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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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margs23 I hate myself
  • replies: 6

I truly hate myself right now. I have no friends and cannot talk to my partner of 20 years as he doesn't do empathy. One of my major problems is that I can never see the good in other people and find it difficult to say anything nice to anyone. Words... View more

I truly hate myself right now. I have no friends and cannot talk to my partner of 20 years as he doesn't do empathy. One of my major problems is that I can never see the good in other people and find it difficult to say anything nice to anyone. Words come out of my mouth and I immediately regret them. I suffer with depression but I am coming off my medication as I don't feel it's helping. I never feel good enough. I think this comes from my parents as they never encouraged me to achieve anything only telling me what I wouldn't achieve. Also at school I had problems and was never encouraged and people wonder why I hated school. I have made up illnesses in the past which have resulted in long stays in hospital. I don't know why I did this. I want to stop my current behaviour as it is so destructive but I don't know how. I just want to feel better about myself and maybe have some friends that I can share my thoughts with SIMILAR THREADS I hate myself I hate my life and I have failed at everything

JustTiffanyxo Sooo
  • replies: 3

I'd just thought I'd tell everyone a bit about myself, I;m Tiffany and have had severe chronic depression for the last 12 years. 10 of those years medicated. But, I am also a Registered Nurse, I know the 'effective' measures to deal with depression a... View more

I'd just thought I'd tell everyone a bit about myself, I;m Tiffany and have had severe chronic depression for the last 12 years. 10 of those years medicated. But, I am also a Registered Nurse, I know the 'effective' measures to deal with depression almost like second nature. None of these were working for me and I'd start feeling like a failure for not being able to do simple things. A small portion of my brain told me what I needed to do to get better, but the much bigger, much depressed part of the brain said 'why bother' and has won numerous times. So Instead, I decided to write a blog entry and document every day of my life for 100 days. To see if there's a pattern, specific stressors that remain constant, I dunno. But I thought I'd give it a go (I think I'm up to day 7) haha. Id thought I'd share here too incase someone out there is feeling just like me. BROKEN.

HA1 A need to talk
  • replies: 6

I am finding that I getting increasingly frustrated that I cannot find the ability to share my thoughts and worries with a 'friend'. That I do not have a friend to share with; to listen to me. Of course it is my own doing that I find myself in this p... View more

I am finding that I getting increasingly frustrated that I cannot find the ability to share my thoughts and worries with a 'friend'. That I do not have a friend to share with; to listen to me. Of course it is my own doing that I find myself in this predicament - been without real friends all my life. Perhaps due to social anxiety, perhaps due to who I am. Of late I have been feeling progressively less well in terms of my mental health. I go to psychiatrist and psychologist all too regularly. But frankly not getting real progress there, and that is really frustrating. Although I enjoy talking to psychologist. My partner is great, but I am fearful of burdening her further, as she has really started to struggle with my illness. Not surprisingly perhaps, she can't understand that I am not getting better. After all this time, the medication should have done its job and I should be back to 'normal'. Have tried explaining the (often) usual reality of mental illness; I will (hopefully) get better, but I will always need to mange my illness. For this view I am told I am a defeatist. All this not exchanged in anger, but in discussions between partners. So, to avoid burdening her more, I am gradually keeping more of my feelings and thoughts to myself. Although I thought I had retired it, the mask has well and truly come back out of the box I threw it in. As a result, I am starting to feel the burden of not being able to share my thoughts with someone special, a friend. Replying to posts in this forum certainly helps a lot. When I started it was very therapeutic. But I need to also share with someone I can eyeball, to see their reactions and body language. Haha - that feels better now that I have vented. Thanks for reading (if you did). K

Wife24 Depression and those around you
  • replies: 5

I just wondered, Is there a chance you can get depression by living with depressed people? I don't mean "catching it" but I am in a relationship with someone who has depression and I'm starting to get down, cry and not feel like myself anymore. View more

I just wondered, Is there a chance you can get depression by living with depressed people? I don't mean "catching it" but I am in a relationship with someone who has depression and I'm starting to get down, cry and not feel like myself anymore.

