Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Eagle Ray]

What mantra does the Cookie Monster say when meditating?

Om nom nom nom nom

[Ggrand]

What did the sea monster say after eating the ship?

I can’t believe I ate that hull thing.

[Eagle Ray]

I love your jokes Grandy 😂

What do you call a bunch of whales who send out interesting conversations with the noises they make underwater?

A podcast.

[Croix]

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a whale sitting next to him.
“Are you a whale?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The whale replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

[Ggrand]

Hello everyone…

thank you Eagle Ray, I also like the jokes on here….makes me

Why does Charles get treated like royalty when he goes in the sea?

Because he’s the Prince of Whales..

[Eagle Ray]

What do ghosts say when they make a mistake?

Boo-boo

[Croix]

How do you make a whale float?

Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a whale.

[Eagle Ray]

A family of spiders joined a circus troupe when the dad in the family got a job as a stilt walker. What did the kid spiders call their dad after that?

Daddy Long Legs

[Croix]

A man comes to the circus director and says he would like to work there.
- What are your special skills? - the director asks.
- I can imitate birds - the man replies.
- Sorry, but we already have someone who imitates birds - the director responds.
- Oh dear, that's a pity! - sighs the man and flies away.

[Ggrand]

A man decides to join the circus.

The ringmaster agrees to watch his act in the big top to see if he is suitable.

The man climbs a tall tower and jumps off flapping his arms wildly. After a few seconds his fall slows and he soars forward, swoops up, turns and stops in mid air then gently glides to the ground.

He turns and smiles at the ringmaster. ‘What do you think?’ asks the man.

The ringmaster looks unimpressed. ‘Is that all you can do?…….

Bird imitations?’