Young people

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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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jamesh887 New to this, didn't know what else to do
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, Ive never done this before but i really don't know where else to go or what else to do. Ive been with my gf for over 2 years now and she has major insecurities, anxiety and starting to fall into a depression, she won't admit it but I can... View more

Hi everyone, Ive never done this before but i really don't know where else to go or what else to do. Ive been with my gf for over 2 years now and she has major insecurities, anxiety and starting to fall into a depression, she won't admit it but I can notice it because I was diagnosed with a mild case back in 2012, which i have overcome and i would not even wish upon my worst enemy. Basically she constantly accuses me when hiding this about girls when I'm not and for checking out girls when I'm with her, which i don't. She never accepts any compliment i give her and tonight was breaking point. She asked me if i found this girl attractive to which i replied she's nothing special she is okay. This then turned into a massive argument which she replied you liar i think she's hot so you obviously do to, guys talk I'm not stupid. Which then lead to her asking who i find super hot. I told her a girl I thought was attractive, that was all i said, which is normal because she tells me oh his good looking to which i say yeah you know what he is or make a joke about it so she doesn't think it affects me. Which it doesn't. Anyway, she then goes on saying you find a girl that is not your gf the hottest girl you know, which i never said and I know if i turned around and said oh super hot is you, would just get called a liar and seared at multiple times. I can't get her to understand that i actually only care and want her, out of every person in this world I chose her and absolutely love her to bits. She is having none of it and said she wants a break because I apparently I'm not happy with our relationship according to her as i said another girl was attractive. I have tried to tell her over and over again that this is not the case and that no body compares to her which is true in my eyes, she just won't believe it. I know this all sounds petty but its getting to the point that it is occurring so much and I love her so much that i would do anything for her, in my early 20s and I'm going to propose next year. I don't know what to do, is it me just being stupid? Am i doing the wrong thing? I just want her to understand and trust me, need this insecurity to calm down because its really driving us apart right now and I can't be with out her, or let her be on her own during this difficult time. Sorry for the rant but really need some advice or strategies in how to cope with this. Im running out of ideas and feel I'm fighting a battle against her mind which i can't win

ladyanxious25 Help to manage constant anxiety
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, This is really hard to admit but I've been really struggling with anxious feelings. Every day I wake up tense and anxious, sometimes for no reason at all. Recently though things have been getting worse and worse. I feel really anxious an... View more

Hi everyone, This is really hard to admit but I've been really struggling with anxious feelings. Every day I wake up tense and anxious, sometimes for no reason at all. Recently though things have been getting worse and worse. I feel really anxious and overwhelmed in social situations (with friends and at work - I started a new job this week and felt totally inexperienced/embarrassed, and interviewed for another to start soon). I become super self conscious of my appearance, mannerisms, and just feel awkward in general. I try to think about things realistically because I know anxiety can impact on how we perceive things but it's difficult. Breathing exercises/mindfulness help sometimes, but I've noticed that I get very hot and flustered and can't think straight. The way I communicate with others has really gone downhill, too. I hate myself. Some days I feel super excited about life and great about myself and other days (like today) I want to stay in bed all day and sleep/hide from the world. This is so hard. I'm scared to talk to my GP or see a psychologist. I want to work in the mental health field and worried that it'll impact on me professionally, and I've heard that seeking professional help may prevent you from getting travel insurance (I have plans to visit Europe next year)? Any help to manage social anxiety and feeling hot when anxious would be so appreciated. Thanks for reading - this turned into a very long post

jj806 Should I stay at my part time job even though it makes me feel so anxious?
  • replies: 2

Hi, my name is Jess. I'm 15 years old and have just started a part time job in a bakery. I received a call two months after I applied for the job asking if I wanted to come in for what I thought was an interview, but was actually training. The boss i... View more

Hi, my name is Jess. I'm 15 years old and have just started a part time job in a bakery. I received a call two months after I applied for the job asking if I wanted to come in for what I thought was an interview, but was actually training. The boss is nice, but I struggle to understand her as she doesn't speak much English. She told me after i'd had my first two training sessions that it would take me 16 weeks to be up to the standard where she can trust me too be able to manage the bakery on my own if no one else was working. My family is going on a big holiday to Europe at the end of March, so heres my dilemma. I never knew it was possible for a part time job to make me so anxious. I have nearly cried while working and It takes me so much courage to even walk in there. I have shifts on the weekend, and I have to start preparing myself at the start of the week. I have a 5 hour shift in in half an hour, and I had a 5 hour shift yesterday too. I don't know how worth it it is for me to struggle through a job that makes me feel physically ill when I'm going away for 6 weeks on march 28. I wish working came easy to me. Do you think I should stick it through until my holiday, even though when I get back I probably won't continue with the job it makes me feel so horrible and empty?

