Hi guys, has been some time since my last post in 2015 (!!!) ... I've
kind of found myself in a 360 mode where I have returned to the head
space of not knowing what to do with my life. In the last 2 years I have
built a wonderful personal life, and s...
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Hi guys, has been some time since my last post in 2015 (!!!) ... I've
kind of found myself in a 360 mode where I have returned to the head
space of not knowing what to do with my life. In the last 2 years I have
built a wonderful personal life, and sadly recently fallen out with some
very close family members of which I was at the end of incredible
betrayal (over my recent wedding a couple of months ago), but have tried
to turn this into ammunition to be a better person and do better with my
life. Currently I am working casually, really enjoying it but there's
not a lot of hours to go around. I knew this when I signed up. I just
wanted a physical job with less stress so I could "try figure out my
life". Prior to this recent job, I worked in a full-time role for 3.5
weeks which I did not like at all, and felt very uncomfortable in,
however now I am left with not earning enough to pay my bills, putting
stress on my husband and myself because I simply cannot get my act
together. I want to work, I just don't feel like I have it in me to give
a company my 'all', and lets face it, starting up some sort of study is
going to keep me from earning money - I have thought about this option
in great detail, but I have studied about 4 times before and always
dropped out... I am really starting to resent myself and wish I knew
where to turn, where to go. I'm unfortunately claiming bankruptcy in a
couple of months, which I have emotionally come to terms with. I'm now
looking forward to it, to eliminate the background stress in my life...
I suppose all I can really put my thoughts and feelings down to is I'm
annoyed I can't "hold down a job" or figure out what I want to do. I
simply do not feel like I have the energy to work a full time job as
stupid as that sounds, and staying in this casual role that I'm in now
is not going to get me anywhere. I know it is a simple solution of
applying and getting into something else, but what does someone do when
nothing sounds good, nothing interests me and for a lack of a better
term I cannot be bothered working at all. I have NEVER been like this in
my life. I am so strong and independent, and have had many many jobs in
my time. But for some reason, its fallen on me like a tonne of bricks
and if I don't do something shortly I will go down with them.