Turning 21 on the 19/10 - no real friends or any idea what I'm doing

[Jaybo]

Hey Guys,

Fairly (Very) new to this online thread thing.. a bit about my self - as you know from the title I'm turning 21 on Thursday, I'm from WA but have recently moved away from my home/family and friends (from Perth to the top end of WA) for a change. At first I really started loving it here, its a little country town and its just so peaceful and everyones so laid back and I've met a few pretty cool people - however there friends that I wouldn't be able to call right now and tell them my problems - because i don't really know them that well and am scared of what they'd think.

I also - obviously - got a new job, at the start it was good, i love the people i work with but the previous manager has recently left and i was pretty much forced and pushed into the management position without really wanting to do it - I was a manager back home for 2 years and it just got too stressful after a while and thats partially the reason why i got a new job. Very recently the owner has given me such a big work load with little time to complete it and having to stay back in the own time to complete it all - but i haven't got the guts to tell him that i don't enjoy it anymore and just want to leave but its hard being such a small town with not many job opportunities etc.

Going back to my birthday - I'm pretty down that I'm away from my real family and friends. I'm financially not okay with my bank always being in the "negatives" because all my payments come out and I'm left with no money each week - so on my birthday I'm pretty much stuck with a car with no fuel and a bank account thats in the negatives, like i said I've met some pretty cool people up here but its still early stages and just feel weird about hanging out with them still as most of them are just colleagues so i feel like i can't hang out with them out of work just yet.

Im not sure where Im going with this i really just wanted to reach out to people going through similar stuff at the moment and share my thoughts and hopefully help others too!

-Jaydos

[quirkywords]

Hello Jaybo,

I just wanted to welcome you to the forum and thanks you for sharing your story. This is a friendly and safe place to chat.

You have had a lot of changes recently with moving and your new responsibilities at works.

It is hard to be away from family and friends for any birthday let alone 21.

I was wondering if there is any way a few weeks after your birthday you can plan a trip back home and have a celebration then. Maybe part of your present may be petrol or a flight back home.

I hope you can plan something nice for your birthday with your colleagues in the town .Do they know it will be your 21st birthday. ? On your birthday can you Skype your family and friends- I know it is not the same as having them with you.

I just wanted to welcome you and thank you for posting. I am sure others will more ideas and be able to help.

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Jaybo,

I too welcome you to the community here.

Happy 21st Birthday for the 19th!

Yes, it must be tough having such a milestone Birthday away from family and friends.

People are really quite amazing, I am sure if you tell your colleagues it is your 21st Birthday they will at least wish you all the very best.

Recently a lady at one of the volunteer places where I help out, said it was her birthday that day. We went and bought a cake, nothing fancy, stuck some candles on it and sang Happy Birthday to her. She was thrilled by the effort we had made.

Maybe you could give it a go, tell someone at work it is your 21st and see what happens.

Sometimes we need to be open and bold so things can happen. If no one knows it is your birthday, they can do nothing about it.

Wishing you all the very best for the 19th!

[james1]

Hey jaybo,

Welcome and, in case I don't catch you before tomorrow, happy 21st 🙂

I'm 25 turning 26 in Dec and never had the guts to move away, but my girlfriend moved out from Scotland to NZ and now Australia when she was 18 so I kind of have second hand experience of it.

It's tough being away from home. Making friends etc. I imagine being in a small country town can be even harder.

I think Quirky and Doolhof's suggestion to see if your colleagues are down for something is a good idea. When I started at my job, I didn't feel like I could get into social circles and stuff. DIdn't feel like the right time. Now that I've been in my role for a few years and have seen people come and go, I've noticed that those who have been around for a while want to welcome the newcomers, but aren't sure if they're just a quiet person.

So I do think it's up to us when we start somewhere new to just be open. You won't be in on in the in-jokes straight away, but when they see you as someone who wants to just hang out with them, they'll be happy to invite you along.

And the other thing - moving is tough. But often moving back is tougher because it feels like failure. I don't know if this bothers you at all, but if you don't click with the people around, you've always got a home back in Perth and the doors sound like they're always open there. I think it's awesome that you've taken this big step to move away. Now it's just a matter of trying to establish yourself there, but if it doesn't work out, that's okay too.

James

[Quercus]

Hi Jaybo....

Well it's 1157 WST and by the time I post this you'll be 21. That is kinda cool to think of 😊.

🎈🎈HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎈🎈

🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

I like the Skype idea. Or depending on where you are up north go explore! Spend the first day of being 21 seeing something new and beautiful. No fuel? Who cares... Pack a picnic and lots of water and supplies and go explore. Country WA is amazing... Perth has nothing on it 😊.

My sister and I used to climb onto our roof and watch the sunset and then lie down and wait for the stars. The best thing about leaving the city is seeing the night sky without all the city lights. Beautiful.

Downside to country towns is it is easy to feel isolated. Isolation or involvement makes or breaks your experience in a small town I have found. If you make friends you'll love it a whole lot more. Reach out to your colleagues... You might be surprised. Or join a club... Anything that interests you.

I hope you have a good day today. Happy 21st Jaybo 😊

Nat

[quirkywords]

Jaybo

Happy 21st Birthday, though I am sure you will be asleep as it is about 5am as I write, unless you are up early.

I hope you have a great day and before or after work you can do something you like.

It would be nice to hear how your birthday went and how you are.

Enjoy today, Jaybo.

[Doolhof]

Hi Jaybo,

Happy 21st plus one day! Just wondering how your day went.

There is always the weekend to celebrate as well. Hopefully you were in contact with your family.

It is wonderful to see you had a few Happy Birthday greetings here as well.

All the best to you Jaybo, Cheers from Dools