Jo3 Suffering depression and having concentration & memory problems
  • replies: 8

For a while now I have been having terrible trouble concentrating on things, For eg reading a book - this is very difficult for me at the moment. I struggle trying to read a book. My psych has given me some reading to do on Mood gym but do you think ... View more

For a while now I have been having terrible trouble concentrating on things, For eg reading a book - this is very difficult for me at the moment. I struggle trying to read a book. My psych has given me some reading to do on Mood gym but do you think I can remember what I am reading? - NO. It is very frustrating because I have to go back weekly to him and let him know what I've read. I get angry with myself because I don't like what's happening. Could it be because of my depression, anxiety and BPD? Has anyone else had this problem? And if so, what did you do to help with concentration/memory? I sometimes feel that my pysch doesn't believe me when I tell him that I don't remember things. I don't know what to do, hope someone can give me some advice. Thanks Jo

White_Rose There's got to be a better way
  • replies: 9

My thoughts are whirling round my head trying to express how I feel. This cycle of ups and downs we all talk about is not good enough. Taking pills to make us feel better and then not being dependent on them. How is that different to any other kind o... View more

My thoughts are whirling round my head trying to express how I feel. This cycle of ups and downs we all talk about is not good enough. Taking pills to make us feel better and then not being dependent on them. How is that different to any other kind of drug dependency? And more to the point, what benefit do we get? The glib answer for the cause of depression is the chemical imbalance theory. So why can we not change that balance and keep the balance right? Various vitamin deficiencies and other deficiency conditions require taking medication but at least it works. What's so different about depression if chemical imbalance is the cause? So that's not the answer. The next step is psychological counseling. The way it is practiced it takes years to work effectively. Learning routines for managing thoughts, motivation, tiredness and all the other ills of depression is ridiculous. Depression is called an illness, so where is the cure? This roller coaster of good and bad days just reinforces all the negative feelings. Don't get attached to the good days because a bad day is lurking just round the corner. I don't want to spend the rest of my life forcing myself to get up in the morning, do chores, exercise, eat. I want to get up feeling great, happy to be alive and generally enjoying my life.To enjoy the feeling of solitude without dreading being alone. To be equally happy in the company of family, friends, work colleagues and all the people who come and go in our lives. Sitting on my backside believing I am worthless despite evidence to the contrary is a waste of time. Being aware of our various faults is fine. Being consumed by them is not. And yet we are urged to think about the past and find out when we were injured in some way so that we can 'come to terms with it'. Why not be taught that 'bad things happen in our lives' and then learn to forget them and live in joy and wonder as we were meant to. Why do we not care for each other when we get sad? 'Oh no', we're told. 'You've got to do it on your own'. If you break your leg you get a cast of some sort put on. Get crutches to help you walk. Possibly have some hospital care. People help in the home, physios work their magic on your leg and eventually you walk unaided again. So where's the support for mental illness. Well you get periodic counseling from people who have no experience of the condition. Family and friends are too scared to even ask how you feel much less accept that you are unwell. And that's it. Mary

Olivia_Pope Sick of myself
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone or anyone, today is another one of those days where I am not feeling well (mentally). I'm always feeling sad and anxious about things and I hate it. Worked today and I had a bad day so maybe it's a trigger. Work can be so stressful. Li... View more

Hello everyone or anyone, today is another one of those days where I am not feeling well (mentally). I'm always feeling sad and anxious about things and I hate it. Worked today and I had a bad day so maybe it's a trigger. Work can be so stressful. Life can be so stressful. I hate it. I'm sick and tired of feeling like this. I'm on medication and I thought I could start cutting down but I'm starting to feel that I cant and what's worse might need yo increase it. I just hate my life atm.

redsarah Really over the top mood swings and impulsiveness... what is it?
  • replies: 5

Hey guys, just wanted to introduce myself here and hopefully find some interesting people to talk to who might actually understand me!My name's Sarah and I have always lived under the shadow of mental illness. My father was clinically depressed which... View more

