Social anxiety becoming more difficult, especially with family events

[gloria10]

Hi,

I wanted to get some advice with managing social anxiety.  I've had a few things on lately where anxiety gets the better of me and I just have to leave, its like I cant get out fast enough. I try to use techniques for my anxiety, but I cant seem to concentrate and get overwhelmed easily.

I can acknowledge i have definitely been more stressed lately due to some health issues and work, but I am trying to volunteer at the moment in order to get out and be more social.

The thing is, with family, although they know I have anxiety I sometimes feel they don't really accept it as I constantly feel I'm being pushed to do more than I am comfortable with and I think there is some PTSD from past visits.  They also get snappy as I'm not behaving in a way they want, even though I am at least able to leave with some dignity 🙂

I have been looking online at counseling, I feel that could really help, but it isn't cheap.

What techniques have you found to be helpful when it comes to managing social anxiety? I don't want it to get in the way of volunteering. After Christmas I also want to focus on my own thing a bit more too.

Thanks,

Gloria10

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

So say you've just returned from orbit, outer space and you are thrown a party. You stand there explaining the feeling of flying around the globe. How many would relate to this experience? Zero. Out of 100 people present, you might get 10 that empathise with your travels meaning they are really listening and 2 that might compare it to a drum machine at a local show where their bodies are glued to the wall as the floor sinks. But none will relate fully to it. The same is for mental health issues because people cant see it. If ever you break a leg and spend 8 weeks in a wheel chair as I did, then you'll see the difference. They see your injury, they see you're disability, they feel your hurt. Not so with MI. Hence why people come here to talk.

Anxiety is usually a lifetime illness unless things change, your environment, relationships, lifestyle, career, working hours and quality of sleep to name several. If you really want to rid yourself from anxiety as I did it could take a long time of persistent actions to promote relaxation and life changes.

The following thread sets that out.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

As for social anxiety lifestyle changes are at the top of the tree, less socialising  in crowds, sticking with groups where you know the people and be absent in groups where abrasive people often attend.  Overall however, the points in that thread above will help out.

As you age anxiety will drop off also. You'll learn to avoid situations that you know will cause you issues.

We also have a good library here, just use the search bar. 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/seeking-the-origin-of-anxiety/td-p/74769

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/meditation-words-of-wisdom-it-helped-me-for-25-year...

TonyWK 

[gloria10]

Thank you very much TonyWK. I like the example you gave how you can explain something that is out there and people will sort of pay attention, same thing with anxiety. It makes a lot of sense.

I am trying to learn how much I can commit to with events and this does help with anxiety. Sometimes I have to go, like Christmas, but i do give myself a couple of days after to rest.

You mention about distancing from abrasive people (I definitely have someone like that in my family) and my anxiety increases when I'm around them as they drink and talk down to me. Its made me concerned about being close to them when they are drunk. It has taken me years to figure that out.

I'll definitely have a look at your links. Appreciate your advice. Best wishes.

Gloria10