Broncies_18 Self conscious about body and full depression cause of it
  • replies: 9

I don't if anyone here can give me advice on this issue but I just don't know what do and run out of options of what to do mentally. I have suffered from anxiety and depression on and off throughout last year and I'm 18 so it has been a really strugg... View more

I don't if anyone here can give me advice on this issue but I just don't know what do and run out of options of what to do mentally. I have suffered from anxiety and depression on and off throughout last year and I'm 18 so it has been a really struggle since finishing school. It was depression then health anxiety laced over that for a period of about 6-7 months and was never ending. But in the last couple of months it's been about my body noticeabley my man hood. Now if this is an inappropriate topic of conversation than I understand if people don't reply but I just have no idea what to do right now. I am still virgin through choice (don't want a one night thing) but my concern is with my man hood that it will turn girls off because it isn't exactly the best thing to look at as it is prominently curved and very obvious which for me has only been a concern recently and a lot of embarrassment and anxiety and led to a depressed mood about it as I have no idea what to do at the moment. I see my mates running around doing whatever with anyone and I kind of feel left out as I feel embarrassed and when I'm around girls I'm fine and all but can never get further because I feel so ashamed and embarrassed about my genitalia that I start to think will it ever happen for me and when it does what will the girl think when she sees a very prominent curve and in turn be a massive turn off. Complelty understand if this topic is inappropriate but I really need a bit of advice or guidance as to what I can do cause I feel like apart from uni I wasting my teen years due to my insecurity and just am fed up and frustrated with it.

behindthesmile Introduce yourself
  • replies: 6

Hi, I think most people can be anxious about posting on a new website, even more so when you don't know anyone yet but don't fear... I'm new too and I am confident that I will find lots of people to talk to and so will you. so introduce yourself tell... View more

Hi, I think most people can be anxious about posting on a new website, even more so when you don't know anyone yet but don't fear... I'm new too and I am confident that I will find lots of people to talk to and so will you. so introduce yourself tell me a bit about yourself and I will do the same I'm sure we can become friends haha even if it is anonymous. (please don't judge if spelling or punctuation is wrong I am not good at either) ok let me introduce myself, I am in my late teens and I have been diagnosed with depression anxiety and social phobia so I sue you can understand how scary this is. my doctor has been trying to get me to go on this website for awhile now. I have to admit I lie saying I have been too busy when in reality I was frightened. but I knew I had to push through that in order to get better. not only do I have depression among many other things but so does my dad of whom I live with. I try my best to look after him when he needs me but often I don't feel strong enough and that why I'm here. so far I have learned so much from this website among others and I feel more equipt. now I think its time to meet some people. that's a bit of my story, I am eager to read a bit of yours.

ClicheOnlineAlias Hello everyone
  • replies: 5

This is my first post and I’d like to introduce myself. I am a 22-year-old male living near Perth, Western Australia. I am an undergrad student, unemployed and have suffered from anxiety and depression since my early adolescence. I’ve come searching ... View more

This is my first post and I’d like to introduce myself. I am a 22-year-old male living near Perth, Western Australia. I am an undergrad student, unemployed and have suffered from anxiety and depression since my early adolescence. I’ve come searching for a support group to confide in, share tips and knowledge, triumphs and failures, or simply to establish some new form of social activity. I tow the entire anxiety/depression baggage train: low self-esteem and confidence, countless doubts, insecurities and worries, on and off again insomnia, agoraphobia, loneliness, self-loathing, high levels of introversion and self-consciousness - the whole shebang! I’m sure many of you can relate. It is unlikely for me to reach out to an online community, as is expected of an anxiety sufferer. However, I am encouraged by the safety of anonymity and knowing the supportive purpose of this forum. I also find it time-consuming due to my habit of over-scrutinising my writing. (Take for example this post which took me over an hour to compose). When I was younger I found it much easier to reach out to others through social media than in person. I have largely abandoned my old accounts and social media sites in general due to my accumulated history of social embarrassments and mistakes that I have made through them. I want to return to using the internet to communicate with people other than my small circle of close friends and I think this forum is a great place to start. I hope to grow and learn from you all.

rosewater Restrictive parents
  • replies: 3

I'm currently 18 years old and I feel like my parents grip on me hasn't loosed since I was 12. They don't let me leave the house and go out with friends, my dad won't even let me get a job because that would mean 1) I'd be out of the house and 2) Mak... View more

I'm currently 18 years old and I feel like my parents grip on me hasn't loosed since I was 12. They don't let me leave the house and go out with friends, my dad won't even let me get a job because that would mean 1) I'd be out of the house and 2) Making my own money means gaining financial independence, which he doesn't want. Even if I do manage to convince them to let me go out, they insist on dropping me off and picking me up, and will text/call me the whole time I'm there. During high school I was never even allowed to catch public transport to school. In terms of my social anxiety, this whole situation just worsens it because whenever my friends make plans or I'm invited to attend some social event I have to turn it down, which then just leaves me feeling isolated and keeps me from meeting new people. So in high school I gained a reputation for being anti-social and a 'loner', basically. I'm starting uni this year which means the only way for me to maintain friendships is to make plans with people (since I can't be around them 5 days a week). My friends are starting to invite me out clubbing and I really want to go but it's too far a reach to even consider my parents allowing me to. I'm jealous of people my age who have more control over their own lives. I'd like to move out but if I can't even step out the door then moving out is completely out of the question + I don't think I could handle it financially. I don't really know what my question is here but I guess I just needed a place to vent because I feel frustrated and outcast at times. Hope it didn't come across as too angsty.

