Young people

Friendly help on friends please!

replies: 3

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing as best as you can. As you can see from the title, I would really appreciate some advice on friends in general. I am a first year university student who moved interstate to study, and feel as though I am really stru... View more

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing as best as you can. As you can see from the title, I would really appreciate some advice on friends in general. I am a first year university student who moved interstate to study, and feel as though I am really struggling in the friend department. What made me write this post is basically my experience of university. In orientation week, I got to know the one friend I made this entire year. As I am an interstate student, I stay on campus in the college dorms. At first I thought I'd have a great time, and was really excited to meet new people. However, as time went on I felt very anxious about my ability to speak to people. You see, the friend that I made had a very outgoing personality and was always able to make whoever he talked to laugh. But when I tried to talk to people, the conversation would feel extremely bland and go nowhere. Because this occurred more than a couple of times, I started to talk less to people in the dorms. This feeling also carried over to university when classes began. I had trouble finding friends because everyone seemed to know each other from high school. I was added into a facebook group chat that contained around 50 of the students in my course. However, I missed out on the 'Welcome Party' for the course, and as such didn't get to meet all my course mates. This also lead on to me missing the course ball in August because I felt so scared that I didn't know anyone from my course. I feel like now it's too late to mingle with my course mates, and I'll be in the same year as them studying the same thing for the next 4 years! I just don't want to be 'that guy' who no one actually knows (which now I see is very ironic) I just don't know how to approach a group of 50 people who now seem very close and comfortable with each other. Also, as it is currently mid-term break, I flew back to my home state. I tried to meet up with a friend of mine who I deemed quite close. But no matter how I tried, he didn't seem to want to meet up with me for some reason. He said he was busy and didn't even bother trying to find another day. I just felt so crushed and uncertain about friendships. Does anyone else experience the same thing with friends? I hope to get a response! Thanks

Keeping up with life and university

replies: 2

I struggle keeping up to date with university studies. When my anxiety acts up or my home life gets bad I fall behind. I always finish assignments on time and complete necessary exams/tests. But mentally and physically I feel behind. I’m a perfection... View more

I struggle keeping up to date with university studies. When my anxiety acts up or my home life gets bad I fall behind. I always finish assignments on time and complete necessary exams/tests. But mentally and physically I feel behind. I’m a perfectionist and knowing I could’ve done an assignment better keeps me awake at night. I start wishing for a pause button just to breathe. All I want to do is sleep and avoid human contact. I don’t catch up with friends or go to uni if I don’t have to. Family issues are unpredictable and in my case extremely severe. This semester something happened during the mid-semester exam period!! Both my parents suffer from mental illness, my dad OD’s twice a year and has since I was 8... I’m now 21. Any issue that occurs with my family truly knocks me down. Seeing a professional is scary! My whole life I jump from person to person trying to find help but in the end it does more damage than good. It’s hard re-living a traumatic experience over and over with strangers who stare at you like an experiment. Therapist can’t help me but I’m near the end game. I honestly don’t know what to do to help me mentally. Talking out loud about it makes me cry hysterically. Medication doesn’t work, they gave me shakes and took me to hospital. Right now I just need advice on how everyone survives the uni stress and personal stress. How do you keep on top of university during a mental breakdown? I apologise for this post being all over the place. I have a lot on my mind!

SOMEONE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND

replies: 4

Hi, I couldn't find a thread relating to this so I thought id make my own. I'm really lost at the moment and I'm so confused with who I am. I know the person I want to be but somehow I keep coming back to this same issue that I can't seem to figure o... View more

Hi, I couldn't find a thread relating to this so I thought id make my own. I'm really lost at the moment and I'm so confused with who I am. I know the person I want to be but somehow I keep coming back to this same issue that I can't seem to figure out. I've always felt that I've been different to other people but I just didn't know why and I want to know. I struggle daily with anxiety of the silliest of things, I get so nervous talking to people and feel like I'm worthless. I'm so boring and even when I try to find things that will hopefully up me from that, I just crash and burn. I feel like I have no purpose in life no matter how hard I've tried. I don't have any close friends really. I find it really hard to open and be vulnerable. I've never had a boyfriend, I've always wanted one but I'm so fearful of even just going on a date. this isn't making any sense but I'm just writing as it comes to my head as I have so many thoughts. I'm an INFJ which I've read is also the least popular personality type which I think is 1% of the population, crazy right. People never stick to me which makes me wonder whether I'm boring, not a good friend/person. I don't know it really gets to me and bad thoughts go through my head. sometimes I lie in bed for days on end with the same thoughts going through my head. thats the other thing, I find it super hard to open up and tell my feelings as I am scared that I will let people down. I am really struggling with day to day life and Im really over it. is anyone else out there?

