Depression and Anxiety plus being unemployed

[Lilybett]

I'm nearly 20 and havent had a job since I was 17 due to my mental health.

I have depression plus social anxiety and agoraphobia and haven't been able to go for a job as I am always so terrified but when I don't go for jobs I feel depressed because I feel like a failure at life.

I'm attending part time studying at the university and that is going well but I'm also on Centrelink for my mental health but they don't classify mental health as a long term condition and therefore I have to apply for jobs.

I hate being put under pressure and feel nauseous whenever I have to deal with Centrelink now as I'm so scared they will tell me I just need to get over it. I already had a meeting with a nurse at the Centrelink who told me that she can cancel my doctors notes that say I can not work for the next 3 months if it continues to happen.

It's not that I don't want to work/volunteer its just that some days I'm not reliable to come into work as my depression doesn't let me get out of bed but then other days my anxiety doesn't let me even catch a bus in fear of something happening that I cant control or help.

Please somebody help me make sense of all this because I'm feeling like a failure and pathetic.

[Unbeliever]

Tough one.

Unfortunately, at Centrelink you are dealing with the result of people that are abusing the system that would normally be in place to protect genuine sufferers like you.

I wish I could tell you that one day this will cease to happen, but unfortunately the fakers will increasingly try to take advantage and in response Centrelink workers will increasingly be doubtful of peoples claims.

Your depression (despite sucking) in the long run will likely be the lesser hindrance in gaining and maintaining employment. In fact, in your case I think that once you are employed a significant chunk of your depression may cease, because if I'm interpreting what you are saying correctly this is a big reason contributing to you doubting your worth.

The social anxiety is much harder to compensate for. Medication can possibly help with this, but it is important for you to analyse and find your "triggers"... what specific sets of circumstances trigger your anxious feelings. This is an important to know intimately by heart because only then can you compensate by avoiding or minimising your exposure to your own personal triggers in day to day life.

Additionally, learning to anticipate when you feel anxiety coming on and learning "calming" techniques can be extremely useful. Kind of like meditation, but more practical like going to a quiet place away from people, closing your eyes, controlling your breathing, calming your mind and learning to slow your heartbeat.

I know that sounds like some weird spiritual buddist crap. But it is actually quite practical in application, and will be extremely useful to you once learned and perfected.

Your agoraphobia (if that is what a doctor has officially diagnosed you as) is probably the most difficult of the 3 to compensate for.

Although you might just "grow out of it" one day, unfortunately you can't just rely on that happening. This is likely to require a long term strategy.

You didn't say what you are studying, but I hope that it's for a job that does not require constant daily direct human interaction. That could be problematic for you in the long term.

There are many well paid professions that have minimal direct human contact that would be worth investigating. Certain jobs to do with computers is a good example, data entry, security dispatch positions etc

In the short term these types of positions are worth looking into as well for a job/volunteer to get centrelink off your back.

I hope I've been helpful and good luck to you.

[White_Rose]

Dear Lilybett

Hello. A warm welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. We are here to support you on your mental health journey and to assure you we do understand how it feels for you because we have travelled that road ourselves.

Unbeliever has written a tremendous post and certainly covered all the points you raise. I would like to talk about other difficulties you have. I am not sure that someone who is unqualified can cancel your doctor's certification. Not sure how you can find out but maybe someone else will be able to answer that. It seems a bit silly to try and frighten you into getting a job when you are already distressed.

Depression, social anxiety and agoraphobia, that's a big load to carry. May I ask who gave you this diagnosis? Which leads me to ask if you are receiving any therapeutic services. Has your GP referred you to a psychologist or psychiatrist? It seems pretty obvious to me that you need some assistance from one of these people. How does that feel? Do you think you would be too nervous to talk to someone?

What are you studying at uni? Will this help you to get a job? Do you feel nervous about going to uni? I am wondering what it is about going for job interviews that is different to going to uni. I imagine you come into contact with more people than going to an interview. Do you think it is because there is so much riding on a job interview?

If the interview is making you nervous because so much is dependent on it, can I make a suggestion. Who do you know that can give you a mock interview? One of your tutors at uni, a friend, what about the uni counsellors. Have you spoken to them? I know it's hard to talk to someone you don't know, especially when you need to ask for help.

When you are in these situations does it help if you keep reminding yourself how pleased you will be if the job is offered to you. I remember interviewing someone who was as nervous as you. She was very teary and could not speak at times. But she made herself attend the interview and tried her hardest to talk to us. We, the interviewers, accepted she was incredibly nervous and changed the way we spoke to make her more comfortable. And she got the job, partly because she demonstrated she was trying hard.

I'm not saying you do not try. There are occasions when I have stayed away from something because I could not face it. So I suggest you focus on getting to the interview site until you are actually sitting in the interview room.

