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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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A_Bit_Of_A_Pickle Im tired of fighting my mind
  • replies: 7

I've had anxiety for years, and had the occasional bout of depression because of it. Had gotten a lot better. I was able to live my life. I moved overseas started a career as an esl teacher and everything was great. I thought I was great. Then corona... View more

I've had anxiety for years, and had the occasional bout of depression because of it. Had gotten a lot better. I was able to live my life. I moved overseas started a career as an esl teacher and everything was great. I thought I was great. Then corona hit and I wasn't able to visit home so I decided to come back for a year to see my family. I feel like this was the worst decision of my life. I was alright for about 2 months and then I was hit with a big wave of depression and anxiety and I am SCARED. I don't want to fight this again. It's now been 6 months since I was back and I am tired of fighting every Demon in my mind. It feels like I've achieved nothing. All these negative thoughts keep running through my mind. Telling me I'm a loser. I'm old. I'm worthless. I have no real career. I've never been loved. I've never been in love. Never had relationship. Almost 29. Only ever had one stable job. Lazy. Unmotivated. A freak. Ugly. Incompetent. Unless. Nobody wants me around. A burden. A virgin. Almost no friends. No money. No super annumation. Will die alone. These thoughts are almost constant and I fight them. I really do. I tell myself I'm awesome. I have friends (the only 2 I talk to regularly live far away) who think I'm amazing. My family loves me. My dog is dying. I feel like I have nothing. I recently started a job, but it was extremely stressful and the people were awful to me so I quit yesterday. I've thought about doing more study and I want to go back overseas but I'm scared that I will get stuck back in this depression and won't be able to get back out. I went to my doctor as soon as I've felt this way, but it has been 3 months and my appointment with a psych is still 2 weeks away. I'm so lost and angry that this is my life. I'm so angry that depression and anxiety has robbed me of so many experiences and I can't help think it's all my fault. Please tell me I'm not the only one. I can't fight this by myself anymore. It is eating me alive. I'm scared that I'll become suicidal. But I want to live. I want to live so bad. I just don't know how. How do regular people do it? Everything is an effort and im TIRED.

Sasquatchion Realised I don't want kids
  • replies: 9

Hello all, I am not exactly in a position right now to HAVE kids (23, Male), nor does my girlfriend want kids right now (21, female) but I have come to the crushing realisation that I don't want kids. I have always wanted to be a Dad. I love kids (st... View more

Hello all, I am not exactly in a position right now to HAVE kids (23, Male), nor does my girlfriend want kids right now (21, female) but I have come to the crushing realisation that I don't want kids. I have always wanted to be a Dad. I love kids (studying to be a teacher) and yet I cannot think of anything worse than having a kid like me. My parents are both super supportive of my mental illness and I adore them for it, but I can't help but think they feel guilty about how I turned out. Clinical depression runs in the family and I have seemingly gotten the brunt of it. I understand that depression and anxiety never really go away, but can be managed with medication and therapy (both of which I am partaking in) but some days I wish it was gone and I was normal. I can't fathom having to put my theoretical child through something like that. Having to think every single day that they are wrong or that everyone is doomed to fail for them. Overthinking every unremarkable thing that ever happens to them until they're a mess. Have their relationships constantly questioned and strained because of overwhelming anxiety. My girlfriend doesn't suffer from any mental illness (lucky!) so I know that our theoretical child could potentially be fine (barring non-biological factors) but the thought of it has turned me off ever having a biological child. Thanks for listening to my rambling. Cheers, Sasquatchion

LesleyM Calling older single women facing challenges
  • replies: 12

Hello All ... I am new to BB but so far have been blown away by the responsive support. Thank-you BB team. Now down to 'my reality' facing an uncertain financial future at 66 years of age and not coping at all well with the situation I am currently i... View more

Hello All ... I am new to BB but so far have been blown away by the responsive support. Thank-you BB team. Now down to 'my reality' facing an uncertain financial future at 66 years of age and not coping at all well with the situation I am currently in. I have no family and have struggled with depression all my life. This has been a challenge for me and in some instances those around me... often my behaviour/reactions (so extreme ... outbursts of anger out of frustration with myself) have sometimes astounded me. I am one of those people who onlookers would say 'has it all together' but inside I have felt a fraud most of my life ... aka .. "if they really knew me they would see my faults as easily as I do." The journey is fraught with overwhelm and lots of tears. I know from my work that there are lots of senior women out their doing it tough ... financially, emotionally, physically. If they feel like me they feel like they are the only ones walking this path. I am learning something monumental from the journey this time around (nothing ever been this big for me in that past I have to add) .. I have let 'people in' and I have reached out ... hence being on this forum... the result has been overwhelming .. I still have a challenging future but I know I am cared for (have to say this makes me cry even more)... I had to let people in... the right people... with the right intuition, words, compassion (not one of them has said "it'll be alright"... people with depression know how much this means) I am not a person to blame others for what has happened to me ... or what I think they 'have done to me' .. However, the hurt runs much to deep ... and because I have struggled with self-compassion all my life it has been hard to shift the hurt. I am annoyed with myself for letting people and incidents from the past keep hold of me so vigorously ... I look forward to my BB partnership/friendship ... Have to go now because the tears are getting in my way ... Sending love to all who need it .. you are so deserving of it..

