Young people

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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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HamSolo01 Something I've noticed...
  • replies: 2

Since joining these forums I'm discovering that something I really really struggle to come to terms with is the fact that because I've had no relationships, no girlffriends, no nothing it is having a negative impact on the way I view myself. Increasi... View more

Since joining these forums I'm discovering that something I really really struggle to come to terms with is the fact that because I've had no relationships, no girlffriends, no nothing it is having a negative impact on the way I view myself. Increasingly over time friends are starting up relationships and enjoying themselves. I sometimes find myself thinking I will actually never truly be happy until I find a nice girl who can accept me for who I am. I feel like maybe there is more pressure on guys to initiate stuff with girls, and as a result of my depression and anxiety this simply won't occur. I'm interested to hear what other people's experiences have been like with regard to relationships, happiness in general and how to remain confident while still dealing with depression and/or anxiety.

azarrah "Enjoy every moment" and similar sayings
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Do these stress anyone else out? I often resolve to myself, especially after seeing something about people who have terrible lives but are full of joy and peace, that I should be more like them. After all, I have everything going for me: I'm healthy,... View more

Do these stress anyone else out? I often resolve to myself, especially after seeing something about people who have terrible lives but are full of joy and peace, that I should be more like them. After all, I have everything going for me: I'm healthy, I get good grades, I'm financially secure...the list goes on. So then I tell myself "I should really appreciate things more and love every minute I have in this life." And then I get stressed and sad, because I'm not doing that. I feel bad, ashamed even, that some people have such awful things happen to them, and yet they stay positive and motivated, whereas I have a great life and I don't have either of those things. It just makes things worse! I feel so entitled posting this, even, but I'd love to know if I'm alone with these thoughts. Have you ever felt this way?

JonnyR94 Partner pushing me away becasue of her depression/social anxiety/stress
  • replies: 3

Ive been dating this girl for close to 3/4 months. She suffers from depression and general anxiety disorder and made me aware that at times she needs to zone out completely even from herself. Initially the first few weeks were great, she convinced me... View more

Ive been dating this girl for close to 3/4 months. She suffers from depression and general anxiety disorder and made me aware that at times she needs to zone out completely even from herself. Initially the first few weeks were great, she convinced me to date her and we hit it off like we were twins, We were intimate very quickly and you would have mistaken use for a couple. Skip to a few week later she has one of these zone out sessions and me being unaware of what form this came in stepped my foot right in it by being insecure and assuming she wasnt interested and talking to others. She got really defensive but the day after apologised and understood my ignorance. After that we established that if I could put up with the fact shes putting her uni dissertation work first then she was fine talking to me and having me come over. Since then its been fine, Ive accepted it all. We had not gone on any dates but I went over for the evening alot and the connection was definitely still there. However lately she started to become avoidant and then had another zone out session but didnt inform me, I asked if she was okay and she said she was good. This led me to again revealing my insecurities and telling her it hurts me that she was just reading my messages and not replying after she said she was good. From this she's suddenly decided to essentially remove me completely. She says she cant be dealing with having me around or talking to her because "I want more than she can give atm", to this I informed her If i wasnt getting what I wanted I would have walked however, she doesnt believe any of this and cant accept it. Ive now been shut out for a few days no contact and its honestly hurting me, I have no appetite and I feel sick most of the day. I have been reading about depression on the internet and realised how much of an ignorant fool Ive been taking it all to heart when she cant control what she stresses over. I informed her that Im here for her but knowing that she may never pop up is painful. \ Im not going to give up on her at all I just need to find a way to cope with it and hoped someone on here who is experiencing the same can talk.

Kathryn456 Going to a guys house for the first time.
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So I'm currently freaking out over the fact that I'm about to go to a guys house who I've been talking to for a few weeks but this is only the second time I'll be physically be seeing him. I'm really scared that he's going to expect us to do stuff an... View more

So I'm currently freaking out over the fact that I'm about to go to a guys house who I've been talking to for a few weeks but this is only the second time I'll be physically be seeing him. I'm really scared that he's going to expect us to do stuff and I'm really scared to tell him I've never had sex before or done anything really. My anxiety makes it so much harder for me to be myself and chill around him. It being such a new situation for me I don't know what to do so any advice would be really great!

