Flying

[Chicken_Wings]

Hey guys,

I've been doing pretty good lately. In fact I have felt pretty great over the last week. I really felt like I'd turned a corner.
I have to make a trip to the UK to see my mum who is sick. I've been saving for ages and finally everything seems to be in place.

I've always been a bit nervous flying, but now I seem to be petrified. Until my passport arrived it was sort of just not real, but now there is nothing stopping me going except myself. I'm not so much scared of the flying, although I don't love it. I'm more scared of being stuck on this uncomfortable plane for so long and travelling so far from where I feel safe. 
I haven't travelled such a long way for a long time. I've been to the UK before, but it was before my anxiety was strong.

The last couple of days I have woken up in the morning with that familiar tension and racing thoughts and its made me really sad because I was getting better. I've been doing my breathing exercises and trying to just keep moving forward with my plans. But the more real it becomes, the more my anxiety comes back. I've noticed that I've start twitching again and I'm nervously tapping my toes non-stop.

I'm scared of that racing heart feeling and off freaking out on the plane. I'm scared that once the plane has taken off, thats it, I can't stop it.
Part of me is excited to see my mum and go on holiday. The other part of me is terrified and just wants to cancel the whole thing and hide.
My GP has prescribed me something to calm me. I've never had it before and so I need to try it before I fly to know how it will effect me. 

My boyfriend will be with me and I know I need to take plenty of things to occupy myself. 

I know I need to do this. I know I have to go. I know that once I get there I will be glad I went and I know that I will regret it forever if I don't go.
What I don't know is how I'm going to do it.

Any insights from those who have managed to travel long distances with anxiety would be greatly appreciated.

[Guest_2350]

Happy New Year Chicken Wings!

How are you? I hope you had a good start in the New Year!

I don't really want to remind you, in case you have not been thinking about it, but I was wondering how you are coping with your upcoming trip. When are you seeing your GP again? Can you sit with him and discuss your medication in more detail? Discuss your concerns? What to expect, what to try out...? For me it was very helpful in my recent trips to talk to my GP a lot before the upcoming event and to get comfortable with all medication I had to start taking. I was completely and utterly against putting chemicals into my body and it took a while for me to feel comfortable to take them.

The other thing I found really helpful was to look up a support network in the countries where I travelled in Europe, write down the helpline numbers for the beyondblue equivalent and just set up my "security" net ahead of travelling. In Europe I did not want to ruin anybodys holidays and had not really discussed my issues with my husband, so I tried to stay in touch on the forum here and it was a great support! I learnt that time out for myself, like going for a walk, having a cup of coffee and being on the forum here helped me along the trip.

I have also called the beyondblue number before and I find them very helpful. I find it helpful to talk to a third party, as I can just tell it as it is, without considering i.e. my husbands feelings, like him worrying about me or getting concerned. There are times when I just need a "pick-me-up" where my husband would probably just cancel the complete trip and then be worried for life if I can manage another trip. He is very attentive and caring, but I have told him before that if I stop doing everything because I am worried, I will stay in bed the rest of my life. I need to challenge myself as well. I want to get better.

I hope some of this makes sense to you and please stay in touch and remember it is your choice to board that plane at the end of the month. If it was me I would go through every single step as outlined before with the knowledge that I can turn around at any moment in time (well apart from mid-air) and not cancel the trip ahead of the departure date. It is a risk, thinking about money, but a risk I find worth it for myself. 

Big hugs, Yggy x

[HelenM]

Hi CW,    

Yggy suggested something that I think is excellent.  Throughout the UK we have the Samaritans.  They are there for anyone who wants/needs to talk about anything. Many people think that you only ring them in a crisis and would feel embarrassed to ring. I ring them regularly when I'm struggling. Most of them are excellent. They are everyday people. They have excellent, ongoing training. They are non  judgemental. They are clear that you can ring whenever you want.  In short I couldn't recommend them enough.  

Some practical points.  

Whatever number you ring you will get an answer as your call jumps from centre to centre.  Once I called and I got someone about 500 miles away.  A big distance in the UK.  

Because you usually get a different person you often get different perspectives although they don't give advice.   If you get someone you don't click with you end the call politely and ring, perhaps a little bit later in case you get the same one.    

I have found that some of them are better than trained counsellors.    

