An Autistic Complex & Chronic 50+ Case Dealing with Vulnerability

[Ponder]

SHEDDING THE LABELS AND DELUSION: 

School & employment are long gone for me and not something I ever really fitted into. In fact, every aspect of society and all it's competitive ideals have only ever disabled & rejected my family & I.  [systemic]  A prison within in a prison. That said, I give no acknowledgment to the charges or authority yet find myself bound by the many who give tribute to said controls.  It is on this level that much exploitation & suffering feeds back into that convey belt system driven by an economic standard that saps the soul.

Be thankful?  Know they place?  Yet more controls?  Or just one's reality that can never be fathomed by those who've never navagatid your depth of pain.  Yes, definitely the latter.  So it is, that advice rarely leads one to water unless discovered for self.  Lest all else just revert to instructions, to repeaters, the above atriuters, leading to a dependency on behaviour modification algorithms based on the previously mentioned economic standard; that saps the soul.

From point A to point B living in a complex system that designs complex labels for simple beings who see such things. Yet I am not my labels despite being treated as a disease.  Vulnerable; YES. 

LIVING WITH VULNERABILITY: 

Isolation & exploitation constantly feeling and attracting negative states and traumatic incidents; involving self and others.  Becoming a soft target on all levels, all phases and within all aspects of said prison/existence/living.

Automated responses from multiple mental health diagnosis/s & or prescription/s less of an issue when contrasted to societal conditioning driven by fear based ideology with said soul sapping economic narratives that dictate the tellings, repeaters and advisers. 

Once the cosmetic gloss losses it's appeal, you grow older, become less valuable, less desirable.  You become more of a target for those who see all of the above, disgruntled in their failings to achieve what the behavioural mods instruct. 

[therising]

Hi rx

I sometimes think how beneficial it would be to have mental health professionals focus somewhat on lessons in returning to the simple life. So simple yet captivating, the flames within a potbelly stove. So incredible how fire has a life of its own. It's movements are mesmerising, even as a single flame atop of a candle. Imagine that, a psychologist saying 'You're homework involves you going home to meditate on a candle flame, to find the power in this form of life. Shift your mind back to the flame, every time it (your mind) wanders. Keep doing this for 15 minutes until all your mind can focus on is the dance of the flame'. Of course not a meditation to solve all the problems of the world, simply one to take you out of thinking, for a matter of minutes.

And painting, the advice may be 'Do not try to paint anything, just put your self into that canvas. Make your mark, whether it be yellow, red, blue etc or all combined. Paint it all black if you wish, with a tiny dot of while in the centre. Call it 'The light at the end of the tunnel' if you wish, just make your statement with a canvas and paint. Feel yourself making your mark, whatever that mark may be'.

So many simple things we used to love, as kids. Painting, drawing, visiting nature, stopping to smell flowers, going on a swing or down a slide (which I still do on occasion, at 52), watching the magic of fire or the nature of the clouds or a sunset. The list goes on when it comes to the simple things in life that we may grown out of meditating on.

You've inspired me to write a 'to do' list 🙂

[Guest_1584]

Hi rising .

Thought l wrote something about MH and them trying to bring their patients back to the simplicity , nature, anything, but it seems to have disappeared or maybe l deleted it getting the word count down- but yeah, they should be.

Funny that beautiful simple little pot belly that we'd built was prob the nicest thing about living there.

Painting wise ahhh , l've quit. But what your saying is a prob for some painters but nah far from it for me. l'd never painted for anyone well except my w sometimes and l painted her a lot too. l didn't need to find or try it wasn't that . My prob was l had too much to paint, it'd take 10 lifetimes . You'd go into waves and things subjects imotions anything whatever my thing would flood in so much even after working 12hrs straight , it'd keep your mind racing for days or wks sometimes mths. So much to do but only one lifetime.  So hard on you and hell on your loved one, it basically ruins and steels her life too and your life together bc all you can think about is your art and works you just can not wait to do- if only there were 100hr days instead of only 24.

That's the switch you need to find if your a painter the way l was- others struggle finding one thing to paint l had 1000s.

lt's SO nice to do the simple work again. 

rx