An Autistic Complex & Chronic 50+ Case Dealing with Vulnerability

[Ponder]

SHEDDING THE LABELS AND DELUSION: 

School & employment are long gone for me and not something I ever really fitted into. In fact, every aspect of society and all it's competitive ideals have only ever disabled & rejected my family & I.  [systemic]  A prison within in a prison. That said, I give no acknowledgment to the charges or authority yet find myself bound by the many who give tribute to said controls.  It is on this level that much exploitation & suffering feeds back into that convey belt system driven by an economic standard that saps the soul.

Be thankful?  Know they place?  Yet more controls?  Or just one's reality that can never be fathomed by those who've never navagatid your depth of pain.  Yes, definitely the latter.  So it is, that advice rarely leads one to water unless discovered for self.  Lest all else just revert to instructions, to repeaters, the above atriuters, leading to a dependency on behaviour modification algorithms based on the previously mentioned economic standard; that saps the soul.

From point A to point B living in a complex system that designs complex labels for simple beings who see such things. Yet I am not my labels despite being treated as a disease.  Vulnerable; YES. 

LIVING WITH VULNERABILITY: 

Isolation & exploitation constantly feeling and attracting negative states and traumatic incidents; involving self and others.  Becoming a soft target on all levels, all phases and within all aspects of said prison/existence/living.

Automated responses from multiple mental health diagnosis/s & or prescription/s less of an issue when contrasted to societal conditioning driven by fear based ideology with said soul sapping economic narratives that dictate the tellings, repeaters and advisers. 

Once the cosmetic gloss losses it's appeal, you grow older, become less valuable, less desirable.  You become more of a target for those who see all of the above, disgruntled in their failings to achieve what the behavioural mods instruct. 

[Guest_1584]

Hi Ponder

Very true about the web and we are all mostly def worse of for it, but people don't see that either. The overload , and as you said the deception , the instructions and yet by who ???? that so many just take in no questions asked- l ask , l ask who is that wrote that, are they some specialists or supposed expert , or were they just somebody stringing out their ideas of the way it works for those gullible enough to take it as Gospel. lt's mind boggling to this day just how far and wide no questions are asked about just who it is telling the story or giving the advice. Blows my mind.

As the labels , the numbers , the bureaucracy, the govs, the teachers doctors skrinks power company, is all such a in humanity now, sad stuff l put my head in the sand, no choice, it's either that or watch it all . And it spreads all over the web and by the web to and the analyzing going on my God - you might notice everyone has a narc in their family or they're married to one or dating one these days or their best friend is one for example, just to name one nice neat little label. They've found a nice little test on the web somewhere ticked some boxes and that's it, narcs everywhere.

Sadly , it all flows through to the places and people that are suppose to organize or help us too and we end up feeling like your feeling, been there given up myself.

So rare to find some help that isn't about labels forms or numbers these days isn't it.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Excuse the typo's but just to correct one , the loss in humanity. l just find that one of the saddest and most frustrating. People will surely complain about trying to call the power company or bank or someone else these days but sadly don't see the rest of it.

To me one of the worst things about the web and also these computer times, is the need for all the numbers and labels and the ability those two things give the whole world to just go on creating and storing even more of them and giving those to us and the tabs on us all. And then they need more of them to keep our info secure and by the time they've finished with all that- we're out of time.

l've noticed a huge decline in common sense, in the senses and even in simple human interactional understandings these days and that flows through into the lack of in any help people might need too. Half their training, often all of it, doesn't even involve human interaction anymore. Most lot of it can be done on a key board at home. No wonder so many in MH help don't seem to have any understanding or real connection.

Sadly that's all so common even just within the world overall too, people and life  these days l find and even more sadly in growing up now.

rx

[Ponder]

Hi rx, [Rare indeed]

Beautifully said. Great recognition. Was nice waking up to your insight. Thx for that. 

I’ve come to see 98% of the WWW as a network where depersonalization transforms people into relay stations.  Yet, let’s not discount the power to be found in that 1%.  I mean not the 1% sending out the code but that 1% still able to hear and see like we do; regardless of the dysfunction, names & labels.

