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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Jessica16 Letting it all out
  • replies: 4

I was 14, when I started to compare myself to others. I would look at my body and wonder why I couldn't be that thin or that pretty. At the time i thought i was like any normal teen wanting to be better, but it wasn't i was 15 that i realised i let t... View more

I was 14, when I started to compare myself to others. I would look at my body and wonder why I couldn't be that thin or that pretty. At the time i thought i was like any normal teen wanting to be better, but it wasn't i was 15 that i realised i let the anxiety and insecurities rule my life. I remember i was coming up to exams when i had this awful feeling come over me, my heart was racing, i was having hot and cold flushes and having trouble breathing. I had never felt so terrified in my life, the world was spinning and i wasn't able to make sense of anything. My body issues started to get worse as well, i wasn't anorexic but i was starving myself and would never stop moving in fear that i hadn't burned enough calories. I continued to have body issues and anxiety attacks, but it was now starting to take a toll on my daily life. I remember describing this time in my life like drowning, being pulled down and only able to take gasps of breathe. My whole world had turned grey and my mind only filled with clouds of darkness. I was weak and helpless. I stopped doing my sport, i struggled getting out of bed, i didn't do my homework and even failed a test. I would contemplate is life really worth living and i craved a relief, to stop the pain i was feeling and just to feel the happiness i used to feel. I would also struggle with sleep, unable to to go to go to sleep till 1 or 2 am. I would lie down in bed just thinking of everything i did wrong and stressing about everything i was yet to do. I avoided anything that would bring on stress, hence why i was letting my grades slip. I hadn't told any of my friends or family and i had became detached from my best friends. It created a lot of tension in my house with everything ticking me off and my parents unsure what to do. Finally, in tears i spoke to my parents and told them i had an anxiety attacks, it was then i was finally able to go seek the right help. They told me to visit the school counsellor and i did. We worked through my feeling and got to know my triggers. I learnt to relax more and how to try sleep quicker. I learned to accept my body and stopped comparing myself, and look at everything as a positive. Now i am back to usual self and have learnt how to handle anything that may cause me stress. I still have my moments where i excessively worry but I remember now to stay hopeful and remember all the things that brings me happiness. I hope this helps anyone else realise that they are NOT alone

Milly12 Needing some advice
  • replies: 2

Do you ever feel like everything that goes bad goes bad all at once? in the last week I was fired from my job, my account became overdrawn by hundreds, my partner became distant from me and my pet has gotten sick. Its all started to weigh on me very ... View more

Do you ever feel like everything that goes bad goes bad all at once? in the last week I was fired from my job, my account became overdrawn by hundreds, my partner became distant from me and my pet has gotten sick. Its all started to weigh on me very much, I don't sleep and I can hardly eat and I'm getting to the point where I struggle to leave the house or even bed for that matter. the town I live in its very difficult to find any kind of work so no matter how hard I try I can't even pay my bills and that only makes things worse, I have to rely on my partner or my family for support even for simple things like groceries and I've started to receive letters from debt collectors, I feel stupid saying that I've even considered the go fund me website for help but I know that there are people who are far more desperate than myself. im starting to drown in debt as well as my depression and I just don't know what to do. P.s. I apologies for rambling or not making sense.

Kiarah Uh Hi!
  • replies: 5

Hello, my name's Kiarah. I've never been on anything like this before so it is very new. I'm 16, diagnosed with depression after attempted suicide, been very up and down.... I was wondering about this thing i do, i create stories in my head, up to 10... View more

Hello, my name's Kiarah. I've never been on anything like this before so it is very new. I'm 16, diagnosed with depression after attempted suicide, been very up and down.... I was wondering about this thing i do, i create stories in my head, up to 10 different ones to choose from, i'm the main character and they range from real life to fantasy. I get attached to the other characters and sometimes even cry when they die. I daydream as much as i can, waking up, going to sleep, showering, spare time. When i 'daydream' i pace. I usually do this for around 1-2 hours a day but it can often go up to 5-7 hours a day. I have a track worn in my carpet from where i have paced. Just wondering if anyone has thoughts on this! Thanks Kiarah

Americanmary1 Depressed boyfriend
  • replies: 4

Hi all, So my boyfriend told me he went to the doctors last week and that he needed time to get his head around what's wrong but wouldn't tell me what was wrong, when I brought it up he kept getting frustrated and would tell me he'll talk later. I ke... View more

