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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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44Max44 Social anxiety is torture
  • replies: 4

So today I went to my best friend's Dad's birthday party that I was invited to a couple of weeks back. I told my best mate that I was hyped for it and keen to drink a lot and have a good time, but really I was super nervous for it, I could hardly sle... View more

So today I went to my best friend's Dad's birthday party that I was invited to a couple of weeks back. I told my best mate that I was hyped for it and keen to drink a lot and have a good time, but really I was super nervous for it, I could hardly sleep, my heart was racing the entire walk to his house, and I was dreading it if I'm honest. My mindset was as long as I drink enough my anxiety will go away and I'll have a good time, it's worked for all the parties I've gone to before this so why wouldn't it this time? Anyways, I get to his house, all is well and good, and I go to mix my first drink. I was mixing it on top of this big keg that his Dad had restored not too long before and didn't want to get dirty, but all of a sudden his dog jumps up onto the keg with her front paws and knocks the drink over. Great, now I'm at least partially responsible for getting coke all over this keg that his Dad doesn't want to get dirty, and on his birthday no less. I know it wasn't my fault that his dog jumped up and knocked it over, but I still feel really guilty. I hate being the centre of attention and my drink getting knocked over made me exactly that (at least in my mind). To top it off, my friend then had to spend 10-15 minutes just wiping the keg off and soaking up all the drink. I felt so bad but couldn't even muster up an "I'm sorry" or "No let me clean it up" because my anxiety is that bad. Anyways, after that, I couldn't get that out of my mind. I kept replaying it over and over thinking that my friend was mad at me or something because of the drink, even though he probably wasn't and knew it was an accident. I ended up 'going to the toilet' several times to just sit on it on it mindlessly doing stuff on my phone, because anything was better than having to socialize. I suck at it so bad and am always so awkward it drives me nuts. I made it a grand total of 2 hours before I made up an excuse of "I'm going to buy more drinks to mix with" when in reality I was just going home. I feel like utter trash lying to my best friend but I just can't take it. I needed to find a way out of there. I'm writing this not even 5 minutes after getting home because I just need to get it off my chest. On the walk home I was on the verge of tears and when I finally got home I couldn't hold them back. I hate it so much. At this point I'm not sure what to do. I want to message my friend and be honest with him and tell him why I left, but I don't want him to think badly of me.

Sam124 What Now?
  • replies: 3

Hi. This is a post a long time in the making... to summarise I've been on a downward rollercoaster for over 16 years (29, male). I'm still not sure what's pushed me to go ahead, but if I was to guess, I would say it's the heightened focus on mental h... View more

Hi. This is a post a long time in the making... to summarise I've been on a downward rollercoaster for over 16 years (29, male). I'm still not sure what's pushed me to go ahead, but if I was to guess, I would say it's the heightened focus on mental health-particularly, the "Listen Days" on Triple M-that's led me to finally say my piece. The guts of my problem is that I'm about as social as Stephen Hawking was an Olympian; while I've had social groups over the years, it's always gone south-in most times through my own fault than others. This is intertwined with my extreme level of negative thinking. At any time of day, my mind can be bombarded with negative memories, as early as embarrassing myself in my 4th grade school concert to as recent as the most minuscule factor my most recent social interaction. While I have a loving family, they are very... 'old school', and my struggles with my sexuality as well as a construed thinking that I can never make my parents "proud of me" prevent me from ever making a proper connection with them in the (foreseeable) future. As for love, I lost the one woman I ever loved due to my own paranoia, and I feel the one man I've loved will simply never understand my predicament. Lastly, while I firmly believe I am good at my work, my social ineptitude has led to me being in dire employment straits in the near future. Please understand, I've 'tried'; I've done the psychology, I've done the CPT, I've tried prescription medicine. I'm ashamed to say I have 'given up' for at least the last 18 months; I am stuck in a purgatory of procrastination... and, ashamedly, other medication (the only thing that has allowed me to sleep at night for the past five years without the preceding hours being filled with dark thoughts). I am not sure what I am looking for in this post; part of me is just looking for someone who I can relate to privately without judgement, part of me is looking for some miraculous solution for it all, part of me thinks while the public has paid more attention to mental health recently (thanks to a global pandemic and prominent Australians succumbing to mental health in the past few years, properly starting with Danny Frawley and most recently Shane Tuck) ALL the "aids" suggest the first step is to talk to a FRIEND. Well, I have no friends I can talk to, so here I am. What now?

