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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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elt Feeling Flat
  • replies: 2

Hi i'm stuggling with feeling flat. Flat as a tyre. I suffer with another mental illness which go's hand in hand with depression. Due to my medication I no longer have energy and lack motivation to do anything much at all. I used to have large groups... View more

Hi i'm stuggling with feeling flat. Flat as a tyre. I suffer with another mental illness which go's hand in hand with depression. Due to my medication I no longer have energy and lack motivation to do anything much at all. I used to have large groups of friends which I slowly lost due to my mental illness and depression interfering. Now days I just feel flat with no interest in much at all in life without many friends. Also this flat feeling quiet often leaves me feeling as if the things I have to say are uninteresting or that I don't have much conversation. My self esteem has taken a great knock when I lost friends. Also not working atm has had me find myself without purpose. Is there support groups I can join to build new friendships? What do I do about feeling flat? how can I improve myself esteem?

carlie1177 I'm suffering from depression and anxiety?
  • replies: 2

I think my anxiety and stress stems from emotional and verbal bullying. I took several tests online and am told I have depression / anxiety and possible paranoia. I also need therapy and counselling. That sucks. A few years ago I would've never thoug... View more

I think my anxiety and stress stems from emotional and verbal bullying. I took several tests online and am told I have depression / anxiety and possible paranoia. I also need therapy and counselling. That sucks. A few years ago I would've never thought I would be in this position, but I am. To be honest, even though I've been hurt a lot this past year, I feel it's kinda my fault too. I don't have many friends, and can never find (and keep) a best friend. Last time I found love I left it for career (or new school, should I say). I'm starting to think this is all my fault, and it really really sucks. Bottom line is, I'm lonely and I compensate my loneliness with imaginary scenes in my head, even though they'll never come true. Sometimes I compensate it with astrology readings, always searching for something positive, thus wasting incredible amounts of time. I need to stop. I wish my mind will shut down, like a Power Off button on the computer. I'm a mess. I'm a mess and I need help.

Sense13 I cannot cope anymore
  • replies: 4

I cant do this anymore, i have no motivation, depleated mentaly, always tired, my mind doesnt stop racing, I am diagnosed as depressed, i take 300mg of my medication a day, and somedays i go to 450mg, which numbs me down, but little less anxiuos, and... View more

I cant do this anymore, i have no motivation, depleated mentaly, always tired, my mind doesnt stop racing, I am diagnosed as depressed, i take 300mg of my medication a day, and somedays i go to 450mg, which numbs me down, but little less anxiuos, and feel clamer, I am stressed, it is impacting by work, no motovation. i am tired of being emotionlay abused, threatend, put down, degraded, emotional black mail using the kids and family, accusations of infidelity which I have NOT, and if she doest stop i dont know what I will do... I need help, I have contacted mens line and beyound blue in the past, i do have thoughts of ending, i am stripped of my self, I cannot leave, as money is not accessable, i am denied of access to cash, I do not have a gambling problem..I am alone, the kids are also impacted, my duaghter has her vce exams next week, my son hios uni exams, but the verbalising doesnt stop to me... and i crack it with the words and stuff she says and keep saying stop she doesnt, and then i get out of control and start screaming... i beg her stop to provoking me and inciting me, i just be home from work it I am provoked, and I fall into the out of control mode... then my body shuts down of all the stress and anxiety... she wont let me leave... I am threatened that if I access any amount of funds, I am threatend with abuse and lies to my workplace, takes it out my mother who is bi polar, smash my belongings, which she has already smashed all my fishing gear, and taken the boat engine key... i am treated like a crimminal, I have to justify every credit card transaction and produce receipts, if I dont and get abused verbaly, thats is the only thing I am allowed to have access to is a visa card, by debit card was cut up, my son gets the brunt of it... i am constantly harrassed at work with SMS's which are abusive... I dont know what to do.... anymore

Meeper No break
  • replies: 1

Hey bb friends, It's nearly 1 in the morning and I just sent myself into a stress frenzy. I had a meltdown at work this week and once I'd calmed down I realised I really wasn't happy with the 'support' from my supervisor. Everything started to look u... View more

Hey bb friends, It's nearly 1 in the morning and I just sent myself into a stress frenzy. I had a meltdown at work this week and once I'd calmed down I realised I really wasn't happy with the 'support' from my supervisor. Everything started to look up after that except I have to go and see a doctor and get their recommendation of what to do to move forward. I am partly relieved because I've been trying to get the help I need for ages but I'm also concerned. It's also horrible because my week was going so much better after that and I was doing so much better but I barely got to enjoy it; now I'm wracked with stress and panic because I'm still in a really bad position. No matter how much I do to get ahead it's barely a dent and it's so hard to keep persisting. I feel like I'm almost exhausted and no one will have my back. The hardest part is I have to be happy for the weekend for my boyfriend's birthday. I really don't know how to dig out of it all, there's just way too much. I get sad wondering if maybe I deserve it.

