Anxiety - 60 hrs of flying at 31 weeks pregnant

[Jenny1980]

Hi all,

this is is my first ever post. I have a history of anxiety that gets triggered every few years. I'm suffering badly at the moment and need reassurance

so I took a job requiring me to make a trip. I took it early in my pregnancy and told them I was pregnant before taking the job.

Location wasn't clear (could be anywhere) and time was meant to be earlier. Anyway it's now scheduled when I am 30 weeks pregnant (7months) and it's a 30hr flight to get there and 30hrs back (seriously?!) with 6 days on the ground. I freaked out. Can't sleep, eat etc. panic attacks, vomiting...

so I emailed asking if I can move the job to Melbourne (it's possible just maybe not ideal for them). Please tell me this is ok. That I'm not letting anxiety rule my life and I'm not being a bad person.

I've been bursting into tears at least every hr. I hate not living up to expectations, or letting people down. I really wanted to do this but I can't see it being a good idea.

[Croix]

Dear Jenny~

Welcome, I could not find your other two posts, so I'll treat this one as if it was the first.

Ok, I'm male and do not know all the dangers when 7 months pregnant, though I am a parent. I do know that if my wife wanted to embark on such a journey when that advanced and with a history of anxiety I'm most strongly try to dissuade her.

People have differing expectations of their employment, for some they live and breath it 24/7, for others it's a pay-cheque. For most it's maybe something in between. In all cases, and not just this situation, one tries to weigh up risk versus benefit.

Even though 30-hours flights are broken into legs there is a possibility of a long period aloft without full medical help, no way to stop things. Just a simple panic attack at that time would be horrible.

I think your actions - no matter how they were inspired, are in fact prudent.

In addition you've mentioned that the original plan was for an earlier time, and that the job is not completely location-dependent. You may be able to leverage the one to change the other to Melbourne as you have proposed.

You worry about letting people down. For me the biggest stakeholder here would be your baby, with you and your partner in there too. The job and it's people come a very distant second.

May I ask if you are currently under treatment -you do not mention it?

If not, with your history and severity of symptoms I'd see my GP in a long consultation and explain matters as they are now, and in your past, in detail.

Again I have no idea of the effects of anxiety attacks on a 7-month baby, in my family I'm the one with them, but I don't imaging it is a particularly good thing.

To sum up, for whatever motivation, I think you are right to avoid the flights.

Please post back and say how you are going. Posting here is a pretty good action to take. In this case I think it shows initiative, the same as asking for the venue to be changed.

Croix

[PatT]

Hi Jenny,

First of all your anxiety is completely warranted considering the state that you're in. I'm sure that if you've properly explained everything then they they'll respond amicably. It's 2017 and if workplaces can't accommodate to a woman in her third trimester being deeply afraid of taking a massive bout of travel then I'm sure there are avenues you can appeal to. Please don't see this as any fault of yourself. I'm a male and the thought alone terrifies me. For the meanwhile, hope for the best and I'll hope for you too. Don't stress.

[Jenny1980]

Hi Croix! What a lovely reply.

To answer some questions yes I have had treatment by both psychiatrists and psychologists when needed but I haven't seen anyone in about 2 years as I have been well. This took me by complete surprise! And as this was a long weekend I couldn't get into see anyone. I will see my Gp this week to discuss.

I am very passionate about my work and this was a super exciting idea in my head. But my body obviously thought differently! I'm a mom of two already so the thought of flying overseas and actually doing something with my brain was so enticing!

In terms of the actual risk of flying I have been grappling with this. I've never had health anxiety before but I thought I might be having some. From what I've read flying *should be ok* but there is increased risk of Deep vein thrombosis etc. my doctor wasn't keen on there idea so late in my pregnancy but said it's my descision and that she would give me clearance but that I would feel terrible after the flights (this was before the anxiety started). I was like 'great! See ya!' But then the anxiety came on like a punch to the face! Suddenly I was hysterical and vomiting?

I thrill my subconscious just thought 'hell no'! not to mention I was flying for 30 hrs (2 14 hr flights and a 3 hr layover) then when I got there I have to present my work for three days! Actually standing up and presenting it! I don't think I would be able to form sentences let alone be at my best.

Ironically I was going to present my work on the psychology of decision making under stress 😂 And counselling survivors of trauma! Ironic much?

Anyway they have emailed back saying not to worry and that they will arrange something and to let them know how I'm feeling when I can. Which is think is a good response. I'm just a part time consultant so they have other things going on.

I'm still super gittery but I've done it now. I hope the anxiety disapates now. My lovely daughters (5 and 2) have been picking me flowers and giving me tix tacs to make me feel better. I feel terrible they have to see me like that.

Thanks so much for your reply. It really really helps to have people validate my choice to pull out.

[Jenny1980]

Thank you so much for replying. They have come back to me being very understanding. I told them it was 'pregnancy complications' as I am not yet comfortable disclosing it as a pure anxiety or mental health problem. But I kinda think perinatal anxiety IS an unexpected and serious pregnancy complication so I feel somewhat truthful in my explanation.

I'm still anxious but I can feel it lifting. At least I ate today! And I didn't throw up once! Yay. Small steps

[Croix]

Dear Jenny~

Apart from all your news - which is pretty good - there's one thing that gladdened my heart. Your two daughters having such an active role in comforting you.

For them to see you in distress and know they are able to do something about it is not a cause for regret.

What gold.

Croix