The longer my mental health goes the more people disappear

[Donnac]

Hi there this is my first posting however I contacted beyond blue recently. I've used every resource possible to help with my depression and without beyond blue (albeit my last resource, feels like my only resource left). My amazing husband of 27 years (childhood sweethearts), has run out of steam. He has always tried to 'fix' me. I've lost many so called 'friends' and fair weather friends have let me down recently at work! My parents are quick to get off phone incase I mention my mental health and I'm very alone! I'm not sure I feel the way I do since switching medication only two weeks ago. I had a colleague (thought we were friends as suffer mh too) email me and shout that I'm permanently off work and that everyone takes the slack for me!! Well I didn't need this just after changing medication. I've made a mental note to not talk about my illnesses (keeping the stigma alive) and only discuss with my community mental health nurse and beyond blue. I even feel my doctor sighs when he sees me. Can I just be me around the ones I love and leave my mood disorders for the professionals?? Btw I do yin yoga, meditation, exercise regularly and eat healthily. Never put weight on and take antidepressants too. Anyone have similar issues with approx 14 years of ptsd, anxiety and major depression? Warm regards Donna

[Starwolf]

Hi Donna, welcome to the forums. You have come to the right place. Well done for being proactive. When no support is available around us, reaching out further is a wise decision.

It is true that loneliness is often a mental illness by-product. It is difficult to understand for those affected, even more so for those around them. It cannot be explained in terms of logic and reason but most people expect explanations to "make sense" to them. Discussing mental illness requires to think outside the familiar square. Many find it uncomfortable so they end up saying/doing unhelpful things or withdrawing to evade the issue. It doesn't mean they don't care, just that they don't know how to.

Having depression is bad enough but social isolation sure doesn't help. I have found that volunteering not only gets us out of our safety bubble and out of our head. It also allows us to mingle with compassionate people who are usually more understanding and tolerant of differences than average.

Copying this link into your browser will access useful tips on discussing mental illness :

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talk-about-it#findwords

Please keep in mind that medication takes a while to kick in so a change may temporarily throw a spanner in the works. If things don't settle, do not hesitate to talk to your prescribing doctor. We're all different and are affected differently by a similar treatment. There is no way your doctor will know this medication is not working for you if s/he isn't told.

Meanwhile, please feel free to continue to post, may it be to connect, share or let steam off. Rest assured that you will be heard and understood.

We're here for you.

[Guest_128]

Hey there Donna,

I'm hearing what you are saying,I feel like that a lot.

Starwolf,thank you for your post,it has helped me greatly.👍🏻

Later

[geoff]

hello Donnac, mental health used to be taboo, but now people are learning and accepting that talking about it will definitely help you, however there is still those who aren't prepared to help anybody, because they don't know how to behave, what to say or even advise any useful information which maybe helpful, so they run and don't want to talk about it with you.
I think this happens with most illness's, but depression is so difficult to know where to even begin, that's why it should be a topic at primary school and all the way up to year 12, but even then, there will be so many questions that they have no answer for.
You will probably be pretending to your friends/family, making out that you are OK, but deep down you are struggling, and eventually all of this will become too much and exhaustion will set in.
There will be only a small handful of people who are concerned for you, while the rest don't want to have any contact, this is what does happen to everybody who has suffered from depression, so it's very common, and even those who you would dearly love to be worried about you, fall off the radar.
I would suggest you find another doctor, and you can do this by clicking 'Get Support' and there will be a file to help you get another doctor, these doctors are aligned with BB and specialise in MH.
Please keep in touch with us, it would be great to hear back from you. Geoff.