that guy

[madeline1]

so i like this guy, but he doesn’t like me, he probably thinks im annoying that didn’t really bother me until he called my cousin hot, we are close me and my cousin so this annoyed me even more. but ever since then i can’t help feeling like im ugly like there’s something wrong with me. i never normally feel like this, please help.

[startingnew]

Hi Madeline and welcome

I dont think your ugly or that theres anything wrong with you, each individual person has their own tastes in people. it doesnt mean others are ugly just that they arent the person he/she is looking for.

I hope this helps abit.

[45987]

I would try to have a normal/general conversation with him, so you can figure out if he really thinks you're annoying, or maybe doesn't know you that well, or maybe even likes you. In my experience, not knowing the person properly will make it easy to build up a false idea in your mind and make it harder to move on.

There's definitely nothing wrong with you, even if he doesn't like you back. Many different people have different tastes - Just because you don't meet one person's ideal, doesn't mean you won't meet many other people's ideal.

[therising]

Hi madeline1

I hear your frustration! That 'attraction' thing can lead to a bit of self-questioning.

Attraction is a funny thing as a lot of it is in our head, literally. We see someone or hear someone speak and BAMM, our brain starts firing and chemistry begins surging. What triggers such attraction varies from person to person. Some will feel chemistry, so to speak, with a person who has blonde hair, some will feel it towards a 'cuddly' person (aka plumpish) and some will feel it all because of a certain type of smile or sense of humour. If you want to take it all the way back to basics, some brains perceive a mate who holds the potential to reproduce a 'more evolved' offspring (intelligence, looks, the whole package). This is a little more obvious when we hear of women ticking those lists when it comes to picking the right sperm donor regarding artificial insemination. Yes, we still have that animal instinct inside of us to different degrees.

In my opinion, a slightly more evolved person will recognise the potential for evolution beyond basic appearance. When you find one of those, grab 'em and hold onto 'em cos they're a keeper. Someone like this will reflect both your beauty and you value, in what they say and do in your life. They will be invested in your evolution and the evolution of the relationship you share.

If it's love your looking for, love is to be found in evolution not in what we see in the mirror. In your own evolution there is self-love and in the evolution of a relationship you share with another, there is mutual love. So my question to you is 'How invested is this guy, really, in helping another person evolve?' or is he more interested in what's in it for him? Maybe he's a nice guy who's simply unaware of how you feel.

Hope putting a different spin on 'attraction' has helped make a difference.

Take care of yourself madeline1 and keep on evolving in positive ways which define you as being truly beautiful!