depressed and eating

[Tamrby]

I accidentally went cold turkey on therapy. The person I was seeing suggested that it would be better if I saw someone who specialises in eating stuff, the thing is when I told my parents my mum was okayyyy but my dad flipped out at me and he said I need to stop making problems for myself so I have kind of just closed off about getting help again, I feel guilty like I do just make problems for myself. That was a few months ago and I feel myself getting bad again at first it was just my self image and eating I guess but I feel myself feeling hopeless and bad and worthless again, i think I might be depressed again.  Because I struggle with my body image and food and stuff its also causing me alot of anxiety because I want to go to the gym alot but its just getting harder to get out of bed and because I cant I feel really guilty. I think trying to deal with this alone has exhausted me but I am scared to stop, that I will lose control and I will be disgusted by myself even though nothing I do will actually make me feel good enough.

I am seeing my old psychologist next week so I guess I will see what my next steps are I am hoping she can talk to my parents because she tried calling them but then never followed up and so I had to try explain alone what I felt and it was really hard. It is an on going battle in my head i know what is right and wrong sometimes but it feels like my body is sending me a different message.

sorry for how long it is I just really cant talk to anyone about this, I have a lovely girlfriend but obviously can only share a bit because no matter what anyone says I am really a burden to her and I make her anxious and worried with my feelings so its probably better to just deal with it myself.

[ABC01]

Dear Tamrby,

I just wanted to say I read your post, and I applaud you for getting in contact with your psychologist again. When you feel like you can't get the support you need from the people you think should be there for you, it can be quite challenging and hard. But you have made that step to reconnect with your psychologist and that is something you should be proud of. You are proactively trying to take care of your health.

I can empathise with not have the motivation to do the things I once liked or think I should start doing. It is just hard somedays. That is okay.

Your person may be right. Anyone who specializes in a specific field, and you are going through that, maybe a better pick for therapy. They would be up to date in the field. But it is also about what you are comfortable with. And there is no reason to say you can't see your psychologist for overwhelming emotions to begin with, then search for someone in the field you need, when you have the confidence too. Small steps at a time.

I also think you are really brave for talking about this here on the forum. Alot of people come to read, and your post may speak to them too. You are not alone here.

Wishing you well,

ABC01

[sconee]

hi

i completely understand how you feel about wanting to go to the gym all the time but also not having the motivation to and then feeling guilty that you haven’t. I struggle with the same stuff and totally get how horrible it feels. I’m nowhere near a trained mental health professional so I can’t give any good advice but I just wanted to tell you that I understand what you’re going through and hope you feel better soon. I promise it does get better and it is worth sticking around and trying to recover. I know it’s hard but you will get through it ❤️