A year ago, I was in France at the end of a Europe trip - she contracted Sepsis, was hospitalised, but got a medical escort home. This was scary for me, as I had already lost my dad at 7 years old when he drowned in a beqch rip trying to save me.
I had begun talking with a girl on a Catholic dating app, and we had hit it off very well in messaging, a 4hr date, and a ministry event, having shared very intimate and vulnerable things about oir lives (the above for me, for her the loss of her Grandma and growing up withoit her dad). I had not realised that the dating app, despite being paid, had a 4-in-a-row msg limit. A mutual friend made her aware, but then came 1 week of silence, followed by an accusation of sharing personal things aboit her ro him, which was not true.
I sing in various church choirs throughout the diocese, while she resides on a different ministry.
Due to all the combined grief, I got a counsellor.
The friend that reached out then got the silent treatment for 2 months, and it appeared she had ditched him (I think she may be an avoidant). This seemed unfair and insenitive as his mum was hospitalised, and then his aunty died not long afterwards. He revealed to me that the story of my dad overwhelmed her, despite her saying he was a hero and that it was beautiful and moving I want to be like him as a dad - this landed on me as I wasn't good enough for her because my dad is dead. She had also previously prayed the rosary for my mum.
A few months later, she attended the same catholic house party i went to. I opted to stay silent when she mentioned to others she's met me before, because I had exhausted trying to resolve misunderstanding by this point. She then hooked up with a decade long friend of mine (touching, flirting, invite to ministry event) infront of me, which against the backdrop of unresolved tension and family grief she knew of, was hurtful and insensitive. I didn't react at the party, as I knew I could reach out to my friend and warn him, which is what I did, but in the moment to protect him, I felt the "F U, your dad, and ur mum, and I'll cuck you now" flex alongside my protective instinct.
I spoke to my counsellor about the behaviour dynamics, then the host of the party, whom praised me for keeping my cool, and is now not pleased with her. I am surprinsgly close friends with the host now after this, but they are unsure how to approach her - me and my friend considered going to diocese safeguarding, but we don't think they'd act.
