dont have any friends

[hello_panda]

I don’t really have any friends right now, and to be honest, I didn’t really have them in high school either. A lot of it felt forced or fake. I always hoped uni would be different, that I’d find “my people”, but it’s been the opposite.

University has felt really isolating. Everyone seems busy, caught up in their own world, and it’s rare that anyone really talks or makes an effort to hang out. I’ve tried putting myself out there, joining things, starting conversations, but it never seems to lead anywhere lasting. It’s starting to feel really disheartening.

Because of it, I’ve noticed I can’t study like I used to. I used to push through things on my own, but now it just feels... exhausting. There’s something really heavy about doing everything alone all the time from lectures to lunch breaks. I never thought the loneliness would affect me this much, but it’s honestly been creeping in.

[Croix]

Dear Hello_panda~

Welcome here to the forum, I hope you find it helpful.  One thing to say at the start is start forming friendships is a two person thing. It is not only you looking for a friend, but them looking for one too.

You sound has if you have made efforts to join in, but it has not worked out. Being first year  uni can be very lonely, it is a new environment and a new self-directed way of working. Hopefully some lectures and tutorials are in person and not all on  line.

There are two things I might suggest. The first, as your ability to study is less, is to go and see your lecturer and ask if there is a study group you can join. Working with others at a common task can be a fruitful ground.

The other thing is to be observant, there will always be crowds of people that know each other - maybe from school. There will also people that are by themselves, hesitate to join in, eat lunch alone and spend more time reading. Try to make friends with people like these, they may welcome the social contact having been like you, isolated.

Croix