Hello Nickii,
I was drinking for a while, because I wasn't coping with things well beyond my ability to cope with. I was overwhelmed and wanted to blot out what was going on in my head. Didn't work. & the things I couldn't cope with were still there. I spent money on the alcohol for nothing.
I was depressed, had been for a long time. I was prescribed an anti-depressant and told I could drink a little. I thought, no, I would want to still drink much more than a little. So I stopped drinking all together.
Those things I was not coping still were problems. Some were not MY problems, I had to realise. I could not be in any sort of relationship with one person who was the source of much of the problems.
Other things I have had to sort through more slowly.
It's been many years since I have had any alcohol. I (mostly) don't miss it. It's been harder dealing with the expectation that when in social situations I am expected to drink - "Come on, you can at least have one. It won't hurt you" from others around me, or similar. I think the attitude that drinking is so normal is changing, though, and people are now more accepting of those of us who do not drink. I have had milkshakes in pubs! I caould hardly believe it - like a dream come true.
For me, though, my problem was not so much about fitting in and seeming to be comfortable socially, because I simply didn't want to. The pressure to be sociable was more difficult for that reason. I got the message there was something wron with me.
Just by the way, alcohol itself is a depressant. It might give you the impression of feeling good for a while, but inevitably. your thinking is not quick and alert, but rather, it declines, becomes confused and irrational. Other effects on the body are well recognised as well.
It seems you want to be social, so, what if, instead, learning some new social skills? Are you able to
talk about that with a therapist?
mmMekitty
