Depression is worth beating

[pointfive]

Heeeey

So I've been debating putting this up but what the hell. I've been dealing/flailing with depression for a few years now since high school (currently 19yo at uni). I don't know when it started, it kinda snuck up on me until one day I realised I'd been feeling down for ages. was no real reason for it, nothing bad had happened to me my grades weren't bad and I had a group of friends, but I was just shy and didn't really click socially. I didn't really want to go party or hook up or do any of that stuff my friends were doing and expected me to want to do. I felt lonely and down almost all the time.

 When I went to uni I tried to go in really positive but I just hit a wall, I was awkward and couldn't  make friends and just ended up alone, and my mental state really started getting bad. I felt sad and alone all the time, felt worthless, spent way too many nights crying myself to sleep, and sometimes drifted into darker territory. This went on for most of 1st year at uni, until I couldn't take it anymore and had to do something. I wanted to tell someone but didn't want to seem 'weak' (which annoyingly as a guy this worries me) didn't want sympathy I wanted help and wasn't sure anyone could give me that. So first piece of advice which you may use as you please: don't expect there to be this perfect moment when someone takes your hand and asks if you're ok, if you want help from someone you have to let them know. Yeah, scary. Even now I've only told one person, but maybe you guys will be better than me 🙂

I started trying to see my friends from school more and talked to random people at uni even though it scared me, and even fluked some new friends. I started being myself and not trying to be 'socially acceptable'. Realised you trying to be the person I thought I was expected to be I'd lost who I enjoyed being. Started being more energetic and doing things without thinking, where before I'd over analysed every single thing I did. I didn't happen overnight there's no easy way to change things, it took weeks to feel consistently better and I'm still not perfect. I'm still a little shy and sometimes I have panic attacks or just want to break down and cry. But now I understand that those feeling will pass and I can get back to being who I enjoy being. 

 Hopefully this might help someone because there is always a way out even if you feel bad now it can get better if you really want it to, trust me it's worth it 🙂

Apologies for such an essay!

.5 🙂

[Fairywings]

hey, hope your well. well done and so brave of you to post your experience with depression. No don't apologize for the essay I don't see any essay. lol. This is something i have been dealing with most of my life too so yeah i sure as hell know its not an easy thing to cope with on a daily basis. I am so proud of you that you have had the inner strength to discover those triggers for yourself and learn how to cope with them and not let those feelings overtake you. This is such an important part of healing being able to recognize your own triggers because then you are able to overcome these feelings at a much faster pace and get back to being the happy healthy you again. Many many years later and i myself too am beating this as well. you will find that your episodes will become further and further apart allowing you some relief and allowing you to do the things in life you have always enjoyed doing. Your comment on that if you want the help you need to ask for it is 100% accurate and let me tell you your post will inspire many others. Depression and anxiety is not something that just goes away overnight, you are right in saying you have to work at it and then you will see, by having the right coping mechanisms in life to be able to handle the situation when your having these feelings of despair just makes life so much easier. Well done so good of you to share this experience with the rest of us. Keep up the good work i know you can beat this. Here if you need to chat. xx

[Narniakid]

Hey pointfive, thank you for sharing such an inspiring post!

I am also 19 and studying, and I can totally relate to the struggle of trying to 'fit in' with my peers. It is fantastic to hear that you accepted the depression for what it is, and decided to seek help. It shows me what a strong person you really are.  You're right in mentioning that it isn't something that will go away overnight, but I'm very impressed with your attitude towards handling it, because yes, it is okay to have a cry when you need to. Part of recovery is accepting that emotions are allowed to be felt, but they shouldn't take over your life. 

Keep up the great work!

Crystal

[blondguy]

Hey Pointfive

You are an Inspiration! I have read your post twice and thankyou for the excellent input.

* Talking to people about Depression...Excellent..a great habit to have....Its the same as a physical disorder

* 'The Feelings will Pass'.....well said Point...they will pass...'Anxiety' feelings are dreadful but physiologically the body doesnt have the ability to produce enough adrenaline to sustain a state of continual 'panic'

* You are mentioned 'overanalysing' yourself....Nice1 point...The brain can be a pain sometimes and having a 'tired' mind can result in over thinking which just compounds the problem..With practice we can become aware when we are over analyzing and undo this counter productive habit

It would be great if you can post again. There would be many people that would benefit from your experience and coping mechanisms

Kind Thoughts

Paul