I'm so lonely and it is effecting my life

[Kirrily]

Hi, this is my first post here. My name is Kirrily. 🙂

This is a weird situation I'm in, I graduated high school last year and have since moved pretty far from the area and started a new job. Leaving me with pretty much no one. I used to have quiet a few friends in high school but at the beginning of year 12 drama happened which I did not want to be apart of so removed my self from the toxic environment which then lead to the old friends turning on me and practically starting a civil war in my grade in which I was completely shunned.

So for my final year of school I was alone and focused on studying. Then after I moved away I decided to take a gap year before UNI began and found a new job close by where the people are nice. I have been working there for about 2 months now and have not formed any proper friendships. I have no social life. All I do is work, sleep excessively, read and watch TV.

I am quite a happy person when I am with people but I am also sad but no ones knows it, I don't like not being happy. I like to make others happy but I feel like I can't do that lately with all that is clouding my head with my current lifestyle.

I have recently gotten in touch with an old friend but she live 3 hours away and we both have busy schedules so we can't make the trip back and forth constantly and she is a very social person that has close friends with many people. So I'm pretty much dedicating all of my social life to her where she doesn't in return.

I though my new job would bring me friendships out side of work but it hasn't. I honestly don't know what to do.

I've been sleeping for ridiculous amounts of time and waking up tired with headaches but I can't bring myself to get out of bed and do anything.

Everyone I do make friendships with end up really good at the start then widdle down to nothing after a week or two. I try my best to communicate up until the point where I feel as though I am annoying them with messages.

I just want someone who will talk to me and cure me of this loneliness that I just can't seem to shake.

ALSO,

I have never had a relationship or kissed a person but there is this new guy at work that I think I could see myself in a relationship with and he clearly is giving me hints of it too. But I don't know why I just can't go for it, I want to but I just can't.

It confuses me because just eel as though I wouldn't be good at a relationship, it is hard to explain.

Thank you to everyone so much for your help. 🙂

[Kathryn456]

Hi Kirrily,

I know exactly how hard it is to try and make new friends and keep those friendships going. I think trying to make friends at work is a good start and when you do start uni you will make new friends, trust me. Maybe in the meantime you should try joining some clubs such as a sporting team, basically anything you enjoy in a group environment that will also get you out of the house.

I've been in the same situation of sleeping most of the day and feelin like you can't leave the house and it does take a lot within you but as soon as you do start to get yourself out there regularly the easier it gets and you'll start to want to go out.

I think one of the main things is to not try and force or expect anything to happen otherwise your just going to be disappointed if things don't go exactly your way.

In regards to the guy you mentioned I reckon the same advice should apply don't force anything. If he's interested as you said then if you at least start talking to him outside of work things will start to progress.

I hope any of this advice helps and there are a ton of people here to talk to you if you need. Your not alone.

[HamSolo01]

Hey and welcome to the forums

Kathryn456 is absolutely right. Dont force or expect things to happen. Just play it by ear. This can be nerve inducing but the reality is that one should not put high expectations on themselves (though i am guilty of such a crime lol).

Making friends at uni can be hard, but give it some time and youll learn that once youve settled in fully youll be okay. First year was hard for me and as the years have gone by it gets better because you slowly begin to accept who you are.

Moving away from home and starting up somewhere new takes guts so well done on that front too!