I need help

EON · ‎20-10-2017

So I'm 18 and Ive just started uni this year and for the past 3 months Ive been feeling down all the time, I recently lost a friend during the first part of this year who was a neighbor who was in his 80s who I would help with chores and he would teach me about radio's (because he was a ham radio operator). I didn't realized how much it would effect me because I think this has piled on with the stress of uni. Recently Ive just been feeling get these waves of feeling really depressed and think about how I dont have anyone to really talk to and that no one really understands me. Normally it happens on the weekend and I would be able to push it aside by he week when I need to interact with my friends, but recently it crept over to the week and I think they are noticing because they told me I looked a bit off. I dont want to talk to my parents or friends about this because I feel they would treat me like I'm crazy.
I just need someone to talk to to help me figure this out.

Mathy · ‎20-10-2017

Hi EON and welcome to the BB forums 🙂

You landed in a friendly and supportive space, so well done for making that choice.

As you are at Uni, there will be counselling services available to students - usually though student services or the student union if there is one. These services are confidential, as they are staffed by practising mental health professionals, who have to abide by the same rules as those outside of the university system. These counselling services are usually free of charge.

Losing a friend at any age is a very difficult experience. Your neighbour sounded like someone who you bonded with, and you shared each other’s lives through you helping him and him teaching you about something which is quite rare these days - that being ham radio. At 80, losing him as a friend is a bit like losing a grand parent.

Of course, you’re now approaching the stressful time for uni students, with exams and assignment deadlines looming.

The fact that you could push your feelings aside during the week, and now they are giving you a hard time during the week, is a sign that they need to be dealt with - they are taking up more and more space. So a visit to a counsellor, who can help with strategies and probably a referral to a GP if you need some medication to help you through this time, is you first priority.

If you check the main menu for the BB forums, there should be a heading for the young people’s threads, perhaps pop in there and have a read. There’s also the BB Cafe - which is the social space, quite a few young people hang out in there.

And you are always welcome to talk here, this is YOUR thread and, an anonymous and safe space, and I’d like to hear how you’re doing, all the best, cheers M 🙂

millieisabelle · ‎20-10-2017

Hey there,

Sounds like you've been having a tough time. Especially if it's been a gloomy time for 3 months that's an indicator that things aren't great. As much as uni should be a happy and social time, it's totally ok if you need time to just be alone and process things. On the other hand, if what you need right now is just to distract yourself with everything and anything then that's a perfectly fine short term fix.

What you really need is someone to sit down with and unpack everything, I imagine you have a lot of heavy feelings that are tough to sit with. As said above, a uni counsellor is the best option (and most often the cheapest), they would be the best person to redirect you to what is best for you.

It also might be worth seeing your GP, they can refer you anywhere or talk about the best options for you. They also would have the best understanding of how it all works financially (if that concerns you).

Sometimes it's daunting opening up to your friends, but it may surprise you that a lot of the time people have had experiences that you had no idea of and can actually be really great to talk to. But also, if they are close friends they will care about what's going on with you and even if they can't offer the best advice they can listen and make you feel heard. A good friend will just be there for you and sometimes that's all it takes.

Please keep me updated, I'm so glad you reached out.

There are so many options and pathways for you. The help is there and you are not alone.

EON · ‎20-10-2017

Thanks for the response, I really needed to hear that.

I might go and have a look and see if there's anything at the uni to help me next week. I've been putting off talking about this for a while now and I could sort of tell it was getting worse, its just been too hard to talk to anyone any of my friends about it without seeming like I overvalue a friendship.

again thanks

EON · ‎20-10-2017

Thanks for the responses, I really needed to hear that.
I might go and have a look and see if there's anything at the uni to help me next week. I've been putting off talking about this for a while now and I could sort of tell it was getting worse, its just been too hard to talk to anyone any of my friends about it without seeming like I overvalue a friendship.
again thanks

EON · ‎20-10-2017

Thanks for the response, I really needed to hear that.
I might go and have a look and see if there's anything at the uni to help me next week. I've been putting off talking about this for a while now and I could sort of tell it was getting worse, its just been too hard to talk to anyone any of my friends about it without seeming like I overvalue a friendship.
again thanks

EON · ‎20-10-2017

Thanks for the response, I really needed to hear that.
I might go and have a look and see if there's anything at the uni to help me next week. I've been putting off talking about this for a while now and I could sort of tell it was getting worse, its just been too hard to talk to anyone any of my friends about it without seeming like I overvalue a friendship.
Again thanks