Want to drop uni but scared

[abc_220]

I am in my final year of uni. Unfortunately, I haven’t been interested in the possible career outcomes from my degree since second year but didn’t drop because I felt people would be disappointed if I did. Now I am in my final year and it’s all placements. I failed my 11 weeks clinical placement and I’m really struggling with that. I didn’t get any feedback or any indication that I wouldn’t pass so I felt blind sided and my mental health really plummeted. I wanted to drop out then but was told by a uni supervisor that she was confident I would pass doing another two weeks in the clinic. So even though I went through the worst days of my life I studied hard and decided to give it another chance. I just finished that two weeks at the clinic and still have not passed even though I checked in with my supervisor constantly so I wouldn’t feel blindsided again, and I did everything they told me I needed to do to pass but apparently I need to go back for another two weeks to work on my self confidence. But how can I work on my confidence when every ounce of it has been ripped out of me. Also to mention the two more weeks would be in October. I can’t be anxious and feel awful everyday leading up to the two weeks to potentially not pass again. I don’t know how id get through that. I know it’s ’only Two weeks’ and should try again but I have tried again and done the extra two weeks but now need to do longer. I’ve been told all placement that there are no jobs/very hard to get employment and heard from students who’ve graduated before me still have no jobs. I’ve also been told by supervisors that they regret doing this degree and wish they did something else. Why put myself through this if I don’t want to work in this field but even if I did would struggle gaining employment/ be taken advantage of (which is what we’ve also been told- new grads get taken advantage of and do shit work getting shit money) So I’m struggling with the idea of going back because I’m embarrassed that I’m not good enough and anxious over the idea of facing these uni people again (when they told me I still haven’t passed the second time over video I was crying hysterically and couldn’t breath because I went in to the meeting thinking I passed) but also have no passion or desire to use this degree to work in the related field. I don’t want to go back but I’m terrified of making this decision and would do anything to not have to go through this. I know it sounds like nothing, but I can’t face being told I didn’t pass again, I don’t know if I would get through it. I’m also scared of what my family and friends will say if I drop or defer. I’m thinking of finishing this other degree I started instead because I only have a year left and there’s actually jobs that pay good. I just feel stuck and hopeless and don’t want to face making this decision but I have two weeks to decide. 

[TrueSeeker]

Hello

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. It's never easy to handle disappointments. I agree with you that it's time to review what you would like to do in the future and whether all this is worth it. This is your life, you're the one living it and what your think is the most important thing.

Have you tried to look at alternatives? What other options are available for you? It's completely fine to review what we're doing and adjust it to what we need and want.

I hope that things will work out for you, please be nice to yourself and let us know how you're going whenever you feel like it

[Guest_10253]

Hey lovely,

"failed my 11 weeks clinical placement and I’m really struggling with that"
If you genuinely applied yourself, which the detail of your post certainly reaffirms, and you are in final year then it doesn't make sense you've failed.

"was told by a uni supervisor that she was confident I would pass doing another two weeks in the clinic"
Is this costing you more money? Is it a clear percentage fail, or somewhat subjective? Unfortunately the way the world works is not always how it looks on the surface. No one here can know enough as to whether this is a cut and dry rip-off, but the fact you are in final year makes you desperate and exposed to have vulnerability preyed upon. What you could do is chatGPT a formal letter to management above your supervisor, outlining your surprise at not being passed for a second time, document the efforts and improvements you know you made, reiterate your supervisors 'confidence' in your ability and finally your warranted shock at the latest fail.  Add if they don't reply with a more detailed account as to your second failing, you may contact a regulatory avenue for further options and clarity. Feed this all into chat GPT and it will cross reference which bodies to cite. There you are firing a shot across the bow, no one ever admits to impropriety, but you may find the supervisor gets a tap on the shoulder and your near-pass becomes a pass.

"I’ve been told all placement that there are no jobs/very hard to get employment and heard from students who’ve graduated before me still have no jobs."
For me this is another red flag for gaslighting you into anxiety and desperation. You have to seriously consider this organisation may be taking advantage of your final year situation with grades.

"the second time over video I was crying hysterically and couldn’t breath because I went in to the meeting thinking I passed"
No wonder your poor thing. You are under unfair pressure for a young person. So many of you guys are doing so well to hang in there! No entry to a career path should be breaking you, all  you guys studying need to be validated on that.

I’m thinking of finishing this other degree I started instead because I only have a year left and there’s actually jobs that pay good.
Good. Just.. Don't force the square peg in the round hole. What really counts in life is a sustainable working in a job you can tolerate, that's reasonably challenging, and one where you find your personality and general abilities afford you some nifty hacks to growing your value to the organisation. 

How you get here is navigating the same challenges you kids have, experiencing pressure, reaching out for help, finding it, coping, learning about how the world works, testing the theory, getting it wrong, less wrong, then eventually right. But undertaking something that just isn't working won't give you the sustained exposure to learn how you can adapt yourself to survive in the world. And you most certainly can and will! You are unique and have a lot to offer in the workforce. But you don't fall into 6 figures. It takes building a career, biting off manageable bits and learning and adapting as you go. This god aweful cruel pressure and illusion the educational organisations spin is tantamount to human rights abuse.

I work at a global biotech now, and I do a lot of graphic design work but I don't know how to use the Adobe Suite! (industry standard software) I use Canva (cry laugh emoji). What's more scary is the junk that comes from global is not even layered files.. incompetence right to the top!! This is what you will discover when you enter a job.. But I've learnt to play the game, only by persevering at levels I could sustain.