Does anyone else feel like there's nothing? What have you found happiness in?

[displayname456]

I'm 18. Never been invited to a party, never really had any friends, embarrassed myself a lot when I was younger. I don't have any dreams, I don't get good grades, I don't have a life, I don't have any hobbies, I don't have anything that brings me joy. My parents just want me to study all day so I can't do a whole lot anyway. I kind of just exist. I have a few friends but we aren't close. I feel like a lot of people think I'm weird because I've never drunk or done drugs or dated before as well. 

I'm not introverted, I'm a bit extroverted in fact, but I'm a little bit autistic probably, and some people find me offputting. I'm also a bit ugly, though I don't think that should be a huge problem, it just doesn't help.

Yeah that's it though. I just exist and have no hopes and dreams. My ATAR is gonna be shit. I did terribly in a bunch of tests which ruin all my good results. I just feel like my life has been kind of pointless and I just don't care about anything anymore. There only thing I want to do that I'm good at is write for television but I won't make it because of nepotism and living in this country and my parents would not support me and I am financially dependant on them so I obviously cannot pursue this. 

Anyone else feel like this? Anyone who felt like this in the past - what made you feel joy again?

[TrueSeeker]

Hello

I'm so sorry that you feel like that. It can sometime be all so hard, confusing and exhausting. I know that the world is not perfect but things are constantly changing and improving. The future can be quite a bit different from now.

I can see that you'd love to write for television. As much as it can seem hard now, I think that it's worth pursuing as nowadays tiktok, youtube can give a great platform for anyone to create content. Maybe try to get together with other people that are in the same situation that can do the videos, act etc. I think it's worth a try.

Also we don't need to be liked by everyone, it's ok to just have one or two good people in our lives. It can take some time to find them, all we can do is just to keep trying and looking for good things to happen.

Please take care and let us know how you're going

[sbella02]

Hey there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us, and we warmly welcome you to the forums. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. This may be a longer reply, so I'll try to highlight the important points.

High school is such a difficult time, and coupled with the fact that there are all of these things that we're "meant" to be doing by other peoples' standards, it makes it difficult to do anything that goes against the grain. I was very similar at that age - I wasn't having much luck with friends towards the end of high school, I did tend to embarrass myself a lot when I was younger, and I never really had any interest in doing substances, drinking, or dating. 

I ended up getting a part-time job, which helped me learn how to talk to people (before that I was somewhat awkward with most people my age), and I also found a lot of great friends and people to talk to and confide in. I was also very lucky in that after high school, I found good friends in uni.

The other good thing about a part-time job is that you can start to earn money to work towards being less financially dependent on your parents. It can also be a way of disconnecting from other stressful things that may be going on in your life. 

Did you have anything that you used to enjoy when you were younger? Even if you don't currently have any hobbies, it could be worthwhile trying something out, even if it's just for 15 minutes or so. There are things that are more active like going to the gym, going for a run or a walk, and then there's the creative side, where you have things like painting, cooking, writing, making music, etc. There are also other solo hobbies like reading, or activities where you can learn a new skill like coding or woodworking. You learn lots about yourself when you do these kinds of things, and being in your own company in a meaningful way can get you to be really comfortable with who you are.

Immersing yourself in these activities can also strengthen that common ground that you can use to bond with people. If you have a look online, you may be also able to find hobby clubs, groups, or sporting clubs where you can meet likeminded people. Even if they don't turn into lifelong friends, it can be good to have some company outside of school if you feel like you don't have too many close connections. 

If you're finding that there's pressure on you to pursue study beyond school, you can always try studying something you think you may enjoy (it sounds like journalism may be one to look into!) and see if you like it, then change degrees or drop out (if feasible) if you don't. Across Australia, there seem to be good student help initiatives, scholarships, and loans available that can get you through, and most of the time you won't have to pay anything back until after you've graduated. I wouldn't let things like nepotism in others stop you from pursuing something you think you may enjoy - I know plenty of people who have made it into that industry on their own merit. 

I hope this helps give you some hope or clarity in what must be such a difficult time. It sounds to me like you do have visions and goals for yourself later in your life, but that they may be hard to visualise right now as you're stuck in this difficult place. Remember that those small, meaningful changes in your daily life/routine can be really impactful, and they can be great places to start if you're looking to feel better overall.

Please feel free to keep chatting with us if you'd like, we're here to support and listen. 

All the best, SB