Lilmama2 Do you feel as though it can't be beaten?
  • replies: 5

Going on 13 years of suffering and now with 2 children and a husband being affected I am sadder than ever that I still haven't beaten this depression. I have a great life and nothing bad happens to me and I have no reason to be depressed. Antidepress... View more

Going on 13 years of suffering and now with 2 children and a husband being affected I am sadder than ever that I still haven't beaten this depression. I have a great life and nothing bad happens to me and I have no reason to be depressed. Antidepressants haven't worked for me and the last 3 years of therapy haven't either. I think I'm too lazy to be better because all I do is mope around and stress out over insignificant things. I never do anything to help the situation because I hate myself too much to be nicer to myself. Should I just suck it up and start faking happiness so as not to burden my family any more? I wish I had a medicine that could numb me completely so I was never sad or angry.

Gloria I am lost
  • replies: 33

Don't know where to turn. Feeling isolated and am putting on a brave face for family and work. Have tried to talk to my partner. - who doesnt believe in depression, his advice get over it and stop worrying. Have huge regrets about leaving a job I lov... View more

Don't know where to turn. Feeling isolated and am putting on a brave face for family and work. Have tried to talk to my partner. - who doesnt believe in depression, his advice get over it and stop worrying. Have huge regrets about leaving a job I loved but that was 3 years ago. I work in management with a difficult team and intense deadlines. I feel sick in the stomach as I pull into work. Just turned 50 and have made constant poor choices and achieved little. I know this is very ungrateful of me but it is how I see myself. To top it off I am not sleeping. The anxiety is constant but be is at its worse after miidnight where my heart is racing and pounding. Can't see my GP ... Too ashamed and very embarrassed .

Mares73 Coping with devastation when your life is torn apart
  • replies: 37

Dear friendsThought it was time I got back online & shared what's happened & apologize for not being around to welcome relatively new members. I had hoped this year I would do a lot of healing. But life can be taken off you. My husband who's been in ... View more

Dear friendsThought it was time I got back online & shared what's happened & apologize for not being around to welcome relatively new members. I had hoped this year I would do a lot of healing. But life can be taken off you. My husband who's been in remission from leukemia for nearly five years we've had devastating news that it's back & acute & aggressive.Things have to move fast. Hospitalized from this time onwards for approx 9 months of intensive chemo & bone marrow transplant. Not a good outlook but somehow do I stop my mind thinking of the terrible journey ahead. Telling the kids was so hard. I feel broken in pieces. Try to be managing in front of him but sit up & cry all night thinking how will I get through this? He's just 40 & I hate life it's torn apart & Im alone to support everyone when I'm in pieces & queston can an manage this journey alone.Also the civil case against the Priest who abused me is on my mind. The church have suspended him pending investigation. I haven't even written my statement so lawyers on both sides waiting on me.And how do I get through all this & give my kids as much support as possible, watch my husband deteriorate & visit him everyday not knowing if he will survive, get through a traumatic legal case about being drugged & raped as a kid and try act normal & strong & be the one who holds it all together? I try to be humble, I try to think of all who face pain but right now I am on verge if tears always, have moments I think I know I'm only holding on for everyone else or I think I'd be suicidal. I'm tired of being told I'm strong. I have a he'll of a year in front of me & I feel like life has stopped, I'm numb yet I'm hurting deeply, I'm weak when I'm going to have to be so strong. And I don't have any real practical support. Once people know they tend to stay away. I have no close friends & where & how am I going to get through this year. I don't want to see my husband get sicker every day when he could die from his white cells being destroyed by chemo & infection or what if there's no donor or he doesn't respond to transplant? How do I relive the abuse & trauma I went through as a young girl by a Priest I trusted how do I get justice & can anything help give me justice? Money? That doesn't come close to redemption. My husband asked me to promise I'd keep going til I got some forms of justice.I am alone, terrified, no support.Friends-Neil, John.Geoff, GA & all I need you.Mares beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Braxiatel81 New here and need to unload
  • replies: 8

