A bit insecure about how I look

[Earth Girl]

When I was younger, I use to think I was just really boring and daggy looking and I would get jealous of other girls, but one day, I heard some guys calling me ugly and I stated thinking that maybe I was since they were all saying it and I started wondering what made me look ugly and I started wearing a full face of makeup everyday in year 10 and I couldn't leave the house without it.

I'm not as insecure about how I look as I was when I was younger, but I still find my face and body strange looking. I like the color of my hair, but it's very poofy and crazy no matter what I do to it. I have eye bags, strange skin with purple undertones, I think my eyebrows might be too close to my eyes, I have a crack in my forehead, my nose sticks out and my body is shaped really weirdly. I think my arms look okay and I've lost weight in my legs, but my stomach and behind are really big and it just looks really unproportioned and weird to me. 

If you think you look weird, but actually do look weird, is that still body dysmophia? It doesn't bother me as much as it use to if I'm strange looking, but I'm worried that people look at me and must think that I look really strange to say the least.

So many people think I look ugly so I think it must be true. I spend a lot of time dreaming I looked how I wished I looked.

[tranzcrybe]

People can sink lots of cash into realising their dream image of themselves (which is often an image of someone else anyway!) - plastic surgeons love it, as do dodgy backrooms with their chops, lipos, and tucks.
How dull the world would be without the quirks of appearance to truly define and separate us from these walking talking botoxed maniquins? - it's how we are made for reasons consumer marketing will just never accept.
Sadly, none are immune to this messaging and self esteem can shatter like glass with an errant remark. More important is the foundation on which you are built and, despite your remarkably detailed observations, what you see in yourself is not universally accepted by all.
Love your features and flaws in equal measure and so will others appreciate in you what truly matters.

[Emotions26]

Hello Earth girl

Are you the very same who is leaving sound, supportive advice to another?

Dysm…… not a great fan of the latest label. 
Another label sigh.

Females have been born into this world from the beginning of time still not clearly known when.

Developing into all shapes and sizes. 
As have males. Less scrutinised.

S elaborated my thoughts also.

From me.      Believe in you. All of you. 

[Earth Girl]

Thank you both so much!

I get bullied a lot about how I look and just get bullied for everything about me in general so i know that a lot of people see the same flaws that I see, but these people must be really bored if all they have to talk about is how much they hate me. I'll try not to let the way I look get to me as much, but it's just hard having people talking about how I look in such a negative way all the time and not realizing that I can already see what is "wrong" with my face. I don't know why they feel the need to say all these things or how the way I look affects them.

[tranzcrybe]

Bored, narrow minded, insular. What bullies do is often driven by their own insecurities - give them that concession at least! Just don't count yourself among the perpetrators and there will be one less (and the only one that matters) to worry about.

[quirkywords]

Earth girl

everyone is different. I used to be so hard on myself but then get upset when others made fun of my flaws that I disliked.I decided to like myself but it took a long time.

i am quirky and lime that now. 
can you tell me about some of the things you like about your body..?

[Earth Girl]

Yeah, I think most bullies are secretly very insecure in themselves.

I like my hands, the shin of my legs and my eye color so at least I have some things I like about the way I look and I don't think absolutely all of me looks bad.

[Emotions26]

Hello Earth Girl

I am wondering who these people are who  are treating you this way.

They have a very nasty side to themselves whoever they are.

Families can be particularly cruel in many instances.

I grew up having parts of my  body ridiculed by my sister.

Later by people I worked with or met socially  at times.

I started to only wear trousers as they were ridiculing my long thin legs. I felt as though there was something wrong with me.

Many many many years later I worked it out for myself.

Every single person who had ridiculed my legs had legs that were more solid and or shorter.

How we are treated by our family initially can impact on how we react to others in the outside world.

In particular if you happen to have a sensitive nature which I do.

This teasing still happens today for the very same reasons which  is absurd.

Our bodies are one whole part made up of smaller parts. They are a major part of who we are as people.

They help us to survive. They work very hard. They are incredible what they are capable of doing.

I now realise that our bodies are not about how they look;  as others who are dissastisfied themselves want us to think. They are us.

Earth Girl. A complete change in thinking will not happen overnight.

One day though, I am thinking that you too will realise that the people who cruelly teased you are the ones who have a problem not you.

You are spot on. All bullies are insecure.

Jealousy is a huge perpetrator.

We live in an era where outer images and possessions sadly still measure a person's worth in the eyes of those who are not in touch with themselves.

I do like your last response also.

emotions26

[Earth Girl]

Hello Emotions26,

It started off as just a lot of people from school who were really mean and not just in my grade, but in all the other grades as well and one day I made an account and said the same mean things on it that these people were saying about me (calling me a lesbian (I'm bisexual), really ugly, fat, etc) and people from my school thought I was saying these things about other people at school and so even the nice people at school got furious at me and started saying extremely nasty things about me - tearing apart my sexuality, appearance and personality and they would even go as far at to say things such as "she's a chick with a ****" and it's also the nice people in school saying that, not just the people who were mean.

I tried explaining that I was just trying to get people to realize how it is hurtful to say these things and they didn't believe me and said "no, you're just a bitch."

I also had at least one of my accounts hacked and people don't believe me about that either.

Yeah, families can be mean. My family bullied me really badly as well, but nobody from school believes me.

I am guilty of bullying people who were thin and good looking because I was jealous of them so I'm sorry that those people bullied you for your legs.

[Emotions26]

Hello Earth Girl

You are very open about what you have been through.

I respect your honesty about retaliating by mirroring their behaviour.

I can see now that you realise that did not work only served to increase the problem.

Bullies do not go away by being bullied.

Bullies give up by being ignored or directly telling them in a respectful manner that they cannot treat any human being in that way. By doing this you are not lowering your standards to theirs.

Social media I think you might be referring to is a breeding place for people like this.

You have no way of knowing who is real who is honest or anything.

Your health and wellbeing will be better by staying away from social media.

Your choice of sexuality and or who you feel you are as a person is yours to make and yours alone.

Again nobody has the right to treat you so deplorably.

Someone else wrote a post about gender and were referred to another website which I am sorry I do not remember the name of.

I am wondering if you have not already done so, if ringing the helpline might help you with some resources to give you some strategies moving forward.

You have a kind heart.

You reached out to support another.

Please look after yourself and your own worth.

emotions26