Flying

[Chicken_Wings]

Hey guys,

I've been doing pretty good lately. In fact I have felt pretty great over the last week. I really felt like I'd turned a corner.
I have to make a trip to the UK to see my mum who is sick. I've been saving for ages and finally everything seems to be in place.

I've always been a bit nervous flying, but now I seem to be petrified. Until my passport arrived it was sort of just not real, but now there is nothing stopping me going except myself. I'm not so much scared of the flying, although I don't love it. I'm more scared of being stuck on this uncomfortable plane for so long and travelling so far from where I feel safe. 
I haven't travelled such a long way for a long time. I've been to the UK before, but it was before my anxiety was strong.

The last couple of days I have woken up in the morning with that familiar tension and racing thoughts and its made me really sad because I was getting better. I've been doing my breathing exercises and trying to just keep moving forward with my plans. But the more real it becomes, the more my anxiety comes back. I've noticed that I've start twitching again and I'm nervously tapping my toes non-stop.

I'm scared of that racing heart feeling and off freaking out on the plane. I'm scared that once the plane has taken off, thats it, I can't stop it.
Part of me is excited to see my mum and go on holiday. The other part of me is terrified and just wants to cancel the whole thing and hide.
My GP has prescribed me something to calm me. I've never had it before and so I need to try it before I fly to know how it will effect me. 

My boyfriend will be with me and I know I need to take plenty of things to occupy myself. 

I know I need to do this. I know I have to go. I know that once I get there I will be glad I went and I know that I will regret it forever if I don't go.
What I don't know is how I'm going to do it.

Any insights from those who have managed to travel long distances with anxiety would be greatly appreciated.

[Neil_1]

Dear CW

Yes, this can be a bit of a thing for some people – and what I would be definitely suggesting is for once you’re on the plane, I would be making a bee-line for the hosties who will be looking after your section of the plane.  Let them know your concerns – I have no doubt that they would have heard this before and therefore it’ll give them a heads up to check in on you and if there’s anything they might be able to do to help you along.

Great that you’ll have your boyfriend there with you;  that’ll be a big stress reliever.  Yes, by all means, take a book with you, magazines, etc;  but on the flights these days, they have a great range of movies to view;  tv shows, series, all sorts of variety, comedies, documentaries;  plus they have a good list of games you can play as well.

And try to keep at the forefront of your mind, just why this trip is happening.  Because of your wonderful Mum, who you’re going to visit.  That in itself should really help you to get through this.

Hope I’ve said something of use here.

Neil

[thedeadlycake]

I've haven't flown long distance since my last trip to the UK in 2010 but I can understand where you are coming from with your concerns!

Back then I hadn't yet got any help for my anxiety and I suffered quite a bit worrying about all the procedures around flying and having to be in one place for such a long time. I got through the two journeys reading all the Harry Potter novels!

Since I've learned some meditations and techniques for clearing my mind I think I could do long haul without suffering so much in the build up. When I am worrying about something in advance I find that learning to acknowledge thoughts as thoughts not facts helps a great deal to quieten the mind.

I think if you find your breathing exercises useful remembering that you always have that breath to anchor on is really helpful. If you do feel anxious during the flight it will be easy to close your eyes and centre on that breathing. Trust and have faith in the tools you have and try to not over process in the build up.

Best of luck! 

[Chicken_Wings]

Hey Neil,

Yep, that was helpful, thank you. I'm focusing on my mum as much as I can, if my trip was for any other reason I honestly don't know if I could do it.

The last couple of times I've flown have been for work within Aus and I've been by myself. They haven't always been the best experiences, sitting next to a stranger trying not to freak them out because I'm anxious. The flight crew have generally been really nice though.

I guess there is a bit of bad timing too because this is all happening right when I'm having a relapse of my anxiety and depression. 

[Chicken_Wings]

Hey TDC,

I know that I'm making things worse for myself by worrying about it in advance. Last time I flew I was worried and then I got on the plane, it took off and in the end everything was fine.

I just don't know how to stop thinking about it.
I'm trying to focus on day to day things and when the thoughts come up remind myself why I'm going. I also try to remember that I flew a couple of months ago and everything was fine.
I get up every morning and do my exercises and I've found a guided one that is specifically about flying, but lately I've been finding it difficult to do them. My mind always finds its way back to worry and I have to catch it and bring it back to the exercise I'm doing.

I guess my problem at the moment is that I'm having trouble acknowledging that these are just thoughts. That I probably won't freak out on the plane and everything will be fine. The worst that will happen is that the flight will be boring!

How did you get to the point where you could acknowledge the thoughts? Was it a matter of just telling yourself every time they came up or is there more to it?

[thedeadlycake]

I started with a guided meditation called 'leaves on a stream'.

A voice encourages you to breath deeply. Emptying your lungs completely and letting them refill on their own. In your mind you picture a stream. For me it gently babbled shallow over pebbles, sunlight dancing on the surface. Along the stream floats leaves. Any thought you have you place on the leaf and allow it float away. When a thought catches you and distracts you as soon as your realise you acknowledge it and place it on a leaf.

On my first attempt at it the first thought to interrupt my stream was of work. My office floated away. Unfinished jobs around the house floated away. A space ship from a game I want to play this week stole my attention for a moment before being sent on it’s leafy way.

The voice urged thoughts such as “this is stupid” or “this isn’t working” to be placed on leaves. I smiled because it was working. I felt the anxiety meter in my mind dropping back from the redline it had been at for days as thought after thought after thought floated by. 15 minuted later the audio ended and I didn’t feel bad.

I used the guided version of this whenever I felt myself having too many thoughts and eventually learned to do it without the audio alongside. 

[Chicken_Wings]

thanks TDC,

was this something that was part of an app or did you download the audio onto you phone or something?

I use one that starts off focusing on breathing to relax and then moves towards paying attention to your body. Noticing how you're sitting, what your feet feel like in your shoes etc. Then you focus on noises you can hear. Then goes back to breathing but now you count your breathes up to ten and then start again.

When I'm having a good day I only get drawn away by thoughts a handful of times. On bad days, like this morning, I end up repeating the audio for about an hour trying to do it without spending more than half the time with my mind off wondering somewhere else.

[thedeadlycake]

It was something I bought as a download. I had it on my phone and computer.

The good thing about this particular exercise is that by visualising the thoughts floating away you get less frustrated at them appearing. When you just try and centre on breathing or the temperature of the room or any of those other things you can use to anchor to a moment it's hard to know what to do when a thought pops in.

I found leaves on a stream actually helps me organise thoughts as well. By acknowledging but letting them float on later on the ones that actually need to be dealt with will often come back without out all the extra clutter. 

[Chicken_Wings]

thanks, I'll see if I can find something similar

[thedeadlycake]

It's on "Mindfulness Skills: Volume 1" Google search that or "Leaves on a Stream Russ Harris" should find it for you!