I feel nothing.....

[Dinky1234]

I am reaching out with the hope that someone else may be in the same prediciment I married a guy, who I met at Uni we had things in common at the time. We had a pretty good first 5 years of marriage, until his father died, their family business was in a dire stituation, they eventually had to claim bankruptcy.We had a baby in the mix of all of this, so I was tired, our daughter had reflux and food allergies, so I was sleep deprived and not in a great place, I felt isolated and lonely. My GP diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. At the time, I was so upset, I was actually offended when she first suggested that I had a problem. So I decided to start taking the prescribed medication, I put weight, close to 10kg, drank excessively at functions, made a dick of myself in a quite few instances. I finally pleaded with my GP that I was stacking on weight and not well, and she reluctantly changed me to another medication. I felt slightly better on this, sleep was welcome, but I felt nothing, I hated that feeling, so I just decided to stop taking medication, eat properly and stop drinking. My husband is away this weekend and he left his iPad on the bench, click the home screen to google Peppa Pig and "My wife is not remotely interested in me." Subtle! At first I was angry, I thought far out cut me some slack. Then I thought he is probably right, I feel we are drifting apart, I no longer trust him. I no longer even feel like being intimate, which is where his frustration lies. He excessively gambles owes thousands on credit cards, he is secretive and took a margin loan on our home loan to buy risky startup company shares, which are not performing. Our account called me when he compiled our tax returns, to inform me that he thinks he has a gambling problem.I was shocked when he showed me the transactions on his credit cards. I feel like he is heading down the same track as his father and it scares me. Sometimes I think I should just leave, our daughter is the only thing that really stops me, she loves him dearly. I am stuck feeling nothing for the person I share a life with, I don't think I love him anymore, and I feel we would be quite possibly be happier apart. I tried to leave him once, he put on such a performance, called my parents and made out my depression is the problem and every time we have an argument it's always my fault.I know I probably sound like poor me, but not really sure where I should start. Any adivce from the community would be greatly appreciated.

[demonblaster]

Hi Dinky 🙂

Well done opening up and welcome to a great supportive place

Doesn't sound like you're in a good place where yous are at atm aye. I was compulsive over 21 yrs with Pokies, it took many hits at rock bottom and I mean rock bottom to finally get off them and stick with help from GA. I can't speak for hubby but it may be the same.
Excellent the accountant letting you know his concerns.
Gambling was like cocooning, I was in a very loving relationship but realise now it was probs an out for the depression with BP (Bipolar) & all the nasties it throws at ya.
Like drugs I guess it takes you away from problems but of course what we don't acknowledge is the probs it causes. Been off em bout 13 yrs.

You have here as you know & was thinking do you see a psych of any sort which you can start the ball rolling with seeing GP could help you unravel thoughts too. Entirely up to you what ever you feel comfy with.

Sorry how you feel

All best Dinky

[Psycho_Fairy]

Hi Dinky

Sounds rough! But you must be very strong to deal with it all, along side depression.

A lot of very well meaning people I know fall into the trap of interpreting OUR moods for us, it must be easier to blame the depression/chemical imbalance rather than accept that you may not be happy where you are.

I know it's terrible dealing with the circus our loved ones can sometimes drum up out of panic, but stick to what you feel will help you. Can't afford to think about anyone besides you and your beautiful daughter!

Hope that's helpful in some way 🙂