Intrusive thoughts

[Toby_Lace]

Hi all, this my first post. Hoping to gain some relief from persistent intrusive thoughts that have taken hold and taken control of my life. I am having troubles dislodging them. I feel if I confess the thoughts I might gain some relief but I also feel I cant tell anyone because I fear their judgement and the consequences of my confession. I feel hopeless and have little joy in my life. I have started to catastrophise about my life and career and my future. I am at a loss as what to do. I want to feel ' normal', happy and optimistic again.

[Toby_Lace]

Thanks, Ulyssess! I might have to practice some seek and destroy tactics. I havent reached the angry stage yet, just very frustrated and sad. I know I have made mistakes in the past and my obssessive thoughts also tell me that that is my penance. On a bit of a vicious cycle at the moment

[Doolhof]

Hi Toby Lace,

One thing with this forum is that we can share how we are feeling and ask questions that we don't feel comfortable asking friends and family as they may not understand us.

I'm wondering if your Catastrophising goes anything like mine:

Husband is home late from work. My mind starts to race away from me:

My husband has had an accident. He is dead. I don't know how to pay the bills. I don't have the combination to the safe. How will I cope. What do I need to do if he is dead. What if he has run off the road and we never find him. How will I cope with out him.

OR: He has run away with another woman, or maybe even a man. We will have to sell the house. Where will I live. How do I pack up a life time of stuff. Who will have the cat. I am worthless. He doesn't love me. My life is a mess.

ETC ETC ETC

Then I look at the clock and it is not the actual time I thought it was. My husband is not due home for another hour!

Where did all of those horrible thoughts get me? Absolutely no where good that is for sure! I know it can take time to get those miserable thoughts under some kind of control, the effort to do so is well worth it.

Hope you manage to find some strategies that will help.

I'm also trying really hard to not keep beating myself up over stuff I have done in the past that has caused pain to others and myself. I can't go back and change any of that. I can try and change and work on who I am today!

Small steps Toby Lace, the effort is worth it! Hope you can break that cycle and get out of that rut.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[Toby_Lace]

Hi Mrs D.

I dont catastrophise about the death of others or myself, although I used to. My thoughts include thoughts of being exposed as a fraud and losing my career and ruining future career prospects and my life more broadly. Fearing what people would think of me. Particularly fearing what my family would think of me and letting them down. I cant go back and change things but I feel I cant move on either. Chronic anxiety and worry about the past has me trapped. I havent done anything illegal! I know how this may sound!

[may86]

HI Toby

II' new to the forum and the reason for joining is because exactly what you've described. I've been battling that same over sense of responsibility for my my actions/possible mistakes. I've been dealing with this plus general anxiety since I was a kid.

Yesterday something happened at work which triggered me again into what I think are panic attacks! I couldn't eat all day, have been completely obsessing abut the issue, unable to concentrate and unable to talk to anyone about it. I've made an appointment to see my GP to get a referral to see someone which I half started a few months ago.

It's good to know we are not alone and hope that you can find some relief soon.

[Toby_Lace]

Thanks, Maybe86. It is good to know that others experience the same thing. You tend to feel very alone in this awful journey. I really do need to visit my GP again. I have some good says some not so good. I have triggers also and often have to disconnect from the world. Makes it hard to maintain a job! Good luck with it all

[Doolhof]

Hi Toby Lace and may86,

Talking to a Dr and getting a referral to chat to a professional is a beneficial move.

My example above was just that, you could add any topic you like. The thought processes are the same. We think of a negative and if we don't learnt o understand how to deal with those thoughts, they exculpate into something that seems almost impossible to change.

Toby Lace, if you know some of your triggers, that is a huge place to start trying to overcome them.

Change can happen, once you know the way to start getting your thoughts and beliefs under control.

It isn't easy, but it can be achieved.

Cheers from Dools

[Toby_Lace]

Thanks, Dools. I am working toward identifying my triggers. I also think I need to talk to my GP. I haven't spent much time with counselling services but I really think I need to talk to someone and talk through my feelings of guilt and anxiety. My daughter suffers from OCD as well and I need to be fully present for her. Thanks so much for responding.

[blondguy]

Hi Toby

Thankyou for taking the time to post back.

Your posts are really helpful for so many people. I noticed that may86 has posted too. Hi May86 and Welcome!

Great to have you as part of the forum family Toby Lace 🙂

My Kind thoughts

Paul

[Anne1303]

Hi Toby

I was reading your post and thinking how exactly it mirrors my own thinking at the moment! I could have just written exactly the same thing you have! My obsessive catastrophic thinking is driving me crazy and I am so exhausted by it all!

[Toby_Lace]

Hi Anne1303,

It is vert tiring and one thing I do do is sleep! Somedays I could sleep all day. I feel tired alot lately. I dont know why I think this way. I am catastrophising over something that I did four years ago. It just popped into my head and I keep going through all these different scripts and scenarios in my head continuosly. Mainly thinking about consquences. My physical health is suffering. Somedays I dont eat because the worry makes me anxious. I cant be present for my family because I am constantly thinking and worrying and rehearsing irrational scripts in my head. I wish there was someway to realease this pressure.

Good luck with your intrusive thoughts. Good to know people are here with you.