Toughen up ?

[Guest_4DC6D4DC]

Hi

I suffer severe gad severe ptsd and depression and people keep telling me to just grow up and get over it and to toughen up. Ive been told this by 5 people in only a matter of 2 months. It took me 2 years to even get help as i was too scared to do that. Everytime I think that maybe i should tell this person i can trust them they serm to just tell me to toughen up. And three of these people were family members so ive lost most of my trust in anyone at all. Im starting to doubt my diagnises despite knowing they are the right ones and just think i should grow up even though ive had to grow up very fast already and im only 20yrs old

Whats everyone thoughts?

[BballJ]

Hi bellababe,

One of the worst things to say to a mental health sufferer is get over it or toughen up... most of us have probably experienced it at one point... I have GAD as well so I know how it is and have had people say why can't you just not think about it as I am an chronic over-thinker and that affects me heaps... Honestly I try to not listen to those people and don't even discuss my mental health with them because it just makes it harder on me... Just speak to the people you trust the most and if that is just your GP or Psych then that is fine... these forums should hopefully help you as we know being told to toughen up or get over it just doesn't help at all.

My best for you,

Jay

[blondguy]

Hi Bella

Good to talk again 🙂

As BballJ (Jay) said 'toughen up' is one of the worst things someone can say to a person with anxiety/depression

Its just not on

These people may as well say 'toughen up' to a person with a chronic physical illness or a broken leg......GAD is no different as its chemically based anyway which makes it a partially physical illness anyway

One of the keys to recovery is..."Avoid overly critical or negative people".....This does work as their words are spoken from ignorance and lack of knowledge

you are a strong and resilient person Bella

Great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue Family 🙂

my kindest

Paul

[Guest_4DC6D4DC]

Hi @blondguy @bballj

Unfortunately i cant avoid three of these people as one is my mother and i live with her, my aunt which i thought i could trust and one of my close friends who again i thought i could trust but obviously not.

I also have ptsd which makes every say life hard as well as gad and depression.

I guess as im 20 they think im old enough to just "get over it"

[blondguy]

Hi Bella

For sure there would be people (and family) that you live with or come into contact with that you cant 'avoid'

'just get over it' is another unwanted phrase that is meaningless and spoken through ingnorance

I hope that your relatives never have depression or GAD. They would never mention 'toughen up' again!

Keep doing everything you have been Bella...reading...researching and keep the counseling as frequent as you can so you can recover and find some peace from these health problems

my kindest

Paul

[BballJ]

Hi bellababe,

Some great advice from Paul (blondguy) above as per usual :)... when you can't avoid certain people it's almost best to tune them out to a degree and use your counselling sessions as your vent. Not every family understands mental health, I was lucky mine did which helped but my counsellor and these forums as well helped me the most.

Keep be apart of the forums and that may bring you some relief as you can tell, we do understand where you are coming from and you will not hear or read a "toughen up" or "get over it" from here as we understand what you are going through.

My best,

Jay

[Guest_4DC6D4DC]

Thank you

I keep my mental health to myself now except my health professionals that need to know 🙂