Lost_Girl1 Can't move on
  • replies: 2

3 years ago my ex left me because 'he didnt love me anymore'. I later found out that he had cheated on me with his workmates and used me to save money to buy the house that was supposed to be for us. It was a 5 year relationship that I put everything... View more

3 years ago my ex left me because 'he didnt love me anymore'. I later found out that he had cheated on me with his workmates and used me to save money to buy the house that was supposed to be for us. It was a 5 year relationship that I put everything I had into as I had never loved someone like that before. Since then my life had never been the same. He broke me and I am so ashamed I ever let myself be in that situation. I havent been able to open up to anyone because I dont feel I cant trust them. I'm 33 and feel like I have missed out on my life, kids and the possibility of ever loving someone again. I feel like every man who talks to me is just going to lie to me, and I dont approach anyone because I feel like they're going to get bored of me and use me. Its so hard watching all of my friends and family get married and have kids, and then there's me still alone and nothing to show in life. I dont know what to do and its breaking me more. I feel like I've lost a part of myself and I dont know how to get her back. How do I get past these feelings of never being good enough? How do I trust anyone again? How do I trust their intentions for me? The only time I feel strong is when I'm at work, outside of work I go back inside my shell and just pass time until I go back to work. I really dont know what to do anymore and I'm tired of crying.

michael9318 Wasted my life
  • replies: 10

I'm 27 and haven't been employed since I was 17. The period between 2011 and 2016 was a complete waste, I was depressed and too anxious to do anything with my life so I just stayed home. Then at the start of 2017 when I was finally going to get every... View more

I'm 27 and haven't been employed since I was 17. The period between 2011 and 2016 was a complete waste, I was depressed and too anxious to do anything with my life so I just stayed home. Then at the start of 2017 when I was finally going to get everything together my mum died and that knocked me back, then the start of this year was meant to be the year I get it all together, start uni (bachelor of IT), make friends there and all that. Covid hit and my uni was put online but a mixture of anxiety about studying and anxiety over now having it online made me end up skipping term 1. Term 2 starts soon but the anxiety and panic attacks are back again and I don't think I'm mentally capable of studying, so this will be yet another wasted year. I'm 27. Unemployed for almost a decade, basically unemployable at this point. Never got my driver's licence due to not being able to handle the stress of that and now it's even harder. I've missed out on so much in my life because of my anxiety, I've never even had a girlfriend of any kind. I'm stuck living with my grandparents since I can't afford to move out and get on with my life or even at least provide for them. I'm thinking of studying a certificate III in health services assistance in the hopes of being a hospital orderly or something like that now, I'm hoping I could at least be capable of doing something like that. Depending on how studying that goes I might try a diploma or even bachelor degree in nursing. I just know things would be so much easier if I had my mum here to talk to, she was like a friend to me and helped make things clearer for me. I know I need to get help for both my anxiety and depression but I'm just too scared to turn to anyone for help and I don't know what to do. I'm sorry if I put this in the wrong spot, I'm not really in a good spot at the moment and I need to vent.

Marasheedy07 Itchy crawly skin
  • replies: 4

Hey guys, I’ve suffered anxiety on and off for a long time. Recently for the last 5 days or so I’ve had this itchy, crawly, prickly skin kind of thing, it’s not constant but it’s been rather bad today, google makes everything worse of course, does an... View more

Hey guys, I’ve suffered anxiety on and off for a long time. Recently for the last 5 days or so I’ve had this itchy, crawly, prickly skin kind of thing, it’s not constant but it’s been rather bad today, google makes everything worse of course, does anyone else get this or had this and stuff and what do you do to ease it if so? Thanks x

sashlie Anxiety post traumatic event
  • replies: 4

Hi there looking for some advice. I experienced a loved one have a seizure for the first time - this loved one is okay now and fully responsive. However, I have been unable to get this experience out of my head and it’s causing constant hyperventilat... View more

Hi there looking for some advice. I experienced a loved one have a seizure for the first time - this loved one is okay now and fully responsive. However, I have been unable to get this experience out of my head and it’s causing constant hyperventilating and panic attacks (something I have suffered from for 20 years but not constantly throughout the day like recently) any advice as to how I may get to sleep or go by my day without feeling like I need to constantly cry and shake?

