Flying

[Chicken_Wings]

Hey guys,

I've been doing pretty good lately. In fact I have felt pretty great over the last week. I really felt like I'd turned a corner.
I have to make a trip to the UK to see my mum who is sick. I've been saving for ages and finally everything seems to be in place.

I've always been a bit nervous flying, but now I seem to be petrified. Until my passport arrived it was sort of just not real, but now there is nothing stopping me going except myself. I'm not so much scared of the flying, although I don't love it. I'm more scared of being stuck on this uncomfortable plane for so long and travelling so far from where I feel safe. 
I haven't travelled such a long way for a long time. I've been to the UK before, but it was before my anxiety was strong.

The last couple of days I have woken up in the morning with that familiar tension and racing thoughts and its made me really sad because I was getting better. I've been doing my breathing exercises and trying to just keep moving forward with my plans. But the more real it becomes, the more my anxiety comes back. I've noticed that I've start twitching again and I'm nervously tapping my toes non-stop.

I'm scared of that racing heart feeling and off freaking out on the plane. I'm scared that once the plane has taken off, thats it, I can't stop it.
Part of me is excited to see my mum and go on holiday. The other part of me is terrified and just wants to cancel the whole thing and hide.
My GP has prescribed me something to calm me. I've never had it before and so I need to try it before I fly to know how it will effect me. 

My boyfriend will be with me and I know I need to take plenty of things to occupy myself. 

I know I need to do this. I know I have to go. I know that once I get there I will be glad I went and I know that I will regret it forever if I don't go.
What I don't know is how I'm going to do it.

Any insights from those who have managed to travel long distances with anxiety would be greatly appreciated.

[Guest_2350]

Hi Chicken Wings, 

when is your flight? How many days before you go?

I'll write more later, off to a call now xox

You'll be fine, big hugs xox

[Guest_1055]

Hey CW 

I know you feel scared, here is big hug for you. You will be OK, you will be OK..... I have read many many of your posts that you write and you sometimes say you are more scared in the mornings. And then you start to feel better as the day wears on, so perhaps this is just one of these days. And I think you will actually be OK, despite what the feelings say.  

I'm not sure if any of what I have said helps, but I have grown to really care about you, so I just have to give you another reassuring hug.

With love

Shelley xxx

[Chicken_Wings]

We fly out at the end of Jan Yggy, so 1 month. I'm scared that I'm going to spend this month scared and building up more and more fear. 

Hi Shelley, yes, it's always worse in the morning. I'm trying to picture myself on the plane just watching movies and doing puzzles and such. Imagining myself just being bored at worst. We watched something on tv last night and it showed a plane taking off and I instantly felt that rush of fear.

I know I will have my boyfriend with me, but I'm scared it won't actually be helpful, because he sometimes gets annoyed at how fearful I get.

[Chicken_Wings]

Now I'm thinking about mum and how I don't have the right to be scared. I feel selfish for having this fear when she has so much more to be scared about.

she deserves the happiness a visit will give and I know she is looking forward to it and I am an awful person for even thinking about taking that away from her.

But here I am, crying about being on a plane. 

[Guest_2350]

Hello again x

Here some of the stuff that helps me.

Break the trip down little chunks.

1) pack your suitcase, 2) drive to airport, 3) check in, 4) go through securitu, 5) board the plane, 6) land at the stop-over airport, 7) go through security, 😎 board the next plane... Make sure to tell yourself that you can change your mind at any point in time.

I found it very useful to listen to relaxing music during the whole build up of the trip. Meditation Oasis has a few good apps for iphone "Attunement" - has nice relaxing music. "Anxiety relief", "Simply being". I also love "Breathe" from Reachout Australia and "Adult colouring" I have done tons of colouring on my recent trips to India and interstate.

Neil suggested once to me to reflect on whether I have done trips like this before. I pass this on to you. As you are from the UK I guess you have been on an airoplane before? Reflect on these trips and try to remember that you can do this and that you are looking forward to see your Mum and show your man snow and your country.

Where are you travelling to? My daughtet lives near Stonehenge and we went to see her in September.

Good luck sweetie and stay in touch!

Big hugs, Yggy xox

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Yggy,

I bought a colouring book the other day that I plan to take with me and I ordered a book from one of my favourite funny authors. His last book I read in 2 days as I couldn't put it down, I'm hoping I will get completely enthralled in this one too.

Ive travelled to the UK and other places long haul before. It was a long time ago though, since then I've only travelled interstate.

we will be based in Bristol.

i will have a look on the App Store for your suggestions. I know in my head what I need to do, I know I have to do this and I know I will regret it if I don't. I know that I need to plan and have things to do on the plane. I know all this and I hate myself for feeling the way I do because I should be excited. I should be looking forward to this.

[Guest_1055]

Hey CW

I am sitting here wondering if you have ever forgiven yourself, for feeling the way you do. I know for me it seems a foreign idea, and a hard lesson to learn. I can forgive others, but when it comes to myself.... well it is way hard. Well I am not sure where my thought are going with this idea, and I don't even know if this vital lesson is for you. I was just wondering thats all.

I too have one of those colouring books.....

Hug

Shelley xx

[Guest_2350]

Hey Chicken Wings,

please don't hate yourself. This is not your fault, it is not my fault, we cannot help the way we feel. It is ok. 

You have nearly a month to go. Before I went to Europe I actually started taking medication. Have you talked to your GP about your anxiety?

I did not really talk to my husband much about my problems before we went to Europe, but since we have talked more and he is more accepting that there is something wrong and I ask him to do things that are helpful for me. But it had to be on my terms, it took me a long time to open up to him or anyone else.

You have 30 days, I just started headspace 30 days ago and that is starting to help me - it is kind of a meditation / mindfulness app. You could give that a try, the first 10 lessons are for free. They also have a lesson on flying, I have a listen to that for you.

And stay in touch on this forum. There are wonderful people here who have helped me a great deal when travelling and I will be here for you as well! You can also read on the forum about other travelling threads and how people coped?

Take care, Yggy x

[Chicken_Wings]

I haven't been able to forgive myself Shelley. I know I am very hard on myself and I expect more than I am sometimes capable of. I blame myself for being the way I am and I honestly don't know how to let that go.

Yggy I have the headspace app and I've done the ten free sessions. I think I've done them all twice now. I had a listen to the flying one a while ago, I should give it another try, thanks for the reminder. 

I have medication for my anxiety and my doctor prescribed me something extra for the flight itself, but I am also scared of medication, so that is another challenge. I had a try of it about a week or so ago just to see what it did to me, but I couldn't even bring myself to take a whole tablet. I didn't really feel anything.

my boyfriend is very aware of my anxiety, but our ways of dealing with anxiety are very different and I don't always find comfort or safety in his approach. He finds it easy to take medication so feels the answer is as simple as taking the pill. But I feel more tension from this and it makes me even more anxious and under pressure.

[HelenM]

Hi CW,  

 Being frightened of something in the future is a huge problem for me.    I have become immensely selfish over the years.  My mental health is the most important consideration in my life and has to be. That said, I don't know what I'd do in your situation. Are you able to allow yourself to cancel this trip if need be - go to the airport knowing that you may or may not travel.  I haven't been in your situation. I've cancelled trips the day before but nothing as big as this. Is it possible to delay the trip until your health is stronger.    I wish I could give good advice and hope you can work things out.    

Take care, Helen x