Kirrily I'm so lonely and it is effecting my life
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Hi, this is my first post here. My name is Kirrily. This is a weird situation I'm in, I graduated high school last year and have since moved pretty far from the area and started a new job. Leaving me with pretty much no one. I used to have quiet a fe... View more

Hi, this is my first post here. My name is Kirrily. This is a weird situation I'm in, I graduated high school last year and have since moved pretty far from the area and started a new job. Leaving me with pretty much no one. I used to have quiet a few friends in high school but at the beginning of year 12 drama happened which I did not want to be apart of so removed my self from the toxic environment which then lead to the old friends turning on me and practically starting a civil war in my grade in which I was completely shunned. So for my final year of school I was alone and focused on studying. Then after I moved away I decided to take a gap year before UNI began and found a new job close by where the people are nice. I have been working there for about 2 months now and have not formed any proper friendships. I have no social life. All I do is work, sleep excessively, read and watch TV. I am quite a happy person when I am with people but I am also sad but no ones knows it, I don't like not being happy. I like to make others happy but I feel like I can't do that lately with all that is clouding my head with my current lifestyle. I have recently gotten in touch with an old friend but she live 3 hours away and we both have busy schedules so we can't make the trip back and forth constantly and she is a very social person that has close friends with many people. So I'm pretty much dedicating all of my social life to her where she doesn't in return. I though my new job would bring me friendships out side of work but it hasn't. I honestly don't know what to do. I've been sleeping for ridiculous amounts of time and waking up tired with headaches but I can't bring myself to get out of bed and do anything. Everyone I do make friendships with end up really good at the start then widdle down to nothing after a week or two. I try my best to communicate up until the point where I feel as though I am annoying them with messages. I just want someone who will talk to me and cure me of this loneliness that I just can't seem to shake. ALSO, I have never had a relationship or kissed a person but there is this new guy at work that I think I could see myself in a relationship with and he clearly is giving me hints of it too. But I don't know why I just can't go for it, I want to but I just can't. It confuses me because just eel as though I wouldn't be good at a relationship, it is hard to explain. Thank you to everyone so much for your help.

Smithy21 Family Issues.
  • replies: 5

Well, were to start... Im young and don't really want to give out my age. But I'm younger then 18. So i have a mum and dad and a brother. I love my mum, she is caring and nice. I don't feel comfortable talking to her about things (this isn't the prob... View more

Well, were to start... Im young and don't really want to give out my age. But I'm younger then 18. So i have a mum and dad and a brother. I love my mum, she is caring and nice. I don't feel comfortable talking to her about things (this isn't the problem). My older brother always goes out drinking and smoking and does stupid things. Endangers himself. He also smokes, i don't know what to do. I go to sleep wondering if i will even see him in the morning. Its hard to sleep. My dad, again. I don't feel comfortable talking to him about anything. He can be nice, but most of the time he is really grumpy. Im not sure if it because he has tired or what. But he never really congratulates me on anything. Sometimes its just a faint "well done" what just feels sarcastic. I got a job recently what I'm really proud of, i have been wanting to get it for ages. Does my dad say congrats? Nope, he said if my schoolwork doesn't improve i can't do it. My dad, mum and brother fight a lot, and i mean a lot. Sometimes its even physical and i have to sit threw this... I even see my brother outside smoking. It really gets to me. I feel like my mum and I are the only good people in the family. I have a thing where i feel bad for everyone and everything, especially myself. So if i speak up and say whats on my mind i will absolutely hate myself. Probably make me even a bit depressed. When i say to myself, ok! I need to talk and end up just pulling out, its to much. I feel like i pull myself up and my dad comes along and just drags me back down. I have been doing this for years and i've had enough. Thank you for reading

OnMyWay I am completely alone
  • replies: 5

I am 23 and somehow have no friends. I get a new "best friend" every six or so months or year and love it but eventually they get bored of me and fade out of my life, every time. I feel like I mus be dling somwthing wrong. I don't even know what to w... View more