Guest_236 i never used to be an angry person, help?
  • replies: 3

i used to be really good at hiding or pushing away my feelings; i was able to present as the sweet, calm, introverted and compassionate person i am at my core even when i was at rock bottom. but recently (past few months) i've been very irritable and... View more

i used to be really good at hiding or pushing away my feelings; i was able to present as the sweet, calm, introverted and compassionate person i am at my core even when i was at rock bottom. but recently (past few months) i've been very irritable and bitter and impatient during depressive moods. it makes me snap at the people over the smallest and dumbest things, but then the anger is followed by a wave of self hatred for not keeping myself together and for making my loved ones feel bad (usually my bf). i used to think that the cause was the negative energy from my father's house. i live between houses and used to spend 50/50 between my mum and dad. my dad's household is really negative, and i tend to get stressed and anxious and overwhelmed there, which was why i thought it was the cause of my out bursts. im sure it was/is a big factor, but now i am living at my mum's house majority of the time, only visiting my dad for the weekend every couple of weeks since im busy with year 12 and online learning, and i still find that when i get into depressed moods i become very sensitive and bitter. maybe its a good thing that i'm becoming more emotional and expressive, maybe feeling angry rather than numb is a sign of progress. but i don't like not having control over my feelings, i don't like hurting the people i love, and i want to be who i am at my core. do you guys have any suggestions, tips or techniques on how to be more proactive when it comes to negative and hostile emotions? what to do when i feel such emotions arise? thank you !! tea

Baljit My Thought For Any Day
  • replies: 4

Tomorrow, will come, but first just enjoy today

Tomorrow, will come, but first just enjoy today

Sheesh No feeling
  • replies: 7

I am wondering if it's common to have no feeling.... I don't feel sad, more matter of fact that there's no point.... Honestly think family would be better off if I wasn't here...no enjoyment for anything... apathetic about self care. Cynical about ev... View more

I am wondering if it's common to have no feeling.... I don't feel sad, more matter of fact that there's no point.... Honestly think family would be better off if I wasn't here...no enjoyment for anything... apathetic about self care. Cynical about everything

Ryan2021 Feeling lost
  • replies: 4

Have posted in the relationship section recently but I am struggling a bit. I was in a long distance relationship which consumed my life. The amount of love for her was huge, everything I lived for was to be reunited with her. This recently ended. Pr... View more

Have posted in the relationship section recently but I am struggling a bit. I was in a long distance relationship which consumed my life. The amount of love for her was huge, everything I lived for was to be reunited with her. This recently ended. Prior to this pandemic my life was travel, concerts, comedy shows, sporting events. This is now all gone. I missed my girlfriend so much I took up gokarting which is something I always wanted to do because it gave me 10 minute blocks where my mind was clear of everything. It made me happy and got me out of a loop of work and sleep with missing my girlfriend at every waking hour. Now in lockdown my gokarting has been taken away. All I have is work. Now my job is talking about forcing vaccines so as someone who doesn't want to take it for various reasons I might now lose my 2 jobs I love. I worked in a bar with great people and it was another anti-depressant being with them. Adding to things... my house recently got sold and I have 3 weeks to be out. Can't do inspections due to lockdown and am scared to sign a new lease in case I have no work. My family is all in SA and I am considering going back there but the border crossing stuff is overwhelming. I used to be so carefree and happy in life but now it is all seeming too much and I am scared about what the world has become

Peace_Lilly My boyfriend wants space while he’s depressed but I need to be with him when I’m depressed
  • replies: 4

My boyfriend broke down to me for the first time (hasn’t anytime been anywhere near tears), admits he’s not doing well and doesn’t even know why he’s crying. I made sure of course he wasn’t a danger to himself which I definitely believe. As I know ev... View more