Teisha Relationship anxiety
  • replies: 1

Has anyone else ever felt stuck? im in a relationship that I know can’t go anywhere. I’ve been with my partner 6 years, however we don’t want the same things in life (children, marriage etc). I always think about ending it, however every time one of ... View more

Has anyone else ever felt stuck? im in a relationship that I know can’t go anywhere. I’ve been with my partner 6 years, however we don’t want the same things in life (children, marriage etc). I always think about ending it, however every time one of us has tried to break it off, I spiral into an out of control panic attack that doesn’t stop until I cave in a beg to be back in the relationship. I can’t stop vomiting, I feel like fainting, can’t get off the bathroom floor, I hyperventilate and no matter what I try it just doesn’t stop. I went to a gp and got anti-depressants, which has helped with my everyday anxiety, however not with this. I guess I’m just feeling at a loss has anyone else been in a situation like this?

contrarymary Scared of being in house alone
  • replies: 9

I have a number of health issues but none really impact on my day to day life I can still do things I want and 2 days a week I look after my grandchildren. I live with my husband we are in our early 60s my problem is if I in the house myself I get ve... View more

I have a number of health issues but none really impact on my day to day life I can still do things I want and 2 days a week I look after my grandchildren. I live with my husband we are in our early 60s my problem is if I in the house myself I get very stressed and think something is going to happen to me eg collapse. I have never had this problem before but in the last couple of months it has got really bad. All the time I am alone I pace the floor getting more and more stressed. i spoke to my Gp and he did not offer much in the way of a solution. anyone got any ideas, I might only be by myself a couple of times a week for a couple of hours

Tony25 Social Anxiety Affecting Work
  • replies: 5

I chose a role in which requires me to have regular meetings and client contact. Unfortunately, due to my social anxiety, I feel routinely overwhelmed and unsuited for the role. I chose the role thinking I could grow and learn, but 2 years now I cons... View more

I chose a role in which requires me to have regular meetings and client contact. Unfortunately, due to my social anxiety, I feel routinely overwhelmed and unsuited for the role. I chose the role thinking I could grow and learn, but 2 years now I constantly take days off. I don't feel suitable to the work and I regularly feel guilty for skipping work. I feel stuck because of the current covid situation. I also lack confidence because my social anxiety has hampered my work in the past. It just so happened my current role directly involves speaking that makes me overwhelmed. I think the best decision would be to suck it up due to the current situation, but I generally feel like I have lost interest, motivation, and confidence. I am regularly speaking with counsellors and I have a therapist. I feel better for a time, but I go back to giving uo and wanting to leave the job. I guess I am just looking for any advice.

Tilly20 Anxiety ruining my relationship
  • replies: 4

This is my first post so I’m a little bit nervous but here goes. I’ve been in a relationship with my parter for 1.5 years now and she is everything I could ask for- kind, caring, understanding, loving, seriously the most amazing And perfect person I ... View more

This is my first post so I’m a little bit nervous but here goes. I’ve been in a relationship with my parter for 1.5 years now and she is everything I could ask for- kind, caring, understanding, loving, seriously the most amazing And perfect person I have ever met. About 6 months ago I had a few small doubts about our relationship resulting from us going on a short break. We are back together now and everything is perfect except I can’t stop overthinking those doubts- why they came up? If I should just ignore them? Am I just overthinking? I keep worrying that at key moments (eg propsoal, wedding, moving in together) I’m going to have doubts. I hate myself for feeling this way and having these doubts because I’m really in love with her. I have talked to her about all of this and she has been so understanding and said that it’s ok and we can just take it slow. I guess all I’m wondering is how do I work through this? How do I take control of my anxiety and be fully present in my relationship- I love her and I will do anything to sort this out- breaking up is not something I want to do.