Who do you go to?

[Matt SA]

So I’m 41 and am the person everyone in my family & friends group comes to when they need help. Inside I’m cracking under the pressure & I feel like when I’m pretty much in crisis I have no one to turn to. I’ve been seeing a psychologist and for the most part it goes well - but I still find when the pressure gets high I want to fall apart but feel so completely alone.

[Matt SA]

Thank you for the replies! It’s nice to read them & I feel better just getting some of these feelings out there. It’s been an ok weekend & I’ve been able to manage my anxiety pretty well. I realised yesterday that I feel pressure & anxiety about the things I can control as well as anxiety about the things out of my control.

A real trigger for me is when people are unreliable and don’t do what they say they will. I find it makes me feel sick with anxiety when I’m having to wait for someone else and I stress about being a mean pushy person if I have to continually follow up. Do either of you experience this?

I hope you’ve both had a good weekend & I look forward to reading your lovely responses.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Matt SA.

That stuff is annoying, but I don't even talk to anybody or hang out with anyone so. I'm extremely lonely.

Glad to hear you managed your anxiety though.

[Matt SA]

I’m sorry to read you’re super lonely. I have to admit without my family & friends the anxiety would be so much harder to manage. What do you do to manage yours on a day to day basis?

[Guest_4643]

At least you have family and friends, I only have my parents. And I don't really do anything.

[sunnyl20]

Even though the anxiety is still very present, it can help to identify triggers. I can understand what you mean about others being unreliable - I struggle with this too, and find it difficult to follow up and communicate with them about how frustrating their actions are. You are definitely not alone in experiencing this.

[Matt SA]

Thanks both for your replies; I’m so glad I’m not the only on who finds it challenging managing my feelings when dealing with other people. One of my triggers is just knowing I have to arrange things with a tradie etc. I get sweaty & my heart races just thinking about having to chase up. I have been working on it with my psychologist but it is a tough cycle to break. How are you all doing?

[sunnyl20]

You are right Matt - it is a tough cycle to break, especially when it is how you have thought/felt for as long as you can remember. You can feel like you are stuck in the same merry go round of thoughts, emotions and physical feelings of stress and anxiety... it can feel very difficult to break out of. But the more you stick at it with trying to change how you approach and think about it, hopefully the better it will become. It can feel slow and disheartening at times, and a bit "two steps forward one step back", but keep doing what you can. There is hope that things can change.

[Matt SA]

Thank-you again! It is a bit of two steps forward, one step back. I feel like my triggers can be a moving target; but they tend to nearly always centre around money or challenging people interactions. I sometimes feel my life would be so much better if I were alone on a desert island!