Hey guys, just wanted to introduce myself here and hopefully find some interesting people to talk to who might actually understand me!My name's Sarah and I have always lived under the shadow of mental illness. My father was clinically depressed which developed into some kind of psychosis by the time I was a teenager. It was incredibly challenging to live with him and I left home at an early age. He committed suicide when I was 19 and since then I have been involved in fundraisers for BB and raising awareness of depression and suicide prevention. Anyway I have always been worried about developing these kinds of problems myself. I am pretty sure I don't have depression or bipolar, but I do have really intense moods that affect my daily life. I find that I will get really upset or really happy over the smallest thing. People always tell me I'm hugely overreacting, and I know I am, but I can't stop it. I only get short moods, like they will last for a day or two and then I will be myself again. I'm also really impulsive and make huge snap decisions, for example I will quit my job or end a friendship just out of nowhere, because I felt like it at the time. I even moved to another country once, just on an impulse because I was bored. Just got a suitcase and flew off and didn't come back for three years. I'm always scared that one day I'll get the impulse to commit suicide. Other people don't do this stuff, but I find it really hard to explain to medical professionals. They always tell me it's nothing and make me feel stupid for going to see them in the first place. My friends don't think there's anything wrong with me either. When I'm in one of my moods they get mad at me and tell me to stop it. I'm interested in hearing what you guys think??

Sun Too Intense, he said. Friends Forever is never true.
  • replies: 3

My first post here. Not really looking for any help / support in particular. I just need to say my thoughts.. Get it out of my head... So it stops swirling around and engulfs me. I lost another friend today, someone that i cared for very much, someon... View more

My first post here. Not really looking for any help / support in particular. I just need to say my thoughts.. Get it out of my head... So it stops swirling around and engulfs me. I lost another friend today, someone that i cared for very much, someone that i loved more than anyone else, someone i thought understood me and would always be there for me. This is not a lost love story, this is real life! I predicted the outcome over a year ago, when we became friends.. Its always the same. I push them away.. Too intense was the final response and that i need to back off from them. I have always spoken the truth openly, i think it saves time, misunderstandings and misinterpretation in my relationships. I ask if im unsure of my effect on friends, i clarify responses and actions to save anxiety and tension. But as always this is the reason people are attracted to me as a friends, the qualities they first admire, a straight talker, not mincing words, always truthful... These become my downfall in the end. My constant need to make sure things are ok, that i havent offended, been too truthful, or tactful.. This is what they end up dispising in our relationship. And they walk away

Double_Trouble Tired of my self destructive nature...
  • replies: 3

I never thought I would join a forum to share my deepest thoughts and darkest truths but this really is my last hope at trying to save myself. I don't want to make this all about my history, like many my childhood was far from wonderful and I have no... View more

I never thought I would join a forum to share my deepest thoughts and darkest truths but this really is my last hope at trying to save myself. I don't want to make this all about my history, like many my childhood was far from wonderful and I have no doubt that it was the early years of my life that set me up to be what I am today. I am now middle aged and lead a completely double life. I do all the standard acting, smile when you should, say the right thing, be supportive and caring, be the go to person for everyone else, the strong, reliable, responsible one who helps anyone with what ever is needed. I am constantly aware of my behaviour, body language, speech and reactions so that I always come across as how I want and NEED to be perceived. The reality is though that I am falling apart inside, everything in my world is a struggle but never will I talk of this, not to my husband, adult children, family or friends (I don't really have friends, never let anyone get that close to me). I spend my life supporting everyone around me and making sure they are all happy and well taken care of so for me it would feel like an incredible weakness to share my problems with them. Honestly, they wouldn't understand, they would be totally judgemental and no doubt quite angry about some things. Which also wouldn't work for me given I hate confrontation. During the last 40 yrs I have done therapy, spent time in a psychiatric hospital and taken the medications. The therapy and meds still continue but are no longer enough to get me through. I have completely ruined my life and those closest to me, my life is one big lie, my husband has no idea of the person he is married to, my children have no idea of what I am, knowing will serve no purpose so that part of me I have been successful in changing but it's the other things I need help with. Behind closed doors i am always in a state of depression and quite suicidal, I feel like my world is closing in on me but I can't share this with anyone not even my therapist. I feel like a total failure and am so so tired. The other thing is that I have financially ruined us over all these years. We have lost our home, have debt galore and are now heading into crisis mode but still no one knows as I can't stop the need to protect them from sadness at all cost. So what do I do from here, my own thoughts are just too irrational so I have turned to you all for some advice beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.