My boyfriend broke down to me for the first time (hasn’t anytime been anywhere near tears), admits he’s not doing well and doesn’t even know why he’s crying. I made sure of course he wasn’t a danger to himself which I definitely believe. As I know everyone is going through the dirt at the moment, as have I been. For me, to get through it I need to surround myself and I want and need to be with him. He’s the opposite, he needs his own space and basically we don’t see each other at all. I was open that if he needed a break from us etc. then we can do that but he said that was the last thing he wants. When he broke down the other night, it was the first time I ended up leaving his place in our relationship (earlier than I was suppose to- I was suppose to stay the night). I made sure he was okay before he left and of course I understand that sometimes in these situations you need your own time. By the time I got to my car, he called me and cried that he wanted me to come back. so I came back and he just asked if I could stay a little bit longer. I don’t know what to do

thisisalongshot Looking for advice
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, This is my first post so please be nice.. I have a pretty long and complicated mental health history but now as long as I take my medication I’m generally fine and have been for years. The last year though has been tough. I’m seeing a pe... View more

Hi everyone, This is my first post so please be nice.. I have a pretty long and complicated mental health history but now as long as I take my medication I’m generally fine and have been for years. The last year though has been tough. I’m seeing a perinatal psychiatrist for monitoring while my husband and I have been trying to conceive. I’ve changed antidepressants as we thought the old one stopped working. I don’t have any issues with the new antidepressant but I’ve been taking it for about 3 months and I don’t feel any different to before - I’m still depressed despite the medication. My psychiatrist isn’t concerned and doesn’t care when he sees me next. I’m pretty high functioning and have a good job, I’m the breadwinner, but I’m struggling to work a full week or even a full day. I still meet my KPI’s but I’m worried that’s going to change if I don’t do something. I’ve been WFH and feel like isolated and disconnected and stressed re work. I’m currently pregnant and don’t want to go into the office due to cost and COVID risk. I’m barely excited about having a baby even though we tried for a long time and had fertility treatment. I couldn’t even get excited about getting my bonus which I worked hard for for over a year and is quite the windfall. I’ve been avoiding my friends and they’ve started to pull away as a result. I generally spend the weekend in bed or on the couch. Chores are ignored and I eat a lot of takeaway. I know I should go out and be more active but this is how I most enjoy living at the moment. Lockdowns are like giving cigarettes to a lung cancer patient, I know it’s bad for me but I can’t help but love it. I’ve had tonnes of MH treatment before and feel like I know all the strategies they’ll give me. I don’t enjoy talking to people about my problems. I did see a therapist recently but all she wanted to talk about is my history and issues I was treated for many years ago (anorexia and PTSD). I found it insulting and nosy frankly. I no longer have flashbacks, nightmares etc and if anything I’m now overweight. This post was to ask for advice but it’s turned into a bit of a vent too. What things, other than medication, do you do to improve your depression? How do you work up the motivation to get better? thanks so much to anyone who reads this and especially those who reply.

Sydsider should I quit my job ?
  • replies: 4

45 male, married with 10 years old daughter. Lost motivation for everything! Work, WFH at the moment, but no energy to do anything since 2 months ago. No passion, don't want to turn on computer in the morning, stay in the bed until 11 am sometimes. E... View more

45 male, married with 10 years old daughter. Lost motivation for everything! Work, WFH at the moment, but no energy to do anything since 2 months ago. No passion, don't want to turn on computer in the morning, stay in the bed until 11 am sometimes. Even if I am sitting in front of computer, I can waste my whole day doing nothing. If I keep dragging on, will fail my whole project team. Feel extreme bad and guilty, as I will be affecting other team members. that is the main reason I am considering quit. I don't want colleague to know my MH issue. Family : Married 13 years, separated 6 years ago, both then she move back 10 months later. Still share same commitment of raising daughter. Sleep in different rooms, handful of sex per year. If any argument, I will take all words and walk away quietly. Seems normal marriage, but no more real communication, so I am kind of dead inside. In deep of my heart, I fear she might leave after our daughter become independent. When I am in low mode recently, she is doing more 80% house work (I appreciate a lot) She don't know GP had refer me to see psychologist for depression problem. if I quit my job, very likely she will be made about it. Myself, Nothing really interest me, man of no hobby ! No smoke, no drink , no sex, no happiness, no hope , no nothing ! Job is now source of pressure , not achievement anymore. I do have some saving + investment income to support my life. Problem is with me clearly, because I am way to soft. And I am keep day dreaming without any action!!!!! I was keen traveler, but she never like it. So I changed and live the life she preferred. I like social with friend, but she didn't. Now I have almost no social life, and I kind of lost social skill now. (so does my daughter, she is replicating mom. Killing my last hope.) I celebrate their birthday mother's day etc, In return, I am Getting no gift nor even a hug for father's day. Overall, what is meaning of being myself as a human being ????? In my current life, there is nothing I really want, nothing I really enjoy. Should I quit the job as starting point ?