Dazed and confused (and increasingly sad)

[Bigboy31]

Hi all,

Got a few things going on that has me quite shaken and not knowing what to do. Need to disclose right at the top that I have had battles with clinical depression on and off for my entire adult life, however the issues that are affecting me now are not those I've experienced previously.

I am in my mid 40's, and been in a job for the last 15 years. However, the last few months have seen me no longer happy with the work I've been doing (no real surprise considering how long I've been there). There is also no scope for any career progression or options amongst any other teams within the business for me to explore. Also, there is a person in my team I have issues with as she has exhibited bullying behaviour toward me and left me feeling like I no longer belong. Considering the team I am in only has 6 members, this is a major issue. If you are wondering, I have reported this to my team leader and he has had a word with her, but that was right before we started working from home due to COVID-19 so no idea whether anything that's been said will make things better. As this person is getting more and more responsibilities within the team, I suspect not.

So, I am in a job I no longer enjoy doing, and even if I was working in an office still feel extremely isolated and just feel I have to get out. However, I have nothing to go on to (in part due to our current environment), and don't have enough funds to survive without employment for an extended period of time. Therefore, I feel like I'm stuck. Do I stay where I am, putting up with everything I've mentioned just to ensure some sort of job security and a steady income, or do I leave that bad situation behind and risk not getting anything for months or worse, years.

That is my dilemma at the moment. Not expecting any help on this, but if anyone has constructive ideas on this that would be great to hear.

Thank you for reading.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Bigboy3147, welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're glad to have you join us here. 

We're sorry to hear about your experience with depression and how greatly it has impacted your adult life. We also sympathise with how upsetting and draining it can be to have an unsupportive workplace. Having a cooperative workplace is very important to overall happiness. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.
We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it. 

[Volkerballoon]

Hi Bigboy3147, thanks for sharing your story and dilemma.

I'm sorry to hear about the bullying behaviour of your teammate. With the COVID-19 disruptions affecting lives, having a teammate like that is the last thing anyone needs! However, I appreciate that you took it upon yourself to report the behaviour to your manager. I truly think that takes courage.

Your dilemma is a tough one, especially with the 'rona making things more complicated. One method that has helped me in a pickle is listing the potential risks and consequences of a choice, and thinking if these risks can be handled if they arrive. For example, on the money issues after quitting: will the government support be enough to support living? If not, can expenses be lowered? Let me know what you think of this. 🙂