I was rejected before I was born. "A mistake", "an accident". When my
mother told my father she was pregnant he kicked her several times in
the belly in an attempt to abort me. Because I was unwanted I was made
to feel like there was something seriou...
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I was rejected before I was born. "A mistake", "an accident". When my
mother told my father she was pregnant he kicked her several times in
the belly in an attempt to abort me. Because I was unwanted I was made
to feel like there was something seriously wrong with me, even evil,
that didn't deserve to live. So I was always an underachiever and had no
motivation to even try. Always felt like, and was treated like, the
black sheep because I was very withdrawn and quiet. Was always the prime
target for bullies at school, receiving even death threats. So I began
running away a lot, and even though I wasn't breaking any laws the
'authorities' warned my mother that I would be "institutionalised" if I
didn't "conform". So when I wasn't at school being bullied and
threatened I had to be chained with a length of chain locked around my
ankle with the other end locked to a steel post in the middle of the
room. By the time I was 15 I had very little sanity left and was
admitted to a Psychiatric hospital for "treatment". I looked younger
than my age and the authorities, in their great wisdom, put me in with
grown men, and therefore I became the target for every pervert and
pedophile in the place. By the time I was 16 I seriously wanted to end
my life. Thus the life-long depression, anxiety, panic attacks, no
self-esteem, and suicidal thoughts. Whenever I tried to raise any of
these issues with my mother, who is now 84, she would just yell, "I did
it for your own good!" To date she has never said she was sorry and
never will. My conclusion is that I must've been evil and deserved
everything I got, and never ever deserved life.beyondblue's
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issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general
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