I remember a time I use to follow the weather reports and seek out locations to make better use of sunspots, cloudy days and climbing trees with wire in hand to better enabled the reception my portable shortwave radio.  Now all this time later Elon Musk sends up his falcon 9 rockets on a weekly basis with starship on the ready to deploy 400 sats per launch… intended to blanked the Earth in excess of 42+ thousands SATs. I’ve concluded back long before most of us were born, with the running of cables crossing the transatlantic, that the programming back then amounts to much of the same thing. People being transformed into repeaters but more so with gossip peering over their newspapers and textile books.   The only difference I now see, is the speed of conditioning and mass affect; how more easily people be influenced. 

Worth a Note* SWR is basically dead and what stations can still be picked up are very much indoctrinated [no disrespect to those who live by faith which imo can be a thing with self and fellow beings] which for me highlights a paradox & consolidates the obstacles many of us see & struggle with throughout all time in whatever world.

So now I take the 98% + 1% + 1% switching off completely to ALL concepts that abound and commonly sold.  To be sure will come a time we’ll be arrested for not listening as ostracization already takes place for those not tuned in.  The white wigs of this world have scorned me and many like me from behind their bench using the term ‘… head in the sand!’ I’ve seen my daughter and many others victims of abuse subject to the same powers that be whom project with a venom that cuts deep and scars for life as they uphold their absolute authority.   

I’m all for the head in the sand … but much prefer water; preferably no sharks. Not an issue if they are well fed and I’m not feeling scared… : D

I now read your next reply and respond soon. Have not forgotten about narcs [not enough text]

[Guest_1584]

Hi again Ponder , and thanks for that.

l wasn't sure if any of my rant made much sense as l'm dyslexic and have a bit of trouble getting all the T's and i's and sentences crossed haha , just a minor detail in the big picture to me.

Musk God all mighty, tell me about it.For what good he's doing in speeding up the GW response, at the same time he's speeding up the polluting of space and overloading humanity at 10x the speed of www now with his rubbish like AI. Not to mention the new waves those 1000s of sats are going to be smothering our planet , air and senses with. As is the www stuff isn't moving fast enough, those thing will all be sped up 100x to now.

Like l said to someone the other day, it's always one man. Hitler, Putin, Musk, Jesus, yaknow. lf Jesus was real then thank the Gods for that one at least, right.

Funny , not , you talk about all those cables and pipelines yeah. As if they weren't enough of a worry polluting and damaging our oceans and environments, joining countries in ways they weren't meant to be joined. Sadly it's moving to the skies now and the air around our minds and senses.

Haa, we use to use coat hangers they picked up pretty good.

That 1% , yeah , it's sad stuff, l know. And so unless some of that 1% had a Musk type of money, mind power and MH, time, to give it up their life and instead spend it traveling the world and speaking really loudly, enough to be heard over and somehow out spend too , the other 99% well. There's a few, like that teenager, Greta l think it is, poor girl butttt, unfortunately it'd take a helluva lot more to stop much now.

The transforming ha, yeah. The currents from that red button is at the speed of light  reaching almost every mind on the planet, it's only a few yrs away.l feel so bad for our kids and theirs and theirs.

Need some sand .

rx

[Ponder]

The elaboration on evolutionary mechanization being a systematic approach to depersonalization were those who perceive freedom, become oblivious to the subjugation of 24/7 influence in a cyborg age [globally networked wearable tech - implants now available - with next gen going from decades to yearly]  facilitate all manner of impulse gratification, CBT, tracking and overall hive mind manipulation, where those seemingly resistant quickly become targeted to the process of demoralization… [AKA Perception/Deception Management] is as you allude very sad and frustrating. Policies & legislation across the world being centralized as part of that dehumanization. We should be permitted to express as we do before being too quickly ‘redirected’. We would do well to become our own authors and question despite those that police as they do.

