Hi Mikaela!
I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm almost 17, and I'm also suffering depression. It took me many months to let people in, and even to this day, I still hate telling people what I'm going through. It makes me feel weak, and I hate feeling that way. I never really had my mother, and I no longer have my father anymore. That left me with my aunt, and even now, she still doesn't know the full story. When I told her what I was going through, all I pretty much said to her that I was no longer happy, and we went from there. If you're crying and not acting yourself, I'm sure she already knows thats a clear sign of depression.
I know you are scared of hurting her, and you don't want her to blame herself for how you're feeling. And I know that you might also find how you're feeling as silly? My best friend has recently been going through what you're going through. She has some family issues, but overall, she does have a pretty sheltered and happy life. She has family and friends who love her, and a boyfriend. She's been having bad thoughts lately, but she finds it stupid how's she's feeling. And she said to me 'I don't know why I'm even complaining.. People have it so much harder than me, and here I am getting upset over little things.' At first she refused to get help, but slowly I have convinced her to go see a counsellor. She's still in denial on how she's feeling, and not even her mother knows. I'm the only one. She feels weak, and she doesn't want people to think she can't handle things. I think in that sense you's are fairly similar. Mikaela, you are a beautiful girl, honestly. I know your probably getting tired of hearing 'It will get better' and 'There's light at the end of the tunnel'. But don't give up hope.
Let people in. Even if it's the same as my friend, and you only let one person in, such as a close friend, it's better than nothing. You mentioned you have loving family and friends, well use them! They're there to help you. Don't feel embarassed, please! I went through everything you're going through, so I know how you feel! Everyone has their breaking point... There are people in happy and loving marriages that all of a sudden become depressed without really having any triggers. It's not embarassing, and it doesn't make you weak. When you eventually overcome this, you will be so proud of yourself.
Get back to us though. xx
