Anxiety about going back to work

[Spooky1]

Hey guys,

I’ve currently been out of work due to having a breakdown about 2 years ago I use to work away and one day on my way back had a breakdown in the car and had to go home. Since then 2016 I havnt worked a few times I have tried and just get overwhelmed with the what if’s and start making excuses for myself.

I’m due to start a job tomorrow and again I’m making excuses not to go, overwhelmed with what if’s have butterfly’s and heart feels like it’s going to explode.

I thought I’d be able to handle it but feels as though I can’t but want to desperately as I feel horrible that my partner is the only one working.

[White_Rose]

Dear Spooky

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. Did you get any professional help with your breakdown? Was it work related? If you made a Workers Compensation claim, or whatever the name in your state, at the time of the breakdown then I presume you received help.

How have you been for the past two years? I think you said you had a couple of jobs, how did they go? The problem about returning to anything that has been bad in the past is the fear it engenders towards going back to a similar situation. Whether or not the job is the same or similar does not really matter. It is the fear of falling down again that has upset you.

As you are starting your new job tomorrow I suggest you try and look at what is worrying you. Is it the fear of failure, or fear of meeting new people, or not learning the job quickly enough? Are you afraid someone may know your history and will comment on it? I'm sure there are many other reasons. Can you take a look at why you feel this way? It may be uncomfortable to work out the exact problem but a worthwhile exercise.

When you know where the problem lies can you look at the likelihood of it happening. Remember you are the new kid on the block and will not be expected to have a complete knowledge of your work. There will be a settling in process as there is in any new job. I think many people are nervous starting a new job and that includes me. I understand there is more than general nervousness for you but if you can put yourself in the mindset that says it's a new job and I will be able to cope. I will be able to learn the various tasks I need to do. This may be helpful.

Look squarely at your fear and decide it is not going to get in your way. Really look and see if there is a real possibility of it happening. Most of the imagined scenarios turn out to be untrue and will be the case here.

Mary

[white knight]

Hi Spooky

Not unusual at all I'm afraid. The guilt with your partner the only one working is also normal.

There are a few things you can do. Distraction is the best. Going for a drive, a DVD, board games, cooking, meet with friends. But remember, you will settle quickly once you are at the workplace. Give yourself time. Deep breaths and pat yourself on the back for a great effort.

Your symptoms are common only more extreme due to your length of break and the recovery process.

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Cheers

Tony WK

Regards Tony WK

[Spooky1]

Thanks for the response White Rose,

when I had my breakdown I didn’t do workers comp or anything like that I was currently in my 2nd year out of my trade. All I did was go to my doctor and get some medication and eventually seen someone to talk to.

I havnt had any jobs since but ive been offered jobs taken them and then declined just out of fear of the what if’s. I think it has to do with when I did my apprenticeship I didn’t learn as much as what I should know and the last site I was on had bullying constant feeling of judgment and thoughts of failing.

I just don’t want the feeling of judgement or not knowing something I should and failing. Since Friday I havnt been able to stop thinking about it first thing I did this morning was dread tomorrow morning

[White_Rose]

Hello Spooky

How long did you talk with someone? It seems it would be good for you if you saw that person again. Was it a counsellor/psychologist? For fear that chases after you for so long I think you need some help to get back to work. May I ask you some questions?

How do you get offered jobs? Do you apply for them or does someone offer you a job? I think if you have the courage to look for a job and get offered a position you must have some stubbornness in your make-up. That's a good thing because it can get you going again. Is this new job similar to your previous job? I gather you have worked on a building site and I imagine there is a lot of bullying on those sites.

Not sure why you think you did not learn enough during your apprenticeship. You continued working for two years before becoming unwell so why do you think you were not not sufficiently skilled? And you have been offered jobs so someone has faith in you.

I know how hard it is to worry constantly about doing something, anything that you believe you cannot do or have failed in the past. And maybe that is true at times. We all fall down at work on occasions. I imagine the difference between your work site and others is the kind of rough treatment given to those who are not able to defend themselves. I expect you have played the various scenarios over in your mind so often that it is ingrained in your memory, a constant reminder that you are useless. Please start to believe this is not the case. You can do the jobs given to you because you have done them in the past. These memories are more valid than the painful memories of your last workplace.

Do you think you can get up in the morning and take yourself to work? Perhaps your partner can drop you off. You need to do everything in your power to get back into the workforce. But I'm sure you know this. May I suggest you ignore all the feelings that have been welling up inside you and think about how you are going to start a new job tomorrow. What do you need to do when you arrive ? Report to someone and be given instructions or an orientation guide, or both.

Then what. You have worked in different places so you know the general routine. Start playing a video in your mind of you walking onto the site and speaking to the manager or whoever about what you are to do. Keep that image in your mind and see yourself working and completing tasks. While you are concentrating on those images you cannot think of other events.

Mary