Humiliated about medical anxiety

[LilyJax]

Hi I'm brand new to this forum but am seeking (hopefully) urgent support. Just in the sense of reassurance that I'm not the only one and maybe how to fix this issue.

I have medical / health anxiety. I've had it for years at different extremities. I've always been embarrassed about it because I don't want to be seen as a hypochondriac- because I don't believe I am one. When I hear that word I think of someone being all dramatic and making stuff sound worse than it is and talking about it all the time.

I'm not like that. Mine is extremely internalised and I've only shared my fears of medical things that could be wrong to trusted GP's. In fact I felt like one was treating me so much like a hypochondriac that I changed GP's.

I've since found an incredible GP who I've been seeing for over a year, mainly for help with depression and generalised anxiety. But sometimes I have physical issues too, and of course I raise them. My depression and anxiety is so bad that I see her quite often.

Anyway I've noticed my medical anxiety getting so much worse, and this afternoon I said to her this - that "I think my medical anxiety is..." and she finished my sentence with "through the roof?" Which is exactly what I was going to say.

I agreed of course, but then she said something along the lines of she feels that I sort one thing out and then the next thing pops up. I'm hoping she didn't mean it the way I'm scared she meant it but ever since then I've just felt horrified, deeply humiliated and my depression has jumped to an all time low.

I'm COMPLETELY embarrassed. I didn't choose to be this way, I don't make stuff up, I have very real symptoms and I worry. I don't go around telling anyone else other than my GP if I think I have an issue. But I'm horrified to think she might see me as a hypochondriac like I described above. It makes me want to close up and not tell her my worries like I have been - which of course is just as unhealthy.

I have had a significant physical health issue 5 years ago and that has deeply affected me, I'm currently dealing with another less serious one (both very real!) and have had SO much in between so that doesn't help. But nothing is made up or dramatised.

I am just devastated. Has anyone else felt this way with doctors before? I'm seriously just so embarrassed. I feel like doctors who think (or know) you have medical anxiety don't treat you with the same concern they usually would - they think it's being dramatised.

Is ANYONE like me? 😞

[white knight]

Hi lilyjax welcome

Many of us here come under your umbrella. Some of us have 2,3,4 mentall illnesses. Add to that physical ones. Eg l conquered anxiety, got bipolar2, dysthymia, depression, dvt both legs, gout, blood pressure, enlarged heart....

Anyway, my point is that being over concerned with your health is understandable. My therapist concentrated onmy unrealistic thoughts. My anxiety was so off the scale l was dreaming up possibilities of unlikely things to happen. Not healthy.

I'd congratulate you for attending your GP in a serious manner. Like any situation with medical injuries/disabilities your immefiate future wont be easy. Time is your friend. You are no longer perfect and that hurts. The best thing you can do is self help eg

Remind yourself how physically better off you are compared to some.

When you take a handful of tablets remind yourself that taking 12 tablets is not much difference than taking one tablet...just there is more of them.

Seek out relaxation classes. They do work.

Reconsider employment, environment, workplace location and occupation.

Google the following

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Topic: succes!!! 53 years of hell now 5 years contentment- beyondblue

Topic: seeking the origins of anxiety- beyondblue

Topic: meditation- words of wisdom- it helped me for 25 years- beyondblue

Topic: what life can be like at the end of the tunnel- beyondblue

Topic: accepting yourself, the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Topic: being positive, what's the secret?- beyondblue

There are thousands of threads here to view on this forum.

Tony WK

[Chickabee]

Hi lily

please don't feel alone . I to suffer from health anxiety . As result l have real physical symptoms . My local doctor who l respect has dismissed my concerns which saddens me deeply . I to have changed doctors and that has helped enormously . I'm also about to see a councillor soon , hopefully she will provide strategy to help .

Xxx

[Doolhof]

Hi LilyJax,

Welcome to the forum. I've recently been to see a psychologist who is helping me to see my mental health issues more clearly. This may be beneficial for you as well.

A friend recently recommended a book called "Living with IT A survivor's guide to Panic Attacks." The book deals with anxiety that causes panic attacks.

The book is easy to read and makes a huge amount of sense. You could easily relate it to your health anxiety. If you have an opportunity to read a this book it may be very beneficial to you.

Thankfully I have a DR who understands and explains my health issues causes by anxiety or medication side effects.

Hopefully your feeling of embarrassment will not prevent you from returning to see this Dr.