sick of this place

replies: 2

ever since i went overseas last year, i can’t help but feel like there if so much more out there for me. im so sick of school it’s actually the worst. i literally want to run away. staying here is making it so much worse. I would miss so many people ... View more

ever since i went overseas last year, i can’t help but feel like there if so much more out there for me. im so sick of school it’s actually the worst. i literally want to run away. staying here is making it so much worse. I would miss so many people and im so lucky to live in a safe place. but it’s boring and horrible. i really can’t deal with this place anymore. i have got to get out of here i seriously want to buy a ticket to anywhere in the world and go, see where life takes me. this doesn’t sound like a serious issue, I know but it’s messing with me so much, I cry I just can’t deal with living here anymore there’s to much to see and do. I really hate it here, what should I do? I’m just so done, THX 4 LISTENING TO MY ISSUE

Mindfulness from a skeptics point of view: a how-to and knowing the facts.

replies: 5

Mindfulness. Is it a load of fluff? I thought so at first. I started a course & at first I thought it was pointless - 6 weekly sessions plus mindfulness meditation 2 x daily... No thanks. ALAS I'm here to tell you that it can actually be useful & tha... View more

Mindfulness. Is it a load of fluff? I thought so at first. I started a course & at first I thought it was pointless - 6 weekly sessions plus mindfulness meditation 2 x daily... No thanks. ALAS I'm here to tell you that it can actually be useful & that it's easy to start doing it. Firstly, I guess it would be good for me to tell you what it is. To put it simply, mindfulness is about being aware, being present. "Well, duh!" you might say, but there's a little more to it. Let me ask you this – have you ever lay in bed, thinking of something, realizing that you can’t sleep, knowing that you should be sleeping, & then gotten angry at yourself for not sleeping? It happens to everyone. My point is, this is not being mindful. Mindfulness is about being aware of what’s happening for you, physically, emotionally, & mentally, but taking away the judgement, & just accepting. It’s thinking “hey, I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping, my back is slightly sore & uncomfortable… huh” & that’s about it – letting the evaluations go. Easier said than done LT… I get it. There are two main types of mindfulness; i) formal practice, ii) informal practice. Formal practice is mindful meditation. Generally you want to start by sitting upright, in a comfortable position with your eyes closed (or open/half open if you’re prone to sneaky nana naps). There are a few ways you can practice mindful meditation: Grounding: sitting with your physical state & noticing the sensations within your body – this didn’t work for me because it’s not obvious enough … but it’s okay! Focus on breath: feel the breath going in & out of the body, notice where you’re breathing into, but don’t try to control the breath - this one worked better for me, it’s a lot less subtle & gave my mind more to think about. Focus on sound: this ones about listening to what’s going on in the environment, big/small noises, your own breathing- pretty much anything. I liked this one too, it took my concentration outside of my body. Typically what happens is that your mind will start thinking & that’s only natural. Just practice bringing your attention back, without judgement. Informal practice is more daily living. This includes being more aware of your physical or emotional state (i.e. noticing if you’re hungry or nervous), noticing things in your environment, & just being there, without judging, evaluating, or labeling. Wanting this to be a space for learning, got lots more info if you guys are interested! LT.

I'm not depressed but I am very lonely..

replies: 2

Hey, I've never done one of these so I'm just gonna say right off, I'm not depressed or have anxiety I just m a very lonely person, I live with my partner and spend all my free time with her, though the rest of of time is working. I usually work unti... View more

