Who am I ?

[JaneyP]

Lately I've been feeling extremely lonely and sad.

Despite having friends and an amazing family, I can't seem to shake this feeling.

I have never really thought of myself as depressed until recently but I think I have been for quite some time.

I have absolutely no motivated to work, no motivation to get up in the mornings and prefer to just sleep each day away.

I have absolutely no reason to be this way or have these feelings so I'm not quite sure why I do.

I never show this side of me in front of people. I'm the person who is always 'happy' around others and I put on a brace face until I'm alone which becomes exhausting for me.

I don't know how to overcome this as I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about it.

I know everyone will tell me to seek help and talk to someone but I just can't bring myself to do it, I don't want anyone to know this is how I feel.

I wish it would just go away and I'd enjoy life again but I feel like it's here to stay for the long run and I just don't know how to cope.

[HamSolo01]

Hey JaneyP

Sometimes there are moments where we cant find a reason we feel a certain way. This can throw us around.

It's good that you are able to identify it and that you are not trying to "fill the void" with anything.

Getting help is ideal for your scenario.

Counselling/psychology is anonymous and you aren't ever required to tell people what's going for you unless you want to tell them.

If they ask, then you can tell them if you want or you make up a story. However i would do the former as making up stories can become exhausting and takes effort that could otherwise be spent taking better care of yourself.

We are all more than our diagnosis and you must remember this.

All the best 🙂

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Janey,

This is actually a really normal thing to feel. I'm not a GP so can't really speak about what's going on, but when I was depressed I felt exactly the way you feel. The good thing is that it's very common (40% of people will be depressed in their lifetime) and you can get through this! I would really recommend you seek professional help, as it's an objective source that can help you out. They won't be shocked or surprised to hear that this is how you feel and will give you the necessary coping skills to help you through this. I really believe in you, trust me when I say that you will not regret continuing to live and persevering through this! I know you can't see it now, but you are stronger and more capable than you can ever imagine. In the meantime I'd like you to download the app Booster Buddy, try to go for a walk every day and do something kind for yourself every day. Please let me know how you go. J.

[JaneyP]

I understand that you should seek help, I know that I should and I really want to.

But when I think about sitting with someone and talking about myself and my feelings I just don't know what I would say, I don't have anything to say.

I have nothing to say to them about why I feel like this so in my mind seeing a professional is a waste of time and I just can't see the outcome of that being good.

[bipolarbeauty]

Hi JaneyP,

I read your post a few times to see how I can help you without you feeling overwhelmed after reading my post.

Also suggested by other people who posted in this thread, I honestly think if sitting alone with a therapist won't work for you, I think you might benefit from group therapy. And they're always facilitated by someone professional. Have you heard of group therapy before? People who go through the same thing as you, and talk about their own experiences, especially around mental health. I have Bipolar and I have found therapy individually with a therapist can be quite confronting, and especially uncomfortable at first, so I feel you.

I just wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone, and your own thoughts about therapy too.

Hope this helps.