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Want to drop uni but scared
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I am in my final year of uni. Unfortunately, I haven’t been interested in the possible career outcomes from my degree since second year but didn’t drop because I felt people would be disappointed if I did. Now I am in my final year and it’s all placements. I failed my 11 weeks clinical placement and I’m really struggling with that. I didn’t get any feedback or any indication that I wouldn’t pass so I felt blind sided and my mental health really plummeted. I wanted to drop out then but was told by a uni supervisor that she was confident I would pass doing another two weeks in the clinic. So even though I went through the worst days of my life I studied hard and decided to give it another chance. I just finished that two weeks at the clinic and still have not passed even though I checked in with my supervisor constantly so I wouldn’t feel blindsided again, and I did everything they told me I needed to do to pass but apparently I need to go back for another two weeks to work on my self confidence. But how can I work on my confidence when every ounce of it has been ripped out of me. Also to mention the two more weeks would be in October. I can’t be anxious and feel awful everyday leading up to the two weeks to potentially not pass again. I don’t know how id get through that. I know it’s ’only Two weeks’ and should try again but I have tried again and done the extra two weeks but now need to do longer. I’ve been told all placement that there are no jobs/very hard to get employment and heard from students who’ve graduated before me still have no jobs. I’ve also been told by supervisors that they regret doing this degree and wish they did something else. Why put myself through this if I don’t want to work in this field but even if I did would struggle gaining employment/ be taken advantage of (which is what we’ve also been told- new grads get taken advantage of and do shit work getting shit money) So I’m struggling with the idea of going back because I’m embarrassed that I’m not good enough and anxious over the idea of facing these uni people again (when they told me I still haven’t passed the second time over video I was crying hysterically and couldn’t breath because I went in to the meeting thinking I passed) but also have no passion or desire to use this degree to work in the related field. I don’t want to go back but I’m terrified of making this decision and would do anything to not have to go through this. I know it sounds like nothing, but I can’t face being told I didn’t pass again, I don’t know if I would get through it. I’m also scared of what my family and friends will say if I drop or defer. I’m thinking of finishing this other degree I started instead because I only have a year left and there’s actually jobs that pay good. I just feel stuck and hopeless and don’t want to face making this decision but I have two weeks to decide.
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Hello
I'm so sorry you're going through all this. It's never easy to handle disappointments. I agree with you that it's time to review what you would like to do in the future and whether all this is worth it. This is your life, you're the one living it and what your think is the most important thing.
Have you tried to look at alternatives? What other options are available for you? It's completely fine to review what we're doing and adjust it to what we need and want.
I hope that things will work out for you, please be nice to yourself and let us know how you're going whenever you feel like it
