I don't understand but I feel depressed

[SarahJH]

I feel always really sad and depressed and I don't understand what is wrong with me. Just a quick introduction, My name is Sarah and I'm in high school right now.

I am always sad and I have trouble with many social situations. This means I have no friends and no one to talk to and I don't talk my mum as she dosen't understand and she thinks it's all in my head. I don't live with my dad but I am staying with him as my mum can't handle me. I feel like she doesn't love me anymore and this makes me feel worse than I did at first. I really don't understand and want this to get better but I don't know how.

[White_Rose]

Dear Sarah

It's very brave of you to write in here, so thank you for talking to us. It's always sad when parents are separated and it hurts children like you. Moms usually understand what is happening in their children's lives but forget how huge these situations were when they were young. How do you get on with your dad? Does he listen to you?

Beyond Blue is a safe place for you to talk about the things that bother you and there will always be someone to answer and support you. However, I suggest that you also contact the Kids Helpline. Look at their web site. It's www.kidshelpline.com.au They have a 24/7 phone line with people to talk to who are used to high school students. The number is 1800 55 1800. This is also a safe place to talk about your feelings. You could also contact Headspace which is another safe organisation set up to help young people. http://headspace.org.au/ You can contact them at any time, 24/7, on 1800 650 890.

Having difficulty in social situations is fairly common. I think you would be surprised how many people your age find these situations hard to manage. Does your school have a debating club or any other sort of club where you can learn to join in conversations? Or any clubs that you think you would enjoy? Once you belong to something like that it becomes easier to chat because you have something in common to talk about. And that's how you make friends.

Please write in here as often as you wish. But also give the the above organisations a ring. I'm certain they will have lots of help and suggestions for you.

Mary

[Gruffudd]

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the forums. Especially where you don't have people you feel comfortable talking to this is a place to discuss, ask questions, and importantly seek those ideas that you can try out to make life better. So, if I think back to being a teenager and struggling there are some things I would encourage the teenage me to do:

1. Seek some support, headspace is a great service, some school counsellors can help, and there are plenty more places out there. 

2. Think about what makes you different or special. Often times there are groups of similar people around that you can join. For me as a gay teenager finding a group of others like me made the biggest difference - I thought I couldn't socialise before that and found out that sharing an interest or experience makes it so much easier. 

3. What do you enjoy doing, even a little bit? It can be a hard question, but think about it, and see if you can do more of those things. Spoil yourself. I actually like to explore, go for a walk and find new places I haven't been before.

4. Watch your thoughts, are you beating yourself up? Do you need a reality check by asking questions on this forum? Sometimes I am way too negative and hard on myself and need to rethink, challenge myself to think more positive, not to blame or say I must do or be something I am not. 

So anyway, just wanted to say welcome and I hope to see you again on the beyond blue forums.

Rob.

[Tomthesloth]

Hey Sarah.

 I Just wanted to say well done for writing and reaching out for help. When I was a teenager I didn't manage to be that brave and just bottled it up inside me. Years later I am still working through my insecurities and battling depression. 

The best thing you have done is reach out to talk. Like the other guys said there are many organisations that will specifically help teenagers, so they are worth contacting. But just remind yourself of this whenever you feel sad, depressed or lonely; you have the strength to reach out to anonymous people and ask for help and that takes a huge amount of courage and intelligence. So don't be too harsh on yourself. 

 I can't begin to imagine how difficult it is with your Mum at the moment, but it will get better. Whatever happens you have the strength to ask for help and if you act on it then you will overcome many difficulties in your path.

 If I can offer any advice it is to get a notebook and write down whatever you are feeling or thinking. It will help you to realise that some of the things that your mind makes you worry about are not as big or important as you thought. Above all else it gives your mind a rest from itself and you'll be surprised how good you can feel after. 

 Before I go I'll leave you with this, there are many people that feel the same as you, going through similar things, but they won't all talk about it. Don't ever feel you are alone, just remember we are here for you and it will be ok.

 Keep smiling, Tom 🙂