I am 23 and somehow have no friends. I get a new "best friend" every six or so months or year and love it but eventually they get bored of me and fade out of my life, every time. I feel like I mus be dling somwthing wrong. I don't even know what to write to explain it but I just feel like I am completely alone in the world and I don't know why, I am nice and fun but sometimes shy but I don't understand why people just get over me, and I can feel thw change happen and know that the friendship will come to an end soon. I don't know what to do anymore, I am accepting the idea of being alone for the rest of my life.

confused1234 Confused about my friends
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Hello, So I started at a new school in term 1 (it's term 2 now) and I settled in well, got along with all the guys and made some good friends. Now, I'm not trying to be cocky or arrogant, but my grades are really high and I am above the average (agai... View more

Hello, So I started at a new school in term 1 (it's term 2 now) and I settled in well, got along with all the guys and made some good friends. Now, I'm not trying to be cocky or arrogant, but my grades are really high and I am above the average (again please don't take that as me being cocky, I don't really like talking about my academics), so I focus pretty hard at school. My plan was to spend term 1 settling in, make friends etc., then term 2 and onwards to knuckle down and get work done, whilst still maintaining my friends. Now that it's term 2, that's just what I've done. None of the other guys share the same view as me when it comes to school, but I made it clear in term 1 that I really want to succeed academically, and they seemed completely chill with it. Now that it's term 2 and I've put my foot down, all the guys are acting strange around me. I get called names, and even though I know it's in good light and just a joke (because I give it back to them), it just seems like it means more on top of everything else. There was a party a week ago, nothing major, just the boys all playing x-box, but I didn't get invited. I get crap for not being sporty (even though I beat them all in cross country and the majority of the running events?) and it's at the point where it isn't a joke, and I'm pretty sure that they know that. I also found out today that they've been going to the basketball courts every Monday night to screw around and have fun, all apart from me. Can someone please explain what is going on here? I'm really confused about this sudden change of behaviour and would like some insight. Thank you.

Lonely_driver Why does everyone hate my interest?!?!
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STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES! IT'LL MAKE YOU USELESS! Age 18, stop playing video games, lost all of my "online" friends that used to have fun together. Life is so... pointless... Recent years, found my love, a car... not a fast car but started to drive f... View more

STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES! IT'LL MAKE YOU USELESS! Age 18, stop playing video games, lost all of my "online" friends that used to have fun together. Life is so... pointless... Recent years, found my love, a car... not a fast car but started to drive fast in the mountains and deserted roads, even did a small slide, so happy. Hell I don't even care if I don't have friends anymore. Reaction from relatives, family "Oh no, that's bad.", "You wanna end up in jail?", "You'll grow out of it.", "Die in a crash.", "You're going to kill someone", "Go out and get a girlfriend!", "Ugh... this again!" Why is everything I do is wrong?!!! Why the things I like is bad?!!?!

shadybananallama I just want friends, not foes
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hello diddlio strangerinos! this is my first ever time talking about myself with such vulnerability and openness but I feel as if it is time for me to address my undiagnosed issue. As I age I feel like I might be losing my mind, being only 19, my age... View more

hello diddlio strangerinos! this is my first ever time talking about myself with such vulnerability and openness but I feel as if it is time for me to address my undiagnosed issue. As I age I feel like I might be losing my mind, being only 19, my age group is know for its loudness, its partying and is the end of our free trial and where we go off to university and have the time of our lives but I just sit here avoiding the best years of my life because I only have a few good days a year and I don't want them to run out or be wasted on the people who've tormented me for years; but all I feel is this overwhelming tiredness and heaviness that I can't shake, as if darkness is consuming my life and my body feeling more like a prison rather than something that defines me. To me my life seems like a candle that is used during those stormy nights or a flame with a short wick, I try and fight the winds of a storm as if I'm not to disappoint the people who have tried to keep my alight, only to be blown out by one off them. I just needed to vent, I'm sorry