Uh Hi!

[Kiarah]

Hello, my name's Kiarah.

I've never been on anything like this before so it is very new. I'm 16, diagnosed with depression after attempted suicide, been very up and down....

I was wondering about this thing i do, i create stories in my head, up to 10 different ones to choose from, i'm the main character and they range from real life to fantasy. I get attached to the other characters and sometimes even cry when they die. I daydream as much as i can, waking up, going to sleep, showering, spare time.

When i 'daydream' i pace. I usually do this for around 1-2 hours a day but it can often go up to 5-7 hours a day. I have a track worn in my carpet from where i have paced.

Just wondering if anyone has thoughts on this! Thanks Kiarah

[Doolhof]

Hi Kiarah,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the community here. I'm wondering if you are receiving help for your depression?

Have you ever thought of writing down the stories you create in your head? You might become an author or a story teller for other people.

Years ago when I couldn't sleep at night, I used to make up stories and they would go on for hours. I had to try hard to stop that in the end though,. as I used to want the stories to keep going and I never ended up having enough sleep.

Have you spoken to a Dr about your pacing? It certainly does sound like you do it quite connuously. I am certainly no expert at all so don't quite know why you do that.

Is it at all possible for you to go outside when you are like that? Do you have a garden you can walk in? Maybe being outside might distract you so you start thinking about what is around you.

I'm a little curious as to how your family feel about your daydreaming and pacing?

Are they supportive? Do you live with your family?

Hope you don't mind all of the questions. You certainly don't have to answer them if you don't want to.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[geoff]

dear Kiarah, hello and welcome to the forum.
Can I ask you a couple of questions and please only answer if you want to:
do you have thoughts about harming people close to you, and besides from pacing along the same track is there anything else you do that you don't need to, in other words repeatedly. Geoff.

[Narniakid]

Hi Kiarah, welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to our community.

Have you considered seeking professional help and advice regarding your depression? More often than not, depression can simply be an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. If something traumatic has happened to you recently, or even just in your lifetime, that could also be the root of your depression, and I do recommend seeing a psychologist. Talk to your local GP about it and they can give you a referral to the appropriate specialist.

I agree with Doolhof - you should definately write these daydreams down! Not only could there be a bestselling plot hiding somewhere, but it can be helpful to get feelings and thoughts out of your head through a creative outlet, whether it be writing, drawings, painting, music.. Anything! 

I'm not a doctor or anything, but I haven't heard of the pacing before, so I strongly recommend you see your GP about that particular symptom. 

Crystal

[Kiarah]

Hey everyone thanks for replying, 

I have seen someone about my depression in the past but not any more because i get very agitated around 'new' people, although i occasionally see my school chaplain. I havent told anyone about my pacing, or my family either. 

I have thought about harming other people, but never acted on it. I used to self harm, but that is sort of under control.

I love writing poetry, and i have seen a psychologist before but it is really stressful and often exacerbates my negative behaviour.  

Thanks Doolhof, Geoff and Narniakid

[Doolhof]

Hi Kiarah,

Thanks for responding to our posts. If you can, it may be a good idea to chat with the school Chaplain again.

If you do have trouble being with new people, you might like to try the telephone help line here at Beyond Blue. You can call anytime. The people answering the phone are very helpful. The number is 1300 22 4636, or if it is too hard to actually chat with someone personally, you could try the Chat On Line service that is listed below.

Sharing how you are feeling here might help you to a certain degree. None of us are professionals of any kind, we are all people wanting to help someone else along their journey.

Thinking about hurting other people is not really a fun thought to have in your mind. I had similar disturbing thoughts at one stage. It was all part of my depression. Once my Dr had me on a different medication, I didn't have those thoughts any more.

Returning to your Dr might be a good idea for you, and to tell your parents how you are feeling as well. If you can't tell them verbally, then maybe write it down.

Hopefully by expressing here how you are feeling, might help you to better understand yourself.

Thinking of you, cheers for now from Mrs. Dools