Hey, I've never done one of these so I'm just gonna say right off, I'm not depressed or have anxiety I just m a very lonely person, I live with my partner and spend all my free time with her, though the rest of of time is working. I usually work until 9 at night so I never go out on the weekends, I don't spend any time with anybody, and I don't really talk to anyone except my partner. I don't have any friends that want to hang out so I spend all my free time at home, now it's not because Im bad at making friends, I'm a very confident person when meeting new people, I'm great at getting to know people but friendships struggle to form. If I go to make a new friend our conversations stagnate after a week or two and they eventually stop talking to me. And now that I look at everything I try to do all I see is the fact that whenever I do want to go and spend time with someone or make friends, my partner always has something planned because we work so much it's come to the point where I never bother leaving the house because when I get home she is sick or upset or soemthing has happened. My last real friend that I had over three years ago had been my greatest friend for almost my whole life and we only stopped talking when I ended up spending every waking hour with my partner, she tries to get me out to go and meet people but everytime I do go out she complains about having to be alone. And even all through this I can safely say I am not depressed though it may seem, I'm very motivated and I will reach my goals even if I have to live a boring life without friends, I need to prove to my family that I won't end up like them, and that's what keeps me going. I just find most of my days are spent in boredom until I go to work, which is now one of the only things I look forward to each day.

Fear of the Future

replies: 1

I’m not depressed or anything i don’t think, i’m just conflicted as i have accepted failure in regards to the pursuit of my aspirations but i’m to stubborn to give up. I know i’m going to fail, i don’t work as hard as i pretend to, i havn’t made prog... View more

I’m not depressed or anything i don’t think, i’m just conflicted as i have accepted failure in regards to the pursuit of my aspirations but i’m to stubborn to give up. I know i’m going to fail, i don’t work as hard as i pretend to, i havn’t made progress to the extent that i intended to, and i’m getting older and seeing a whole world of people better than me at the only thing that gives my life meaning. Despite this, i’ll still wake up every morning (not in the miserable mood that i’m in now) follow the same schedule, have the same “you’re not working hard enough” discussion with myself multiple times, and then a couple weeks down the line get all sad and grumpy again about all that i have achieved. I’m just venting i suppose. Sometimes i get comforted by the thought that even if i’m not working hard enough, the amount i’m doing will get me somewhere, and this is true i think, I find it hard to believe that if i did something everyday for ten years I wouldn’t be above adequate at it, but in saying that, above adequate is not what i want, and i’m convinced that during every chapter of my life i’m going to look back at all this ‘hard work’ i’ve put in, and be burdened by my failures. I’m off to bed, a happier mood awaits me : p

Adjusting to First Full-Time Job and the Weekend

replies: 4

Hi all, I have just started working my first full-time (Monday-Friday) job and I'm finding it hard to adjust to. My biggest problem is the weekends. I have spent the past 6 years working weekends, but now I am feeling lost having the weekends free. I... View more

Hi all, I have just started working my first full-time (Monday-Friday) job and I'm finding it hard to adjust to. My biggest problem is the weekends. I have spent the past 6 years working weekends, but now I am feeling lost having the weekends free. I feel like I need to be making the most of the weekends, going out and seeing friends; and I keep worrying other people have much more exciting weekends than me. I don't have many friends to catch up with on the weekend and whenever I hear of other people spending time with their friends I feel jealous. I feel completely different now that I am working full time, like I have forgotten who I am and I am not doing the things I normally love to do. I am judging myself more and comparing myself to other people. I am putting pressure on myself to adjust to this 'new life' but I am losing myself in the process which is causing anxiety and stress to myself. I have started meditating but am looking for support if anybody else has felt this way? Your stories and suggestions are welcome

Struggling to see the point

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I’m writing because I’m really struggling to find the point of anything. I feel like nobody I know is truly happy. This includes the people in my family, at work and the people at my uni. I kind of hate being at home because my parents c... View more

Hi everyone, I’m writing because I’m really struggling to find the point of anything. I feel like nobody I know is truly happy. This includes the people in my family, at work and the people at my uni. I kind of hate being at home because my parents can’t seem to go a day without complaining or having an argument with each other. I know that unfortunately when people are unhappy they tend to be mean and rude. Some people at my uni that I’m “friends” with have sometimes been rude and treated me in a way that I know I don’t deserve. It then is just hard to come home and have to deal with with my family. Sometimes it can be really bad and others it’s ok but it never feels great to be home, I’m usually anxious because I’m just waiting for something to go wrong like it usually does. I’m sure all of their issues are worse than mine but I’m always the one caught in the middle, either trying to ignore the fights between my parents and sister or be on the phone begging my mother to come home because she is fighting with my dad. I am a big believer in ‘being the change you want to see in the world’, so I always try and be kind to people and am willing to help ( which may be a reason I get stepped on a lot of the time) however I still just keep feeling like I’m worthless and start to struggle seeing the point of anything, especially living like this where I feel like so many people are unhappy or rude, and where I always feel alone in my head. I really try to see the best in things and I know I just have to wait and things will get better but I’m just sick of feeling like this and crying so often. I also struggle quit a bit with anxiety so things do seem twice as hard to to do in general. I know there are good people out there, and I am so incredibly thankful when I do come across them but it doesn’t stop everything from just seeming so hard, even the simplest of things. I’m always so tried and just wondering what I am really doing and what is the point.

