unimaginable suffering

Guest_8189 · ‎03-10-2018

On the 19th of August, I witness my father pass away from a sudden heart attack. My world changed forever. At 21, my life and ambitions were starting to take shape, so sad to realise I can no longer share that with him. My life was always with him, we shared the world together. I've losed half of me in a way. On top of all this I suffer from server anxiety/OCD. Anger has made me lash out on people who have done wrong to my dad in the past. All this pain and suffering is only going to kill me too. I saw a therapist today, which didn't help, in fact made it worse. I don't know what to do anymore. She recommended medication, so I am still deciding. My mind is clouded atm. I guess I'll try my luck here. Can someone please help me out or share their story. I am lucky to have some supportive family members in all the chaos. I try to stay away from unhealthy foods and exercise, to help with the suffering. But I feel like my world is crashing down on me and I can no longer keep going. My mind is saying "I give up"

blondguy · ‎03-10-2018

Hello Suffering_01

My sincere condolences for your dad's passing.....August 19.......that is 5 minutes ago (as in recent) and at 21 this would be awful

There are no words for your loss....To have a cloudy tired mind would be expected. You mentioned that you suffer from anxiety as well. This would be painful for you

My dad passed away 19 months ago and its still painful and I miss him so much. I also used to have chronic anxiety for a while and had the counseling (and meds)

Just a note about the counseling if I can......the more frequent the counseling the more peace you will have in your life in this difficult time. I really hope you can post back when you are up to it....even about anxiety/meds..anything

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post.....

you are not alone in your pain

my sincere condolences

Paul

Guest_8189 · ‎04-10-2018

thanks for the reply blondguy

Sorry to hear about your dad 😞

The hardest thing for me is knowing people can't really help me, especially when I have a unique way of dealing with my life problems. I don't even understand how my mind works sometimes too. But I will try to keep going, but I want to avoid the meds as much as possible. I think diet and exercise play a huge role in our mental health.

I continue to fight and hype myself up towards extended family members. People telling me to stop talking about this or that (people who did wrong to him in the past) because it might offend them, when really i'm speaking the truth on behalf of my dad. I guess the dragon comes out when grieving. How did you cope during the loss of your dad?