Hi Everyone,I'm very new to this forum, first post in-fact. I need to share what I've been going through and I thought this might be the place. If this is posted in the wrong place i'm sorry.I'm 34 and married to a very understanding woman whom I hav... View more

Hi Everyone,I'm very new to this forum, first post in-fact. I need to share what I've been going through and I thought this might be the place. If this is posted in the wrong place i'm sorry.I'm 34 and married to a very understanding woman whom I have three lovely kids with. I've lived with depression and anxiety since high school but have only been seeking help and received a formal diagnosis for the last 2 years or so. I started medication, reluctantly, last year with some results. I stopped feeling sad all the time, I didn't get angry at the drop of a hat and then bottle this anger up. However, something clicked in my head and went off the medication cold turkey last Christmas. It was unpleasant to say the least. I never really felt better after going off the meds but I lied to my concerned wife. I didn't want to tell her the only reason I went off the meds was because I was gaining weight. I reluctantly went back to my GP, with my wife, early this year and went back on medication....a new type...My doctor was working closely with me to help me through this. He has been really helpful. He sent me to a number of clinical psychologists and other psychologists. He believed I have bi-polar. Once again, reluctantly I went along...I stopped going to the physiologist the previous year because I felt uncomfortable talking about things. Anyway, I went along to told that I didn't really have depression of any form at all that It was merely my personality with some anxiety and that he doesn't think medication will help. I came out of the appointment upset, angry and unsure of where to go and what to do. I still feel that way....helpless and and hopeless sums up how I currently feel. I immediately went off my medication and havn't been near my GP since. I feel like an absolute idiot. Since going of the medication things have gone down hill yet I cant bring myself to admit this to my wife. I have a woman at work I talk to but I don't feel like I can continually talk to her as I don't want to overburden her.I needed to share this with the hope that talking to others about it might make me feel a little better.

Sadmumma A mess again
  • replies: 3

Crying uncontrollably, trying to hide that from my husband as he gets so angry when I'm depressed. I'm continually told me & my mood wreck everything. That his life would be so much better if I wasn't in it, waiting formal dozen to work, got myself o... View more

Crying uncontrollably, trying to hide that from my husband as he gets so angry when I'm depressed. I'm continually told me & my mood wreck everything. That his life would be so much better if I wasn't in it, waiting formal dozen to work, got myself off my antidepressant at the beginning of the year but have crashed again after the ridiculously expensive & eventually ineffective "natural" paleo diet. I hate living like this

tebrown Unsure; 10 years of coping
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I am looking for some unbiased feedback on my situation. I am a happily married 24yo mum of 1 (mum of 2 in Jan 16). When I was 14 I was sexually abused by my step brother for a month whilst on a trial custody agreement with my Father and hi... View more

Hi there, I am looking for some unbiased feedback on my situation. I am a happily married 24yo mum of 1 (mum of 2 in Jan 16). When I was 14 I was sexually abused by my step brother for a month whilst on a trial custody agreement with my Father and his new wife. Instead of confronting the issue, he sent me home to my mum. I have not dealth with this issue and it still effects me to this day, even though I can't verbalise how so, nor can I remember much of the incident. After 8 years of not acknowledging it, I did my own research on my state of mind and I landed on PTSD, depression and anxiety. I grew up with an unintentional tough love environment so I learned to cope but in my bad months/years I would be unmotivated, I would self sabotage, I would go every day with a lump in my throat feeling like I was a complete failure. I would feel sick but not actually be sick, I would be constantly irrational and inconsolable, crying at the drop of a hat some days and not even been able to utter a word on others. After becoming slightly independent at the age of 21 I felt more in control of my state ofmind, especially when I met and married my husband. My anxiety (not diagnosed professionally) was ever present but I was in control. But due to current circumstances I feel back at square one. This time I am worried as I have a 11 month old baby, a baby on the way and my husband to consider. I don't want to be an absent mum even though I'm present, I would never forgive myself. I know I will lose my husband if I don't make him understand or fix it. I feel myself slipping into a mood I can't shake, I know I'm slacking off on my duties but I can't bring myself to do them and whilst I want to leave the house and be pretty and motivated, I can't even bring myself to brush my hair every morning or brush my teeth once a week. My husband doesn't understand through no fault of his own but I feel so embarrassed and pathetic trying to explain it. I feel like I'm lying or exaggerating or I'm not explaining it right and I sound stupid. I just want to know that I'm not just a failed, unmotivated person and that maybe there is actually something wrong that I can't control or get rid of. My brain is so scattered I can't put two words together or stay on one train of thought. I don't know what to do.

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