Out of space. Please write in again.

Mary

[ScaredMonkey]

Hi Lilybett,

I'm in the same situation, although I am 28, so don't feel that you are falling behind or running out of time.

You’re not a failure. We cannot pick the challenges we face in life. Once your mental health is under control, you'll be able to pursue your goals. Don't expect to be able to do everything now; you'll get there gradually. You need self-compassion and to be a friend to yourself. A true friend would never call you a failure.

If you can, consider taking 3 subjects at Uni so you are full time. You can work on your mental health in your own time and jobsearch at your own pace.

It's common to experience fear and worry when dealing with CL. It's important that you stand up for yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel unimportant/undeserving. Knowing your worth can make you more assertive. It does not work to be passive or aggressive with CL.

I don't think you need to worry about the nurse. You don't usually see the same person twice. The next person may be more sympathetic. Consider bringing a support person next time. They are less likely to treat you badly if you have a competent adult with you.

The most important thing is to work on your recovery. Suspensions exist to give you that time and space away from job searching. Realistically, if you need years and you are really struggling, consider applying for the DSP. You'll need a clinical psych or psychiatrist to support your application.

What has helped me so far is (1) seeing the psych at my employment service provider (she can help find solutions, talk to caseworkers on your behalf, help get you accomodations like gradually increasing the job search hours, do therapy like CBT, etc), (2) having an external clinical psych who can write authoritative letters for CL (free/cheap via GP), and (3) having a sympathetic GP who can back up those letters.

The system will test your self-esteem, so it's vital you resist. It's not your fault you struggle with anxiety, depression and agoraphobia. They're common in the population. If you can avoid dealing with CL, your life will be better. It's not a system designed for young people, so try to get many supportive adults on your side.

Also, part of recovering from anxiety and depression is learning to accept and love yourself as you are now, without a job, status, partner, wealth, or other things society considers necessary before it treats you as a full human being.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

[Lilybett]

Hiya,

My doctor and physiologist diagnosed me as this has been happening for a while.

Im doing a diploma of Family History off campus because when I tried going to the uni campus it was too hard and I started getting physically sick.

I have gone to 5 psychologist since I was 15 and my one now is very good but I've run out of session times with her and it's too expensive to pay her in full.

I have dealt with Depression since I was 12 and was officially diagnoised when I was 14.

I have been on meds for my anxiety and depression but unfortunately they have stopped working (I have been on 3 now).

I know I need to see a psychiatrist and that's probably what will happen now when I go to the doctors and talk about it.

The fact is I still like with my parents and my mother has to take me as I don't have my drivers licience (thanks to social anxiety) and she voices her opinion on how busy she is and how sick of running around she is. It just makes me feel worse so that's why I've waited and haven't gone back to the doctors yet.

I have put in applications for volunteering and have heard heard back from some nice places where I wouldn't have to interact a lot so hopefully that works out

thankyou for comment

[Lilybett]

Thank you, thank you and thank you.

I did have my mother come with me to the interview (my mum can be a bit rude and has rest b face but the nurse warmed to her)

Im currently studying part time because it's an off campus subject so I can't go full time unfortunately.

Thank you for understanding and for your advice, it really helped.

[White_Rose]

Hello Lilybett

Thank you for replying and filling in the gaps, so to speak. I have a much clearer idea of where you are.

I'm doing a diploma of Family History off campus Now that's a course I haven't heard of before. I have been researching my family history for many years and am finding it easier as more records are being put on line. Is this the sort of thing you are studying? Does this mean you can work in museums and do research? Sounds like a great idea.

There is always that debate about psychologists v psychiatrists and the costs involved. Financially the best option is a psychiatrist as Medicare always pays a rebate, though it does not cover all the fee. As you are on a CentreLink payment you will find it quicker to reach your safety net limit. I reached my safety net limit early in the year and now pay $17 per consultation. It's a huge relief. Sadly these conditions do not apply to psychologists other than the ten visits on the mental health plan.

I think you will find it easier financially to see a psychiatrist without the need to stop consultations because of the payment system. However, the best person to talk to about this is your GP.

It is sad that you cannot take yourself to appointments because of not driving. Is there any public transport available to you?

I'm sorry you feel you are taking up too much of your mom's time. Do you think she really means it or is she just having a moan to herself? When my grandson came to live with me I had to drive him to work as he had not got his P. It was difficult as he worked in hospitality so often had split shifts. I was so pleased when he passed his driving test. But this was an everyday job to drive him to work, while you don't need transport every day.

Congratulations on applying for a volunteer role. Do you mean you have been given a job or do you need to go for an interview first? As I understand it being a volunteer means you are not required to go job hunting by CentreLink. I hope that is correct.

I would love to know what your volunteer job is about. I have been a volunteer in several organisations.

Mary