Luciana Feeling kind of alone and depressed.
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, I'm Luchia and I actually have paid a few visits to this site before. Right now I'm 24 years old and most days I feel quite down, and as if I'm not up to par with everyone else. So a bit of background info, I used to be my mother's carer... View more

Hi everyone, I'm Luchia and I actually have paid a few visits to this site before. Right now I'm 24 years old and most days I feel quite down, and as if I'm not up to par with everyone else. So a bit of background info, I used to be my mother's carer from the age of 17 to 23, she actually had her leg amputated and has a muscle disorder. In between that space of time I also worked (retail, cleaner, nanny) and studied, I re-completed my year 12 and completed two education assistant courses which have landed me in the jobs I am in now, a special needs education assistant and also a childcare assistant. Working as an education assistant has made me realize how passionate I am about education and also reignited my passion for learning. I decided to apply for university when I was 22 and I had two choices, either a bachelor of Primary Education (four years), or a double major of Japanese and Asian Studies (three years). Ever since I was younger I've adored the Japanese culture and language and I pick up the language quite easily, the lowest so far that I've scored in a test is 92%. Once I complete this degree I would also like to complete a diploma or masters of Education, thus I would be studying for four years anyway, or five depending on which university I attend for my postgraduate degree. I would love to be able to teach in Japan and there seem to be quite a lot of opportunities to teach English there. One of my lecturers actually has done what I plan to do, studying the language first and then education, so I've felt pretty good about my chosen pathway. However it's also quite a lonely pathway, most of my peers actually seem to be younger or much older than myself. There isn't much time for socializing during semester, but it would be nice to talk to someone outside of class occasionally. I used to go to a church and made some friends there, however two of the girls there became quite pushy with enforcing their beliefs on me, which has made it quite awkward to attend the youth catch-ups. Last year I actually met my now boyfriend though and I thought things were looking up on the social side of life, but since I've gotten to known him more, I've actually found myself becoming less attracted to him, which is weird because I made the first move and I was so happy when I was first talking to him. My parents are saying give it more time, but I kind of see myself ending it. So...yes I'm feeling really alone and I don't see and end in sight to this.

Zoe_Adele Feeling alone because you have no one
  • replies: 2

Hi this is Zoe I feel alone my family just uses me so I can help my sick dad and my sister who has bpd and they don't seem to notice that I'm going through hell because I have no friends that I can hang out with or talk to I was sexualy assaulted whe... View more

Hi this is Zoe I feel alone my family just uses me so I can help my sick dad and my sister who has bpd and they don't seem to notice that I'm going through hell because I have no friends that I can hang out with or talk to I was sexualy assaulted when I was 15 and all the support I got was from friends at school and support staff my family didn't care and just ignored it

crazycatlady13 How to get over social anxiety & fear of entering the workforce???
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone! So I am a recent uni graduate and currently finding a full time job to get off welfare payments (I am over going to job provider appointments!). I am currently working remotely in my field of study, the pay is very small and because I am... View more

Hi everyone! So I am a recent uni graduate and currently finding a full time job to get off welfare payments (I am over going to job provider appointments!). I am currently working remotely in my field of study, the pay is very small and because I am at home most of the time, not interacting with others etc, it is not something I want to be stuck in for the long term because it'll make my social anxiety worse! I've been socially anxious since I was in primary school but I did make heaps of friends over the years, we all just drifted apart after high school ended. While I love to be out in public places like shopping centres and restaurants etc. what triggers my SA the most is being the centre of attention, talking to people in authority, presentations, having a conversation with some strangers, being watched and getting to know new people. Around 2015 during my 3rd year of uni, my social anxiety became worse when I went to my first real job interview. I was so nervous I said the most stupidest things and wasn't surprised when I didn't get the job. The interview pretty much killed my self esteem. I've never had a casual job because I was too scared to work - I was afraid I wouldn't be able to complete tasks properly, interacting with customers etc. and I regret wasting my younger years away because everyone I knew had at least one job during high school years Now that I've graduated, my family members are always asking if I have a job and my mum is probably disappointed in me for not having a job yet and its making me feel worthless! Right now I cannot find any suitable positions because they all need years of experience (I so far have 9 months experience) and when I do find something, I put off submitting my resume because I don't want to be called to an interview because I hate them! I do want to work, I just feel like if I do get something, I'll stuff up and probably be laid off. My field of study requires a lot of communication, liaising, meetings - I don't know why I decided to major in it. I was interested in it but my anxiety makes me wonder if I am capable of pursuing this career or if I should go another direction. I HATE living with social anxiety!