Hi all, So my boyfriend told me he went to the doctors last week and that he needed time to get his head around what's wrong but wouldn't tell me what was wrong, when I brought it up he kept getting frustrated and would tell me he'll talk later. I kept calling and messaging where I got no answer. It was a week since I had heard from him until he spoke to me today saying we need to talk. When I spoke to him he told me he was diagnosed with depression. I brought up the issue of him pushing me away and when I asked him where our relationship stands he said we weren't broken up but his head is all over the place. I have voiced how desperately I want to be there for him but he just doesn't want to talk and it's starting to weigh me down and I don't know what to do. Please help

AirJordanFan93 Finding It Hard To Cope With Life
  • replies: 2

Im 22 years old and have been battling depression since 2014 though its likely been longer since sometime I was in high school. I guess I was bullied in a sense. I was often made fun of by fellow students for being different. Primarily because I list... View more

Im 22 years old and have been battling depression since 2014 though its likely been longer since sometime I was in high school. I guess I was bullied in a sense. I was often made fun of by fellow students for being different. Primarily because I listened to classic rock bands such as KISS,Metallica,Led Zeppelin and The Beatles. I eventually left school midway through year 11. After leaving school I attended TAFE for the next 18 months. My issues really began to take a hold of me after I turned 20. I was unemployed and on Centerlink when I just felt worthless as a person and found I had no real purpose in life. With the stress of Centerlink as well as a bubbling depression it all came full circle only a few days after my 21st birthday and I feel my life just became very poor after I turned 21. I realized the girl I had deep feelings for wasn't all that interested in me despite her initial claims. It was around this time I began counseling after a referral from my GP which at the time was a big help to me and have since returned to the service for counseling each year. In late 2014 I had a fairly big meltdown and found it very hard to cope with life. I was given a job at this time and at first it made me feel good about myself. But in the last few months this job has left me feeling worthless and very poor about myself. I kind of feel the job is a big factor into how I'm feeling at the moment. I was doing fine up until the late stages of 2015 when all of a sudden I just felt like there was no meaning or reason for my life. Im at the point where I dread going to work. I feel I have very little in life to look forward to. I don't have many friends at all so my social interactions are quite minimal plus I also have low self-esteem and low confidence in myself and my physical appearance. If it feels like this is ranting then I apologist in advance. I just needed a place to let it all out as Im feeling in quite a dark place at the moment. Also thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.

pointfive Depression is worth beating
  • replies: 3

Heeeey So I've been debating putting this up but what the hell. I've been dealing/flailing with depression for a few years now since high school (currently 19yo at uni). I don't know when it started, it kinda snuck up on me until one day I realised I... View more

Heeeey So I've been debating putting this up but what the hell. I've been dealing/flailing with depression for a few years now since high school (currently 19yo at uni). I don't know when it started, it kinda snuck up on me until one day I realised I'd been feeling down for ages. was no real reason for it, nothing bad had happened to me my grades weren't bad and I had a group of friends, but I was just shy and didn't really click socially. I didn't really want to go party or hook up or do any of that stuff my friends were doing and expected me to want to do. I felt lonely and down almost all the time. When I went to uni I tried to go in really positive but I just hit a wall, I was awkward and couldn't make friends and just ended up alone, and my mental state really started getting bad. I felt sad and alone all the time, felt worthless, spent way too many nights crying myself to sleep, and sometimes drifted into darker territory. This went on for most of 1st year at uni, until I couldn't take it anymore and had to do something. I wanted to tell someone but didn't want to seem 'weak' (which annoyingly as a guy this worries me) didn't want sympathy I wanted help and wasn't sure anyone could give me that. So first piece of advice which you may use as you please: don't expect there to be this perfect moment when someone takes your hand and asks if you're ok, if you want help from someone you have to let them know. Yeah, scary. Even now I've only told one person, but maybe you guys will be better than me I started trying to see my friends from school more and talked to random people at uni even though it scared me, and even fluked some new friends. I started being myself and not trying to be 'socially acceptable'. Realised you trying to be the person I thought I was expected to be I'd lost who I enjoyed being. Started being more energetic and doing things without thinking, where before I'd over analysed every single thing I did. I didn't happen overnight there's no easy way to change things, it took weeks to feel consistently better and I'm still not perfect. I'm still a little shy and sometimes I have panic attacks or just want to break down and cry. But now I understand that those feeling will pass and I can get back to being who I enjoy being. Hopefully this might help someone because there is always a way out even if you feel bad now it can get better if you really want it to, trust me it's worth it Apologies for such an essay! .5

MsCroft What do i do?
  • replies: 2

I have had the worst weekend, I wouldn't say of my life but it was pretty damn close. Not only am I at risk of getting my enrolment cancelled because I can't seem to work up the courage to face anyone in my classes, I feel crazy, but I also lost all ... View more