Self-Policing/Narcs: … Before acknowledging your concerns with such, allow me to dispel the mediarized demonizing buzz term → ‘conspiracy theory’. I would say my opening points have become well known as facts disclosed by the very network I’ve been highlighting.  A pro Vs the many cons.  Yet, I’m very much in line with your thinking that such deluded freedoms do more damage than good.  I’m as much amused by government cover-ups on topics now being disclosed by well-known Australian Jouno’s like ross coutlhard on the topic of UFO’s now called UAPs. Once a topic people were laughed at for its mere mention.  Interesting times indeed but more in context with deception, sheep, turning tables and public distrust and those too quick to dismiss with their self-policing.  I’m sticking with the ostriches tending to their eggs with head in the sand.  Much more stable mindset if you ask me. : D  Their offspring tend to be better adjusted as a result.

I admit I have struggled with the concept of Narcissism.  I usually do with words that are used often to belittle others. I understand it’s a legit term to outline negative patterns that deal with being very selfish.  The algorithm in said network seems to the be basis in which people are strung along in an attempt to fuel it?  I would love to hear more about your take on it before I tackle it. 

Like I think I could be part of it with respect to my own ego?  Something I am always struggling with. Yet I sense there is more malice in it?  Apologies about my one track mind.  I would like to know more when you have the time. Please.

[Ponder]

Just a quick note to let you know my response was more about your mention of narcs but I kind of struggled to break away from my one track mind and will respond later to your last one as well.  I like everything you said.  I'll be back later.  Just going to chill with mindless stuff for now but YEA ... I am for sure open to keep chatting on like minded things and would love to hear more from yourself and others.

Speak soon and available most times.

[Guest_1584]

Thanks for that and yeah l hear ya , was gonna drop back tonight or tomorrow finish off.

The narc thing was just an example of one really, of the most common every man and dog seem to be dreaming up and backyard analyzing all over the web really. Bu yeah l agree most of us have traces of all the labels anyway, dunno why they all get so stuck on just that one.

Funny you mention it all happening as you suspected , same here. To a T really from even back as a kid. l was as much concerned about the planet then as l am it's people now so sorry if l sidetracked onto that one. Just breaks my heart, so predictable even to a 14yr old back then. Use to watch the rockets going off on TV and even as a kid l'd think, but what about all the tanks dropping into our oceans and the other bits left in space. Now of course there's about 1 million pieces of space junk up there and they can't figure out how to clean it up, meanwhile the sat thing is gonna go crazy now. The environment thing and into the planet on the planet and in the space above the planet, has always scared TH outa me and Aliens yeah, l'm embarrassed and ashamed at the mess they see .

Anyway, nice arvo went for a drive and chatting to gf all arvo,my sand haha. She's stuck interstate atm. Hope you've got some shark-less water handy haha.

All the best.   rx

[Ponder]

Hi rx,

I also apologize for my cramming words in.  I usually enjoy freestyle writing, then editing for readability Vs trying to limit myself.  Nevertheless, I did say this aspect might be a beneficial lesson of sorts when starting this thread.

I understand the concern regarding space junk.  I think Elon does to.  I believe he has measures in place to ensure his SATs de-orbit at the end of the ‘useful lifespan’.  Thankfully a term not used for humans at this stage of our evolution; although I wonder at times.  Tracking & propulsion technology has improved to a point that commercial industry will soon be addressing all those bits and pieces. It’s now deemed necessary as the issue is already ‘impacting’ new SATs, space craft and immediate plans for space tourism.  Despite my reservations about the human species and the obvious militarization that governments would rather focus on [including Australia who is very secretive re this industry] I do dream for a better future despite my lack of desire to be part of it.

Elon represents a new chapter in human evolution marketed on many fronts. My concern is more to do with an unconscious civilization where Elon’s Sci/Fi NET will facilitate something like the movie: ‘Surrogates (2009)’. In many ways most people already live like so.  I follow the space industry closely but from a distance.  Strictly observing without much invested emotion. Although I have a perspective to share I try not to get personal with it.  I too am concerned for his view on population ethics and think that facet gives way to the economics that are counter to human values despite his   altruistic claims.  

