Am I a lone wolf/introvert?

[sixfour1993]

I'm 23 years old male who has depression and social anxiety . My life at the moment consists of me going to work, coming home and spending the majority of my time alone in my room. It's been like this since I left high school. Through the years there has been opportunities for friendship, and my reaction to this is somewhat mixed. Part of me wants to hang out and be sociable, and at the same time I hate being involved in social gatherings and I eventually break that opportunity for friendship. I really enjoy being alone to a certain degree, for the most part i'm calm with it, but there are times where the reality of being alone comes down hard. I am reminded that I still have depression. It's so frustrating to me I have finally gotten other important things on the right track like work, saving, etc. But I am remind that there is this void of interaction that's missing.

Ugh...

[sixfour1993]

I think I need a girlfriend.

[james1]

Hey sixfour,

It's nice to meet you 🙂 I'm a 25 year old male and it really sounds like you described my life last year: work, home, games/music.

I think it will take us a while to figure out what we are like and what we are comfortable with, but certainly while we're figuring it out, it can be very tiring, stressful, and sometimes just downright depressing.

You've said that while you like being alone, the reality of being alone sometimes just does a song and dance to make you really realise it.

Have you ever tried using the website MeetUp? It has lots of cool little groups where you can just meet people doing stuff you like to do. I've been to board games meet ups, writing meet ups, rock climbing meet ups...these are all ways to enjoy the company of others in a very safe environment because you also have an activity.

Do you mind if I ask why you feel like you need a girlfriend?

Oh, and congratulations on having a job 🙂

James

[HamSolo01]

Preach it my friend. I am in the same boat.

I shall give a better reply later. Got class soon.

Rest assurec however, today is a good day for people like us on these forums it seems haha

[BenignSky]

Hey, sixfour,

I completely understand what you mean in the sense that you want to put yourself out there and meet new people and have fun, yet there's a part of you that's terrified or reluctant to put yourself in that space. Do you think it could be something to do with a sense of being vulnerable and ultimately exposed?

Being alone is a wonderful thing, I always find myself begging to just be by myself, doing my own thing. When you realise or convince yourself that everyone is having so much fun without you and you have made no social impact on anyone, or any solid relationships, it's a shock to the system, and can really bring one down.

I, myself, haven't found a solution to this feeling of loneliness, but I want you to know that you're not alone in how you feel, and I think everyone experiences loneliness at some point or another.

All that you are going through, you will come out of it. Give yourself time, and love yourself. Just remember it's okay to be feeling the way you're feeling, and there is bound to be many others who feel or have felt the way you do now.

Take care, you seem like a lovely guy. The right girl will come along for you eventually, but trust me, being female myself, I can tell you girls are intricate little creatures xD

- Em

[user_90]

Reading your post I though it was me 😮

Your not alone, I'm 20 and in the same boat.