you might not need that length of time. But one should accept that these lifelong illnesses are a lifestyle change as important as showering or wearing clothes, meds and other treatments are or should be part of your daily routine.

You are doing everything right. Your commitment to your children is great. Look after yourself. The stability in your home in terms of your mental health is vital for your childrens environment. You are on the right path and I congratulate you for that.

Tony WK

[Macka90]

Thanks for replying Tony WK

I take my meds every morning as soon as I wake up well pretty much as I have to wake my girls for school, the community mental health people put my dosage up today on my anti depressants and have given me a anti psych med to take for my anxiety but I am affraid of taking it as it can make me sleepy and that's the one thing I am trying not to do during the day, as I have my son home but my mum is with me in case I do go to sleep.

i guess u can say I am anxious about taking my new meds but I am going to give them a go tomorrow, I have come along way in just a few days as just a few days ago I couldn't eat not because I wasn't hungry but because I couldn't eat I have now started to eat more during the day and more dinner at night, which I am very happy about, I was never really a big eater other then dinner that was my main meal for the day I would snack during the day before, but on junk now I eat fruit during the day and sandwiches. 

I don't want my kids to see me like this so when they r around I put on a brave face even though they are young (5,4,1) and don't understand but I don't want them to see me so down. I have out my anxiety down to the fact my partner has just started working again and I don't want to be at home alone during the night, he is a interstate truck driver, I have always had someone here with me. 

Hope to hear from u again.

Macka

[white knight]

You seem to have things under control. Tackle things/improvements one at a time. Don't expect too much of yourself.

Your hubby will worry about you. He has enough worries being on the road. You need to let him be and when you feel well let him know with a phone call. That reassurance will help him do his job better.

Take care   Tony WK

[Macka90]

Hi White Knight 

thanks for ur reply.

Yes I know he worries that's why I don't call him much when he is away. 

I am feeling a lot better on my meds and now all I lack is motivation to get things done but I will say I have always been like that but also I have been able to do them still. 

My depression and anxiety is coming in waves, I'll be fine for few hours and then it'll hit, it sucks big time as it always hits when I gotta go drop my girls at school or pick them up.

i can't wait to be my old self again and be able to go out without feeling depressed or anxious before I leave. 

If anyone has any coping tips please let me know. 

Thanks again for replying.