Feeling overwhelmingly alone, sad, and scared for my future.

replies: 1

Hi All, This is my first time posting so please bare with me as I explain a little awkwardly about my situation. I am a 23 year old female, who has a loving boyfriend of 4 years, and supportive family. I have spent many years abroad backpacking/worki... View more

Hi All, This is my first time posting so please bare with me as I explain a little awkwardly about my situation. I am a 23 year old female, who has a loving boyfriend of 4 years, and supportive family. I have spent many years abroad backpacking/working, and consider myself generally a happy person. Recently, I decided it was time to start a career. I chose my field, horticulture, and began an apprenticeship. The first year was amazing as I had a supportive manager and he was able to coach me through the industry and made everything seem fun and enjoyable. But when he left in January I was placed with a new boss, and he has been anything but supportive or helpful. Over the last year, he gave me more responsibilities in the workplace that I wasn't trained for, and has done nothing but criticise me, yell at me and has treated me very inappropriately (imagine, all the regular stigma surrounding Australian apprentices, then throw in the fact that I am young and female, and he is a 63 year old male) I have been verbally abused, overworked, manipulated and sexually harassed in the workplace, and the HR team has only just begun doing something about it. As a result of all the new stress and anxiety I have for going into work, I have been feeling overwhelmingly alone, sad, and scared for my future. Most nights I am alone, I just sit and cry and then try to sleep. I have lost weight due to the stress of having to face my boss each day, andI have lost friends because whenever I see them I just seem to be negative and upset. My partner is amazing and loves me i know but he just doesn't understand what I am going through, and I can feel myself pushing him away because I don't want to rub all my negativity and bad thoughts onto him too. I guess I am lost, I don't know how to cope with my workload, study and social life. It all seems like it's just too much. The thought of leaving my job sickens me as it is a difficult industry to find an apprenticeship in, and the future scares me. I suppose that is all. I just want to go back to that happy person that I was, I want that passion back in my life and I want my voice to be heard before I spiral even further down this depressive rabbit hole. Thanks to whoever might read this, I wish I could find some help

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

Friendly help on friends please!

replies: 3

Keeping up with life and university

replies: 2

SOMEONE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND

replies: 4

sick of this place

replies: 2

Mindfulness from a skeptics point of view: a how-to and knowing the facts.

replies: 5

I'm not depressed but I am very lonely..

replies: 2

Fear of the Future

replies: 1

Adjusting to First Full-Time Job and the Weekend

replies: 4

Struggling to see the point

replies: 2

Feeling overwhelmingly alone, sad, and scared for my future.

replies: 1

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Friendly help on friends please! replies: 3

Keeping up with life and university replies: 2

SOMEONE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND replies: 4

sick of this place replies: 2

Mindfulness from a skeptics point of view: a how-to and knowing the facts. replies: 5

I'm not depressed but I am very lonely.. replies: 2

Fear of the Future replies: 1

Adjusting to First Full-Time Job and the Weekend replies: 4

Struggling to see the point replies: 2

Feeling overwhelmingly alone, sad, and scared for my future. replies: 1

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Friendly help on friends please!

replies: 3

Keeping up with life and university

replies: 2

SOMEONE HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND

replies: 4

sick of this place

replies: 2

Mindfulness from a skeptics point of view: a how-to and knowing the facts.

replies: 5

I'm not depressed but I am very lonely..

replies: 2

Fear of the Future

replies: 1

Adjusting to First Full-Time Job and the Weekend

replies: 4

Struggling to see the point

replies: 2

Feeling overwhelmingly alone, sad, and scared for my future.

replies: 1