I have had the worst weekend, I wouldn't say of my life but it was pretty damn close. Not only am I at risk of getting my enrolment cancelled because I can't seem to work up the courage to face anyone in my classes, I feel crazy, but I also lost all of my friend, due to false perceptions and lies. I spent todays school day, sitting in the library, I barely spoke or looked at anyone. So what happen? Well I board at a campus, so basically we go to school and board there because we don't live anywhere near a school. And my step sister also boards, she was like my best friend. I told her everything. One night someone walked up to me and asked me why she was talking about me confused I asked them what they meant and they said she called me ugly, and no matter how much make up I put on, Im going to be ugly forever, But I am so self conscious about my face, so I pack the make up on like its running out of fashion, and she knows that. Angry I marched my way over to her and asked her why she would say that, and then yelled and slammed a door. As I walked back into my room, I also slammed my door and sat there in the darkness. And apparently in that time that I was sitting in my room, I had managed to threaten four people, including my so called sister, she had told everyone that I was crazy and on medications. Now no one is talking to me, and I feel worse than I've ever felt in my life. I have no idea what to do? I'm stressing about school, but also everyone is bagging me, and making fun of me, and judging me...... It makes it so hard to focus in class, I'm failing as far as I know, At this point I have no one who believes in me, So I wouldn't be surprised if I fail year 12 and go no where in life. I don't understand what am I supposed to do. I wish I was smart enough to think for myself, I have no one, no one to tell me I've done good, and I perpetually wait by the phone just in case someone is ringing to say I've made them proud, But no one ever does, because I simply disappoint everyone. I feel as if I only ever exist when I'm wanted but people like me are hardly ever wanted, we just wither, we are so lonely, that solitude becomes our friend..... I don't mind being alone, I really don't, It's just the thought of having someone talking about me that's so hard to take in. I don't understand, I thought I was getting better, but I'm surely getting worse.... What do I do? I don't even feel the need to do make up anymore, my looks don't phase me.... I'm so lost

bandssavedmex Hey, I'm new here!
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I have just made an account. How is everyone doing?     

Hi everyone, I have just made an account. How is everyone doing?     

SarahJH I don't understand but I feel depressed
  • replies: 3

I feel always really sad and depressed and I don't understand what is wrong with me. Just a quick introduction, My name is Sarah and I'm in high school right now. I am always sad and I have trouble with many social situations. This means I have no fr... View more

I feel always really sad and depressed and I don't understand what is wrong with me. Just a quick introduction, My name is Sarah and I'm in high school right now. I am always sad and I have trouble with many social situations. This means I have no friends and no one to talk to and I don't talk my mum as she dosen't understand and she thinks it's all in my head. I don't live with my dad but I am staying with him as my mum can't handle me. I feel like she doesn't love me anymore and this makes me feel worse than I did at first. I really don't understand and want this to get better but I don't know how.

Reaperbird Hot and cold friend
  • replies: 2

I have/had an online friend, we've known each other for a few years. We didn't speak to each other a huge lot, but when we did talk, they would always be kind, tell jokes, and tell me they appreciated my friendship. Our conversations were short, but ... View more

I have/had an online friend, we've known each other for a few years. We didn't speak to each other a huge lot, but when we did talk, they would always be kind, tell jokes, and tell me they appreciated my friendship. Our conversations were short, but I enjoyed them immensely. But then there would be long periods of time where they would just outright ignore me, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but they wouldn't message me and they never replied to any of my messages. They replied and spoke to other people, but not me. I know we didn't speak much to begin with, but before, they didn't ignore my messages, and they would start conversations with me here and there... but that went from sometimes, to not at all. I thought it was an indicator they didn't really want to be friends, but every time I confronted them they would assure me they did want to be friends, and when I finally gave in and removed them on social media, they always followed me back again. I've felt so conflicted and confused by this behavior. They said they wanted to be friends, but then they didn't treat me like a friend? And every time they suddenly stopped talking to me, it seemed to happen for longer and longer each time. Sometimes for months. Eventually I gave in and blocked them, I was hurt because I didn't know where I stood with them. I know they do have social anxiety, but it was upsetting me too much. I really like them and I like talking to them, but they kept ignoring me and I couldn't handle it anymore. How am I supposed to feel like their friend when they won't even talk to me? They talk to everyone else too, so why not me? Still, I feel guilty for blocking them, and I miss them. If I could have talked to them about it I would, but when asked they evaded my questions or ignored my messages. So I don't know what's going on with them or why they have treated me this way. I wish we could still be friends, but I don't know where I stand and I don't want to feel ignored anymore.

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