Regarding Greta Thunberg, it’s hard for me not to get emotional but I have since been learning to control it.  On the other hand, what triggers me in terms of giving up on society, is the way in which other people have little regard for the feelings of others when taking things personal.  People have hash tagged Greta to me when I’ve struggle in the past using her as a negative meme to demean myself and others.            

I’m tending to what @therising says with respect to compassion leading the way and focus on positive things despite my wish to discuss and observes as I do.

We can still help each other stay on track.

Lol – just saw your next reply.  Full respect … I reply in turn soon enough.  Here’s to a good evening for us all.  

[Ponder]

Hi rx,

Yea… motion is good and glad you got some sand.  Hope your able to free up your gf re being stuck. I do what I can to find shark-less water in here. ‘thumbs up’

Backyard Analyzing : D Labels shhmables.  Just another form of currency. Yay & nay. I guess I’ve been directing the symphony that plays out in my head.  

Sidetracks often a necessity.  All roads lead to Rome kind of thing. Although a troubled society that one.   

I much prefer the water, plants, air and soil than the people.  Mostly because people do more to destroy the water, plants, air and soil.  No offense intended. I’ll just blame one of my labels. Social phobia with the query of agoraphobia. Roll Up - Roll Up! …Take Your Pick!  Forgive me sarcasm. 

Yea… Despite the efforts to clean up I can understand the concern that those efforts I previously mentioned are in fact historically outpaced by the human nature every time. Whilst I no longer believe in anything at all, I’m starting to see how the concept of born into sin affects the nature of being human. I ponder how that can have viewed a lost cause.  Like WOE – such a take is a buzzkill and not usually permitted to be expressed without being quickly dismissed.  Often scorned for not presenting the solution for others to have their quick fix.   Now I’m probably off the beaten track but all good, is how I prefer to be … lost in my thoughts without a care for solutions at all. 

Feeling no need to make sense today.  Just writing whatever comes to mind knowing I’m about to run out of space. Laughs out loud. 1,566 chars in and perfectly fine knowing I am nearing my end.

I don’t believe we chose to be here as many would ascribe where such narratives promote shame and blame with no end in sight; least one bows down / lay flat on the ground and worship according to whatever script.

I find your share comforting that you can convey a knowing that you had at such a young age.  Is good if we can not lose sight that.

I’m all for the insights on disassociation from personification but not the worshiping mentality that is also evident in secular society. I now think of the video I feel to sleep watching: YT -  Sri Ramana Maharshi – JNANI

I don’t mind writing without the need for solutions & or write endlessly without meaning. Which also feel just as good. 

[Guest_1584]

Haaa ponder , l use those words all the time , the earth soil water skies nature, some sanity. and wary of people always have been. Finally make a decent friend though a one off and they move or l move , another pattern through my life, weird, given up,

Musko yeah, heard something along those lines and his reusable rockets too, it's about bloody time right.

Worry about him wanting to plug us all into his planet net up in space though and this mars stuff, basically saying earth has had it , not a good look. imagine his creativity and money going into fixing earth instead , as amazing as it would be making it to Mars though nonetheless, hope l get to see it.

But haa risings got the right idea. l don't let myself touch on any of this too much and on bb l actually stay as light as possible and away from brain strain haha, but it all goes on in there that's why l have to stop myself. l suppose some people thrive on heavy convo 24 7 but it just starts me worrying about the world again and heavies me up all over again too much, ignorance even if just in appearance , bliss right.

lf you happen to be in a world forum though which means usually mainly American my God , don't wanna start talking down the wonders of this age, to them, the internet and what it's actually doing , computers either or any form of so called advancement , it'll all be denied and defended black and blue, surprise surprise l know,.

Well you did good in the sense anyway , funny l have that problem too, l'm so restrained here but it does me good being a MH forum which l'm struggling with myself so it's kinda a skim and self preservation thing . Use to read about mainly in things that relate , few threads to though , way too much ranting for my own good though  haha.

Hope to sell this place soon and go completely of grid, my sand haha.

Take care

rx