Their number is in every phone book but if you rang the Glasgow number you'd get through.  It is 0141 248 4488. If you ask them to ring back they will. 

I hope that gives you a little comfort.     Take care, Helen x 

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Yggy,

Thanks for your thoughtful message. Today I am fearful, yesterday I was fine. 

I have been to see my GP and she has given me a sedative to take to calm me. I am scared of medicine though so I know taking it will be difficult. I'm fine with my SSRI because I've been taking it so long and I'm used to it.

I tried the sedative a couple of weeks ago to see what effect it had, but couldn't bring myself to even have half a tablet. I will try again before I leave.

I will be staying with my mum in the UK, I hadn't really considered how I will feel when I'm there. I had assumed I would just be grateful to see my mum and be safe somewhere with her. I have done an online chat with BB before, I don't really know what to say when I talk to them as they can't really give too much advice. But it is nice to just tell someone when you feel like crap.

I am seeing my psych on Wednesday and I hope to get something out of that.

For some reason nights are easier, as with this morning I tend to wake up shaking and feeling generally fearful. I certainly feel stronger now than I did a few weeks ago, but I know I'm probably only about 65%

I want so much to go on this trip and to feel strong and calm. I'm continuing on, buying things I need for the trip etc. I am expecting that I will go, I know mum is super excited and if it wasn't for her there would be no way this would be happening right now.

[SubduedBlues]

Hi CW

I used to work for the airlines, and I'd like to offer a suggestion for you.

You mentioned that your doc gave you some med's for the flight; that's great as I am sure that will make it a bit easier for you.  What I suggest you do is to let the airline know ahead of time about your anxiety and hesitance in flying. If you ask for it, often they will organize for you to pre-board the aircraft when the aircrew boards (long before everyone else does). This will allow you time to board, be seated, take your meds and settle in for the flight.  Your travelling companion/s can pre-board with you.

I also suggest you book yourself an aisle seat. Where the aisle doesn't allow you to rest your head against the bulkhead like a window seat does, being in the aisle enables you to more easily get up and walk down to the loo. (which you may need to do just for the momentary and brief exercise out of your seat).

Relax and enjoy your trip. The aircrew have all worked with all types of medical conditions on board, you're not the first and they are there to help you through it.

D'

[Guest_1055]

Hey CW

I'm not sure if you will read this, before you board the plane and fly to visit your mum. I am guessing it is about a week now until you go. Just want to let you know that I am missing you. And I am now sending you a hug, in case you want or need one. Hope you really have a special time with your mum.

All my love

Shelley xx

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Shelley,

I've had a couple of days off the forums and I've been feeling relatively good. Thank you for your message, I will definitely be in to let everyone know before I fly out. There is a small part of me which I is getting excited.

[Chicken_Wings]

Ok, the fear is back and I can barely handle it. I so scared I don't know what to do.

im literally waking up shaking. I don't know if I am capable of being this strong, how do I do this?

[Guest_1055]

Hey CW

You will be OK, you will be OK, even though you are feeling so so scared. I am sending a reassuring hug to you now, and hoping it will help you. 

Oh I wish I could stomp on its head, this Mr Fear for you, so you never have to experience this again. I truly do, for I can't stand the thought of you feeling it.

I was wondering, if you aren't to tired to answer, if there was other people in your family line that have similar issues to you?

I too have fear knocking at my door, in my life. Though it is not with the same intensity as yours. For right now I feel an inkling of it within me. I am scared to tell you something, I am scared I will be rejected or something...... Well here it is, God the living, comforting, almighty God is doing something in my life, in regards to the fear that I find myself up against. For He often gently speaks into my very being these words " Fear not, for I am with you, I will never leave or forsake you". I am sharing this with you, for well.... I am not sure of the exact reason. It is in my thoughts in regards to you.

OK with much love

Shelley xx

[Chicken_Wings]

Shelley thank you, your words made me feel so cared for. I wish you could stomp on this fear for me too, I would not wish upon anyone how I feel when it is at it's worst.

I don't know how I will be on the day I am due to fly. Sometimes I imagine myself being calm and enjoying the movies and knowing that I am getting closer and closer to mum. Other times the mere thought of it literally has me shaking. 

Ive just done a bit of activity around the office and feel better, but not 100%. 

[Guest_1055]

Hey CW

Thinking of you tonight, wondering if you are over in the UK now? Sending my love.

Hugs

Shelley xx